I'm not your F**king Mommy!

[HotelMinion]

Alt title: Creepy or typical?

So now I work in a kitchen and a lot of my coworkers there call me MAMA. Mainly the guys do it. I find it creepy, but it turns out the they call ALL the females this. So am I just overreacting or is it creepy? Should I tell them not to call me this because it's weird??
I've worked in other kitchens and they didn't call me this...

[EricKei]

If they're doing it to get under your skin (which is what it sounds like), telling them to knock it off will just encourage them x.x My guess would be that it's been reported to the bosses many times, who have decided to do fuck all about it. If possible, talk to other ladies there about it in private (especially if they bristle at being called that) to see if there's some kind of history behind it.

Consider simply not responding to it in any way whatsoever. If they don't get a rise out of you, hopefully they'll stop.

[Bright_Star]

You have a proper name, they need to call you by that name. Any other names that they insist on calling you by is not only insulting but it can create a hostile working environment. Inform management.

[Mental_Mouse]

That sounds suspiciously like a localism. Perhaps very local -- that is, some alpha male did it as an idiosyncrasy and it caught on. If this is what they call anyone female, well, it's not half as bad as some of the things I've heard of.

And it might let you get away with giving them a mama-style telling-off on other issues. ;-)

[csquared]

If they're doing it to get under your skin (which is what it sounds like),

It is called harassment. The first step in stopping it is to tell them that you do not like and that they are to stop. If they continue to do so, you have grounds to take it to management.

On the other hand, you may want to go for a deeper understanding. Is it a localism as Mental Mouse said? Maybe ethnic? Try asking why they call the women that.

If you don't like the answer, ask them to stop. Maybe suggest that you will call them "Little boy" as you wave your little finger at them.

[HotelMinion]

After thinking about it some more, maybe it's because I don't have children that I find it weird and creepy. THe other ladies do, so they don't mind it. Maybe it's a term of endearment, but I find it also weird that the guys would call me that, I don't even know them!

You have a proper name, they need to call you by that name. Any other names that they insist on calling you by is not only insulting but it can create a hostile working environment. Inform management.

I know right? Just call me by my name!!! :\ It's disrespectful not to.

[Pixelated]

It might be a local custom (??) since they are calling all the females Mama. However, there's also a good possibility that a lot of the other females are fed up with it too. I like the idea of you're telling them "I am NOT your 'Mama'; my name is HotelMinion; please use it."

And then refusing to respond if they don't use your name.

Even if ALL the other women think it's cute, or normal, or whatever, that does not obligate you to do the same.

[Dreamstalker]

That sounds suspiciously like a localism.

A number of the Hispanic employees here (both male and female) use "mama"/"papa" as a general friendly greeting. Not sure if it has to do with age or job seniority...I don't mind; while I didn't grow up with that particular vernacular there was something similar so I'm kinda used to it.

[MoonCat]

It does seem to be a thing with a particular ethnic group. One time I ordered some food to be delivered and the delivery guy was of that ethnicity. After I paid him he thanked me, said "Bye, mama!" and left. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or be weirded out but meh, why get upset in this case?

In YOUR case, yes - ask them to use your name. It may be an "endearment" but I have always believed that endearments have no place in a work setting.

[Slave to the Phone]

I do not respond to anything but my name or Mrs/Ms/Miss. I am not your doll, I am not your dear. I really don't hear other things being said to me because I think they are being said to someone else.

I had a terrible time with that on Saturday. We were doing a murder mystery dinner and I kept forgetting that my name for the night was Kat.

[Seanette]

A number of the Hispanic employees here (both male and female) use "mama"/"papa" as a general friendly greeting. Not sure if it has to do with age or job seniority...I don't mind; while I didn't grow up with that particular vernacular there was something similar so I'm kinda used to it.

At the nail place I go to, most of the staff (if not all) are Vietnamese. They generally address incoming female customers as "mama". Since I've seen this done with all ages, and a lot of the staff are probably close to my own age anyway, I just take it as people whose English is limited doing their best to be friendly and move forward with my day.

[Kit-Ginevra]

That sounds like something from the Deep South where every woman would be Momma or Mama even Cass Elliott who was only about 19....

[Deserted]

I have the exact opposite problem. I really don't want customers I've literally just met calling me by name -- call it a mental tic, but the only info they get from me is my first name (and driver ID number), and I really don't like some person I don't know calling me by my first name.

It's pretty common to call the guy in the front seat "driver" or "cabbie" -- hell, I'll even respond to "hey, you" if I know it's directed at me -- but fer feck's sake, don't say, "Hey Deserted, we're going to..." unless you actually know me.

[khms]

the only info they get from me is my first name (and driver ID number), and I really don't like some person I don't know calling me by my first name.

Seems like a strange mix of US usage and what we do over here. For approximately that reason, over here, it's standard to only use last names until offered usage of first name, or otherwise becoming familiar.

Which makes translated-from-the-US ads somewhat less effective over here than probably expected. Unless they're for the younger generation.

[AnaKhouri]

It wouldn't bother me particularly (maybe because I do have kids, and am from the south where 'honey' and 'dear' are normal-ish forms of address from older people, and also on Teen Titans Go, Beast Boy calls Raven 'mama') but it DOES bother you. I'd suggest you let them know politely that you don't like it. If they continue, refuse to respond until they use your actual name. If they're calling you Mama then you should get to use Mom techniques on them, and refusing to respond is a tried-and-true parenting technique that will work eventually.