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And so, RHPG's life takes another turn.
I'm going to try my best to keep this semi short, and put it in some semblance of order. Forgive me if it gets too long, or starts to make no sense.
As many of you know, I came out of an abusive marriage last year, and recently applied to go back to Job Corps. I decided to go to Job Corps because the economy here hasn't been the greatest, so it's been rather difficult to find a job.
However, this week, things have changed. Thursday, I went to my first counseling session. I've been feeling really depressed, and my moods have been everywhere, particularly bad since my son's birthday is coming up. The counselor gave me the option of going to a support group for abuse victims/survivors, gave me the dates and times, and set up another one on one appointment for us this week.
So Monday I went to my first group therapy session, talked with many other women like myself, and ended up overwhelmed by their pain, added to my own. It is a very emotional, and very difficult, thing to do, walking into a room full of strangers and telling them that you let a man abuse you. This was the start of a very long night.
When I got home, after having stopped on the way to throw up (stress does that to me), and having cried for around an hour after getting home, I talked to several friends. One of them is a fairly new friend of mine, at least in Real Time, as we've been kind of chatting online for a while now. It turned out that she knew where I was coming from, with my past abuse, and with the loss of my child, and was willing to help. She was not only willing, but wanted to help me find a job, get an apartment, get a lawyer, and get my son back. She even offered to drive me to Alabama to see my baby.
When Sir got home from work, we sat down and had a very long talk. We've been trying to get into Job Corps now since about the beginning of January, and as some of you know, they've been jerking us around. Now remember what I said about why I chose to go to Job Corps. It is not the same reason that he chose to go. He wants to get into a new line of work, and for that needs training. He feels Job Corps is the way to go with that. So we talked. And we talked.. And we talked. For hours.
We decided that right now, it would not be healthy for me to leave the solid support base that I have built here. Friends, people I now consider family, my support groups, and my one on one counseling, are very important - we both agreed - to the healing process. We also agreed that it would look better for me in the custody hearing if I did not make yet another big move so soon, and if I was paying my own rent, bills, etc.
So now, I am staying in Louisville, the first place I've ever lived to truly feel like home to me, and the only place I've ever lived that I actually feel physically ill at the thought of leaving. I've got an interview with a staffing agency lined up, have another one to call tomorrow, and will be stopping by yet another one today. I'm also looking into efficiency rooms, in case Sir leaves before I've saved enough to get an apartment, but as a backup, I've got several people saying I can stay with them until I've got enough. I've got my resume out at at least 30 - 40 places, and am hoping for a call.
No, we are not breaking up, we're not calling off the wedding. We're just taking separate paths to improve our individual lives, so that in about a year or so, when he's done with job corps, our life together can be better.
I know, it got long and I said I'd try to keep it short, but there it is. Thank you for bearing with me, and for reading. I would appreciate comments or advice, if you've got it.
As many of you know, I came out of an abusive marriage last year, and recently applied to go back to Job Corps. I decided to go to Job Corps because the economy here hasn't been the greatest, so it's been rather difficult to find a job.
However, this week, things have changed. Thursday, I went to my first counseling session. I've been feeling really depressed, and my moods have been everywhere, particularly bad since my son's birthday is coming up. The counselor gave me the option of going to a support group for abuse victims/survivors, gave me the dates and times, and set up another one on one appointment for us this week.
So Monday I went to my first group therapy session, talked with many other women like myself, and ended up overwhelmed by their pain, added to my own. It is a very emotional, and very difficult, thing to do, walking into a room full of strangers and telling them that you let a man abuse you. This was the start of a very long night.
When I got home, after having stopped on the way to throw up (stress does that to me), and having cried for around an hour after getting home, I talked to several friends. One of them is a fairly new friend of mine, at least in Real Time, as we've been kind of chatting online for a while now. It turned out that she knew where I was coming from, with my past abuse, and with the loss of my child, and was willing to help. She was not only willing, but wanted to help me find a job, get an apartment, get a lawyer, and get my son back. She even offered to drive me to Alabama to see my baby.
When Sir got home from work, we sat down and had a very long talk. We've been trying to get into Job Corps now since about the beginning of January, and as some of you know, they've been jerking us around. Now remember what I said about why I chose to go to Job Corps. It is not the same reason that he chose to go. He wants to get into a new line of work, and for that needs training. He feels Job Corps is the way to go with that. So we talked. And we talked.. And we talked. For hours.
We decided that right now, it would not be healthy for me to leave the solid support base that I have built here. Friends, people I now consider family, my support groups, and my one on one counseling, are very important - we both agreed - to the healing process. We also agreed that it would look better for me in the custody hearing if I did not make yet another big move so soon, and if I was paying my own rent, bills, etc.
So now, I am staying in Louisville, the first place I've ever lived to truly feel like home to me, and the only place I've ever lived that I actually feel physically ill at the thought of leaving. I've got an interview with a staffing agency lined up, have another one to call tomorrow, and will be stopping by yet another one today. I'm also looking into efficiency rooms, in case Sir leaves before I've saved enough to get an apartment, but as a backup, I've got several people saying I can stay with them until I've got enough. I've got my resume out at at least 30 - 40 places, and am hoping for a call.
No, we are not breaking up, we're not calling off the wedding. We're just taking separate paths to improve our individual lives, so that in about a year or so, when he's done with job corps, our life together can be better.
I know, it got long and I said I'd try to keep it short, but there it is. Thank you for bearing with me, and for reading. I would appreciate comments or advice, if you've got it.
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