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Well, it’s been building for way too long. The short version is that I finished school in the summer, graduated in early fall, and have been stagnating since then. I barely make enough to get by, and the atmosphere has gotten really bad at work. So I put in my notice a while ago and this is my last week at the fabric store. No, I don’t have anything lined up, and yes that’s really scary.
The longer version. I really hate the way policies at my company have become so murky and unenforceable. The company is actively creating SCs. The new hires do not get trained. The SM is not approachable. When anyone asks her a question she is condescending. So nobody asks any questions, they just tell the customer whatever they think is right. Whatever the SM thinks is important is correct, and mentioning anything else will get you a smirking smile and directions to do a less important task. And before anyone says “well, she is the SM, she knows what’s important” let me give an example. She opened the store 15 minutes late one day. That has never happened in the time I’ve worked there. The latest was I think 5 minutes, and that was a Big Deal. Unless there is something seriously wrong, we HAVE to open on time. What happened to make us late opening? She was doing a morning meeting, and didn’t realize (or care?) that our opening cashier had not shown up. A customer had to call the store to complain before she bothered to get the store open.
Still, I’m leaving to find full time work in my field, not because of any one person. I have a little saved, and if I don’t have a job by the time that runs out I will be able to get a loan from my parents. The idea of job interviews is so terrifying as to be almost paralyzing. I know lots of people are able to look for other work while still maintaining their current jobs, but I’m not one of them. When I get home from work, even a half day, I’m completely drained. I watch tv, I play video games. I don’t update my resume, I don’t even look for job postings. I've never left a job without something else lined up. For that matter, my job history is very sad, and I don't have much experience with interviews. I've been on one in my life. But I know I have to do it, and quitting is my way of pushing myself into a corner where I will have to get over my fears and just do it.
I thought I’d feel relieved once I gave notice, but I really don’t. I still dread each shift. I still feel like crap when I get home. So even though I’m freaked out, I know this is what I had to do. I have to get away from that place. New year, fresh start and all that. Anyway, wish me luck, I’ll need it.
The longer version. I really hate the way policies at my company have become so murky and unenforceable. The company is actively creating SCs. The new hires do not get trained. The SM is not approachable. When anyone asks her a question she is condescending. So nobody asks any questions, they just tell the customer whatever they think is right. Whatever the SM thinks is important is correct, and mentioning anything else will get you a smirking smile and directions to do a less important task. And before anyone says “well, she is the SM, she knows what’s important” let me give an example. She opened the store 15 minutes late one day. That has never happened in the time I’ve worked there. The latest was I think 5 minutes, and that was a Big Deal. Unless there is something seriously wrong, we HAVE to open on time. What happened to make us late opening? She was doing a morning meeting, and didn’t realize (or care?) that our opening cashier had not shown up. A customer had to call the store to complain before she bothered to get the store open.
Still, I’m leaving to find full time work in my field, not because of any one person. I have a little saved, and if I don’t have a job by the time that runs out I will be able to get a loan from my parents. The idea of job interviews is so terrifying as to be almost paralyzing. I know lots of people are able to look for other work while still maintaining their current jobs, but I’m not one of them. When I get home from work, even a half day, I’m completely drained. I watch tv, I play video games. I don’t update my resume, I don’t even look for job postings. I've never left a job without something else lined up. For that matter, my job history is very sad, and I don't have much experience with interviews. I've been on one in my life. But I know I have to do it, and quitting is my way of pushing myself into a corner where I will have to get over my fears and just do it.
I thought I’d feel relieved once I gave notice, but I really don’t. I still dread each shift. I still feel like crap when I get home. So even though I’m freaked out, I know this is what I had to do. I have to get away from that place. New year, fresh start and all that. Anyway, wish me luck, I’ll need it.
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