Temps say it best!

[blas]

I have officially become the Gravekeeper and/or Kara of training new employees and hearing the dumbest, most mind numbing, most headdesk inspiring quotes and questions ever.........

I've already had a handfull of new temp employees. Here's some funny quotes. I either gave a halfassed answer or none at all to these. What I type as a response is what I was thinking to myself.

"Why does this place suck so damn much?"
- A number of reasons. One would be the high school type cliques of people who are old enough to know better. Two is the flourescent lighting. Three is the general rude attitudes and bitterness in the enviornment that sucks away my soul and life 8 hours a day.

"Do I really have to work all night long?"
- No, go ahead and stop once you reach a certain number. Then see what happens when the supervisor walks in and sees you taking a nap.

"Why can't I swear?"
- Because it's unprofessional and adds to the stereotype we all have of temp employees. We're not going to take you seriously if every other word out of your mouth is fuck and shit and bitch.

"I never had to do this at my old job!"
- And your last job probably had the same problem with the revolving door of employee turnover rate, hiring stupid kids who don't want to work and replacing them with more stupid kids who don't want to work.

"I used to RULE my old job. I got to do whatever I wanted!"
- Then please, go back. Here we have a chain of command and a little thing called respect. You're a temp. You can be fired and replaced at the drop of a hat. So do me a favor, save me some paperwork and wasted time, and get the Hell out please.

[Lady Heather]

Sounds Familiar....

Deja'vu.
That sounds like every Kid my store has fired, and most of the kids that have been applying to the store. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who gets these kinds of questions.
My other favorites include:
If it's damaged we can have it, right?
Can my friends use my employee discount?
I need to have my cell phone! What if my boyfriend calls?
Can I nap in the stock room?
Best one ever: What do you mean 30 min.? It's called a lunch HOUR isn't it?

[Rapscallion]

Funnily enough, we regard temp workers at our place as a very good source of recruitment for permanent staffing. It's how I got in, and I'm now (temporarily) on the board of directors.

Rapscallion

[chops]

Our company does the temp-to-hire thing as well. Basically, once we go through our minimum period with the temp agency, they bring us onto their payroll. Plus, temp workers are much easier to fire if they don't work out.

[TNT]

Most fascinating thing ever said by a temp in my presence... and the trainer's: "If I quit taking LSD, like, last night, like, does that mean I'm drug free today?"

That's a true story.

2nd most fascinating thing: (pulls out a floppy disk) "Can I print some stuff out during lunch?"

I started as a temp when we were SmallCable. Now that we're owned by BigCable, no more temps.

[Bright_Star]

Jeez...kids these days....lol.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I temped once for a couple months.

I. Wanted. To. Die.

Day I quit, I said to my cube-mate "As soon as I finish this cuppa joe, I'm going downstairs and telling B (the temp liason. Guess what the "B" stands for. ) I am quitting this job. I can't take it any more."

So I finish the coffee, put my hands on the desk to get up and the phone rings. I answer it:

"This is J at Public Television. You still want that job you applied for three months ago?"

And that is how I left temping and went to Public Television.

I don't think it was the temping that was so bad per se, it was the place they had me working.

[Jester]

Best one ever: What do you mean 30 min.? It's called a lunch HOUR isn't it?

I have to say, in their defense, 30 minutes for lunch IS ridiculous. Keep in mind, I almost never take breaks at work, even when I work 10-14 hour doubles, and being a restaurant worker, that is 10-14 hours on my FEET.....but if I was working some place that didn't have food, and I had to go get food, and eat, and be back in 30 minutes? I couldn't do it. I eat slow, and that is just nuts.

But yeah, the way they asked that question IS funny.

[Becks]

Jester said what I wanted to.

Jester has stolen my mind. I would like it back, please.

[blas]

I don't want to blame the kids entirely. It's the factory's inabilty to put people where they belong. You CANNOT put hyperactive young adults in an inspection department and force them to sit and look through a scope all night long. You also cannot expect their trainer to play babysitter. I cannot force someone to get a work ethic.

They use temps because it saves money. No need to purchase an insurance policy and yes, they're easier to get rid of temps than direct hires. But DAMN are they just picking random people off the street and just putting them wherever they please. These kids don't have a chance in hell. And with the bitties the way they are, they don't get a chance. I can't stand up for them, because I'm shot down as well with every defense I try to use.

That and I'm starting to think the desperate need for bodies in general at the factory has also caused them to stop making them take the exams and drug tests or skip SOME steps in the hiring process.

[Lady Heather]

Oh Please....

Jester: I have to say, in their defense, 30 minutes for lunch IS ridiculous.

These kids are not working 10-14 hour shifts. We make them work an entire 5 1/2 half hours. Plus the 1/2 hour lunch. The poor things. And they have to walk as entire 2 min. to the foodcourt. 2 min if you window shop the whole way. There was so much whinning I timed it. I just really despise seasonal help.

[Jester]

Lady Heather, I was just saying in general 30 minutes is ridiculous, as I have seen many places give just that for longer shifts.

For a 5.5 hour shift, I don't understand why the little darlings even NEED a break, to be honest, so yeah, they don't get any sympathy from me.

[myswtghst]

RE: 30 minute lunch. I've worked 8 to 12 hour shifts and taken a half hour lunch, just so I can get out of here a half hour earlier, or sleep in an extra half hour!

But yeah, temps and even just the new hires bring in some of the funniest questions/comments.

[ForestDragon]

Eight hour lunch?! I take it that means you were grazing the whole day?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

RE: 30 minute lunch. I've worked 8 to 12 hour shifts and taken an 8 hour lunch, just so I can get out of here a half hour earlier, or sleep in an extra half hour!

8 hour lunch? Reminds me of some of my managers!