Surefire Way to Piss a Mother Off

[Seraph]

First off, sorry for the language. I'm very, very, extremely angry right now. Furious. Livid.

....I never thought this would happen.

My daughter came home from school yesterday and was acting very strangely. Wouldn't really talk to me. I finally got her to open up, and she starts off by getting upset and begging me not to be mad at her. WTF. She then starts to tell me that she got into "trouble on the playground". Odd, I wasn't sent home a note or anything, she even got a "green apple" for behaving well.

....Wasn't her.

Turns out, one of the boys from her class took her to the side and....told/forced her to do something that is only in adult movies. The teacher's assistant, who was "monitoring" the recess....saw this, and ran over screaming "that yucky, stop it, put it down, you don't want to taste that." The boy tried to get her to continue, but the teacher intervened.

Shocking already, right? Second point of fact, this is a KINDERGARTEN class. My daughter was sexually assaulted by a 5 year old boy. Third horrific thing?

The teacher's assistant did not report the incident.

That's right. She just separated him from her, and that was that. She did not write us about it, did not notify the police on campus, did not notify the CPS or the school office....NOTHING.

I am absolutely on the verge of going berserk and just murdering this woman. How DARE she? The hell kind of person goes "oh jeez, he just did that to a little girl, I think I'll just try and keep quiet about it."

We went straight to the principal's office this morning to discuss it. He was about as pissed as we were, and is going to investigate just what kind of moron would let something like this slip past.

I brought her back to class (after demanding that the boy be removed from it today), and when I brought her in, her teacher came up and asked what was going on. Guess what? She hadn't heard about the incident either? And when I finished telling her?

"Oh no....not again...."

AGAIN?! She informed me that this has happened SEVERAL TIMES NOW. How the HELL has CPS not been called on this kid's home yet? Why the FUDGE is he still in the class after all of this?!

I hit my edge of sanity there. Up until then, I've managed to remain calm and polite, while firm. As soon as she told me that, I snapped. I'm going to still keep the meeting this afternoon, but I'm going to demand that the police be notified of this incident, and that CPS investigate this child's home. I also will ask that the teacher's assistant who failed so absolutely gloriously have her head provided to me on a silver platter. Okay, maybe not that, but seriously, she should not have that job if she's going to fail to report incidents like this.

Absolutely, absolutely, angry to the point that I went and punched a pillow for so long that all the stuffing is now out of it.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Aren't teachers supposed to have a professional, if not legal, obligation to tell the authorities about that kind of thing?

Yeah, it's possible the kid is just way too precocious for his age. But it's also possible he's being sexually assaulted himself at home.

[Seraph]

Yes, yes they do. It's literally a crime to leave an incident like this unreported, so in all likelyhood charges might be brought against her for failing to report this and the other incidents.

It's very, very possible he is also being molested. Which is why I want CPS all over them like white on rice. The only way this kid learned what he did was a) from watching an adult do it, b) having it done to him, or c) someone's letting him watch pornography.

[Kanalah]

I'm right there with you Seraph.

My daughter is autistic and mostly non-verbal and if there was even an inkling of something not-kosher going on, I'd yank her out of school and be following up legally if I needed to, or otherwise. You do not mess with my kidlets.

I'm amazed you can still form a coherant sentance at this point, honestly.

[Kara]

I want to say something... but I just can't find the words. This is beyond fucked up.

The assistant needs to be fired. Plain and simple. And she most likely will, because most states REQUIRE that doctors AND teachers report any suspected abuse.

I just... yeah, if it were my daughter I'd be out for blood.

[Elspeth]

wait what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Would you like one of my many swords? I am amazed at your control. I don't have kids and I want to go mamma bear for your daughter.

Here is a giant moose for your little girl and a punching bag for you.

[DaDairyDruid]

Why haven't you called your local news station?

[Geek King]

Why haven't you called your local news station?

Absolutely not until you have tried every possible other way. The news no longer has any morality when it comes to reporting, and Seraph and her daughter would be put through the hell of public opinion trial. Not to mention, the school will likely button up in crisis management mode, making getting anything out of them a federal case--likely literally. The news is a nuclear option at this point.

Seraph, this is an awful situation. I feel terribly that anyone has to go through that, much less a fellow board member. I'm keeping you and yours in my prayers.

[Dilorenzo]

"Not again?" Seriously? "Not again?"

This has happened before and no-one has dealt with this bloody nitwit?

Seraph, I hope your daughter is doing better about all this. And can you let us know which areas of the country to avoid while you're going nuclear?

[Raveni]

Thank goodness your daughter was brave enough and trusted you enough to report it to you. Thank you for raising her well and being a good mother.

[Seshat]

I second what Raveni said.

Now: You're furious. You're absolutely and correctly and validly furious.

But your little girl needs you.

She NEEDS, absolutely NEEDS, total and utter reassurance from you that she is loved, that she did the right thing, that yes, someone is in trouble but it ISN'T HER.

She is going to need that reinforced again and again. She is going to need lots of cuddles and support. And yes, the last thing she needs is the eye of the media on her.

This is where aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends AND counsellors are going to be extremely helpful. You're going to have times when you're busy following up on the 'angry' side, and these other people can help you and support you with the 'comforting/reassuring' side of this situation.

Note that I am in NO WAY advocating letting this slide. Do not let this slide! Some other little girl (or little boy) will suffer if you do.

But make certain that you make special time and effort into caring for your child right now. She needs you.

(Yeah, you're going to be short on time for a while. Sorry 'bout that. )

[Seraph]

I appreciate the support, everyone.

We just got back from the school after another meeting with the principal. Unsurprisingly, the monitor on duty is denying that it happened, but everyone agrees that my daughter's story is way too out of left field to be discounted so easily. No surprise there, now that I've brought it on up, they could very well lose their job/be arrested.

The boy does have a record of exposing himself to other classmates, they have spoken to him regarding this before, and they actually flat out asked him if he did it. His answer was "Definitely not." Rather than just going with that, the principal said that it was odd that he didn't hesitate at all, and that he used that language in replying. He's only 5, so it's odd vocabulary for him to be using. They're going to be checking into it, because it practically "seemed scripted".

The big problem here is that they put my daughter through a series of interviews while we were gone, with her teacher, the guidance counselor, and the principal. Sarah tends to....lock up. When people start pressing her to tell what happened, she kinda retreats and just gives basic answers, won't really elaborate. All they could get out of her was the boy's name, the fact that he exposed himself, and that a teacher yelled at them. Apparently, the guidance counselor gave up trying to find out what happened. Can't blame them, but at the same time its like...she's freaked out, stop badgering her.

We've raised a huge ruckus though, and now we just need to wait and see what the investigation turns up. Will be a while, but at the very least, we've made some waves, and the school has agreed that they will be increasing the supervision.

[Mytical]

I just want to say..everything pretty much has been said by the others. That is just..I have no words.

*offers hugs* Just glad you found out and are putting an end to it. Letting your daughter know that she can come to you regardless of what is going on. That she can talk to you.

[iradney]

I don't know of many 5 years olds that would say "Definitely not". "nuh-uh" "no way" "nope" "no", but "definitely not" is a decidedly adult thing to say.

Also, that monitor should be fired. Stupid @&*^

[Lyse]

The fact that the boy has a known history of doing things that are inappropriate is a huge factor.