Bizarre application questions...

[Sundassa]

What bothers me on those, is that they have questions like 'Do people usually steal supplies from work?' I am a literal, and an honest person, they don't ask if -I- do, they ask if people do, and in general, people are jerks, and yes, -people- do. -I- however don't. I answered the questions once the way they were asked, and realized they never accounted for people like me, who take the question literally, and answer honestly to the literal question...

[Dreamstalker]

I have (somewhere) an answer key to one of the most commonly used tests. On a lot of online applications, the test says "answer as quickly as you can"...I can't think of any reason for 'timing' it (or making applicants think it's being timed) other than to hope people miss one of the duplicate questions.

I find it very interesting that the 'correct' answer for the question "when people treat you badly, you ignore it" is Strongly Agree. And a lot of companies wonder why morale can be/is so freaking low...

[MystyGlyttyr]

Actually, the weirdest question I ever saw on a job application was when I was applying to Sonic, and it was in the middle of a bunch of other questions. Namely: "Can you read?"

I gotta admit, it slowed me down.

[Dreamstalker]

I'd like to say that it was put in there as a 'quality control' thing...but after discovering that one of my coworkers may in fact be illiterate I'm leaning toward probably a serious question.

[ADeMartino]

My suspicious nature goes RED ALERT on tests like these, the electronically-administered ones especially. Many of them are administered by a contracted service and - think about it - all they have to do to make it look like they're actually doing anything is to randomly reject a certain percentage of submitted tests. I mean, really - who's gonna call them on it?

The Double-Red-Alert thingie really goes off when somewhere in the instructions it says 'There is no right or wrong answer.' Really? Then why administer the test?

Maybe I'm paranoid - but in the immortal words of John Caravella - "Everyone IS out to get you - paranoid is just good thinking!"

[Food Lady]

On some true-crime show I used to watch, they mentioned an armored car company that had the question "I have thought about how to rob an armored car", or somesuch on their application eval, and tossed all the applications who answered "no". They figured everyone at least thinks about it, and if you answered no, you weren't being honest.

I have never, ever had the thought cross my mind. I'd answer "no" honestly, and if they don't want a person who won't even lie on a questionnaire, forget 'em. I don't want to work for them, and they don't deserve me. I've been known to quit a job because I was told to lie, and I don't appreciate some company maligning my character via a test question.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I have never, ever had the thought cross my mind. I'd answer "no" honestly, and if they don't want a person who won't even lie on a questionnaire, forget 'em. I don't want to work for them, and they don't deserve me. I've been known to quit a job because I was told to lie, and I don't appreciate some company maligning my character via a test question.

I could have answered "No" honestly because while I have at various times in my life thought about how to commit certain crimes, robbing an armored car is not one of them.

[Sulhythal]

All of a sudden I am reminded of a test I heard about that was along these lines, in SCHOOL, of all places. like, young, elementary level school. I don't remember the exact details but the question was about when you would throw rocks at a window/building/creature

A: whether or not someone was around to see
B: Only if you wouldn't get caught
C: <something>

etc...

However, there was one answer that was missing...there was no option for NOT throwing a rock. they assumed that every child would absolutely throw a rock at some point. As I recall you didn't have the option to skip the question either... You had to answer. Probably scantron so no write-in either...

Self Fulfilling Prophecy?

[Food Lady]

I could have answered "No" honestly because while I have at various times in my life thought about how to commit certain crimes, robbing an armored car is not one of them.

My job uses one of those companies. I couldn't even tell you the name because that's how little attention I pay to it. I just don't have a criminal mind. I do like the show, though.

[Tithera]

Every single time I was completely honest on those evals, I never heard back from companies about the jobs. Granted, I didn't fail the evals, but I'm going with the same thought that if you don't accept people who are honest in the evals, how the hell do you expect to hire honest people? I've done so many of those evals, that instead of the estimated 30-45 minutes they tell you it will take, it seriously takes me maybe ten minutes because they are always the same questions, even the same re-worded questions. It took me picking the answers they seem to want to get a job and that just says loads about their HR people and the program they use online to evaluate them.

[Nurian]

Ugh, I hate, hate, HATE those stupid personality tests! I don't care what the instructions say, I always answer them with what I think they want to hear.

[MoonCat]

Food Lady, I agree with you! I honestly have never thought about robbing an armored truck. I hate questions like that...they set people up to fail the test.

[Ashaela]

Then the huge WTF one: "I understand why some people go on shooting rampages."

Well, especially if it's T/F or Y/N....

"I understand why some people go on shooting rampages because I watch Forensic Files."

"I understand why some people go on shooting rampages because I worked as a federal prison psychologist for fifteen years."

"I understand why some people go on shooting rampages because I stopped taking my mood-levelers."

"I understand why some people go on shooting rampages because I have a heightened sense of empathy."

"I understand why some people go on shooting rampages because it happened down the street from my office six months ago."

"I understand why some people go on shooting rampages because Belkar is my spirit twin."

[Pixilated]

Actually, the weirdest question I ever saw on a job application was when I was applying to Sonic, and it was in the middle of a bunch of other questions. Namely: "Can you read?"

I gotta admit, it slowed me down.

Shame those things are auto-scanned; it would be funny to see an actual human's response to a "No" to that question ... especially if the rest of the test was filled in.

Ugh, I hate, hate, HATE those stupid personality tests! I don't care what the instructions say, I always answer them with what I think they want to hear.

Same here. I will happily BS them with whatever BS is needed to get a job. A company that is dumb enough to think these tests actually tell them anything about an employee deserves no less.

Sulhythal, I found a similar question very recently in an online application/psych test:

In a recent project that you completed, the results were not as good as you wanted because:

1) You didn't have enough time to do it properly
2) You didn't have the correct information
3) Your coworkers didn't do their part
4) Your boss wasn't clear on what was wanted
5) <something that I can't remember but in the same vein as the first 4>

There was literally NO way to answer this that wasn't going to make the responder look bad. It was just a question of how bad you wanted to look. I asked a staff member at the employment centre for help on it, and she just stared at it, completely baffled. We discussed it and finally agreed on what we thought was the least-damaging reply, but really ...

[EricKei]

What bothers me on those, is that they have questions like 'Do people usually steal supplies from work?'

Methinks that they ARE asking if you would -- after all, if you go with the notion that "everybody steals office supplies", then their logic dictates that you would, too -- after all, "Everyone is doing it". Remember, they don't want independent thinkers; they want reasonably intelligent cattle who will go with the flow and do what they're told. Hence, "everyone behaves the same" is exactly what they want, tho, of course, they don't want you to steal ~_~

There is a theory that these sorts of tests are really only meant to weed out people dumb enough to NOT figure them out. Makes sense to me.