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So today is the day. Might not be a good day, as PMS is running rampant and I'm admittedly already spoiling for a fight. But I've had it. Today I will tell the boss that if this company is serious about making me manager of the store when he retires then I need to hear something from them before the next two weeks are up. If I don't, then the two weeks that I'm currently on schedule will be my last two weeks.
I quite simply can not afford to wait on them any longer, to wait around on a "maybe" that I'm becoming more convinced is just a carrot on a stick. It was back in Aug when he first approached me w/ the idea of me becoming manager when he retired. If this was real, if this wasn't just a way to make sure he had me around to lighten the load on him his last few months, then I should have heard something from someone by now. Training is, to put it mildly, a joke. It consists of me digging through drawers and reading manuals and asking questions I hope he can answer. Don't get me wrong, my boss is good at what he does. Our store has good numbers, not always sales, but the things that he can control are always good. But he doesn't do a lot of the paperwork, his wife does it. And wifey seems a bit proprietorial about the whole thing. I've had one session where she stood there and pointed to things and told me this and that and this and that. Yeah, that really helped a lot.
I feel like there's a lot of things he's expecting me to do, but 1) I don't know how to do them because training is non-existant and 2) I really feel like I'm already doing quite enough of his job for my shitty hourly wage. The whole situation is about to drive me out of my mind, I simply cannot take the stress of not knowing any longer. I'd rather give notice and go out looking for another job. Even if I end up flipping burgers on the night shift somewhere, I'd be making more than I am now and wouldn't have the responsibility that I'm carrying. I don't mind the responsibility in and of itself, but I do mind it when I'm not getting paid a fair price to do it. I'm sick of working every weekend, sick of being there open to close, sick of the whole damned thing. And I had such high hopes just a few months ago.
Bossman is not the most "gracious" of people, and as I said, I'm already in a foul mood. It will be very hard not to walk today if he says the wrong thing. And a big part of me wants to do just that, throw up my hands and get out. But a bigger part really likes the ladies that I work with, and I would hate myself for leaving them in a lurch right at Christmas.
I'd like to think it will be a defining day, that I will know, one way or another, by the time I get home, something, anything. But I just don't have any faith in that, not anymore. I'm not sure if it's him or up the ladder, I'm really not, and that doesn't help how I feel about the situation. I really expect I'll come home and be just as much in limbo as I am right now. Quite likely will be that way for the next two weeks. Merry freaking Christmas. But I'll hold on, and see what happens over that two weeks. Then I'm through.
I really feel like God guided me back to the store. And when Daddy got sick, well, I couldn't have been in a better place. If Mom needed me, all I had to do was say so, and it was ok. A lot of places that wouldn't have been possible. And the emotional support, from everyone, made a world of difference. And I know that Bossman needed me, maybe I was an answer to his prayer as well. He was really short handed and having someone come back who just needed refreshing on some things, learn the things that had changed, someone he knew was honest and could be trusted, well that had to be a blessing for him as well. I may not have taken his whole load these last months of his career, but I've certainly made it lighter.
I'm just going to trust God to lead me the way I need to go, and if this isn't it, that I will find out now and get to move on. At this point, I simply don't know what else to do.
I quite simply can not afford to wait on them any longer, to wait around on a "maybe" that I'm becoming more convinced is just a carrot on a stick. It was back in Aug when he first approached me w/ the idea of me becoming manager when he retired. If this was real, if this wasn't just a way to make sure he had me around to lighten the load on him his last few months, then I should have heard something from someone by now. Training is, to put it mildly, a joke. It consists of me digging through drawers and reading manuals and asking questions I hope he can answer. Don't get me wrong, my boss is good at what he does. Our store has good numbers, not always sales, but the things that he can control are always good. But he doesn't do a lot of the paperwork, his wife does it. And wifey seems a bit proprietorial about the whole thing. I've had one session where she stood there and pointed to things and told me this and that and this and that. Yeah, that really helped a lot.
I feel like there's a lot of things he's expecting me to do, but 1) I don't know how to do them because training is non-existant and 2) I really feel like I'm already doing quite enough of his job for my shitty hourly wage. The whole situation is about to drive me out of my mind, I simply cannot take the stress of not knowing any longer. I'd rather give notice and go out looking for another job. Even if I end up flipping burgers on the night shift somewhere, I'd be making more than I am now and wouldn't have the responsibility that I'm carrying. I don't mind the responsibility in and of itself, but I do mind it when I'm not getting paid a fair price to do it. I'm sick of working every weekend, sick of being there open to close, sick of the whole damned thing. And I had such high hopes just a few months ago.
Bossman is not the most "gracious" of people, and as I said, I'm already in a foul mood. It will be very hard not to walk today if he says the wrong thing. And a big part of me wants to do just that, throw up my hands and get out. But a bigger part really likes the ladies that I work with, and I would hate myself for leaving them in a lurch right at Christmas.
I'd like to think it will be a defining day, that I will know, one way or another, by the time I get home, something, anything. But I just don't have any faith in that, not anymore. I'm not sure if it's him or up the ladder, I'm really not, and that doesn't help how I feel about the situation. I really expect I'll come home and be just as much in limbo as I am right now. Quite likely will be that way for the next two weeks. Merry freaking Christmas. But I'll hold on, and see what happens over that two weeks. Then I'm through.
I really feel like God guided me back to the store. And when Daddy got sick, well, I couldn't have been in a better place. If Mom needed me, all I had to do was say so, and it was ok. A lot of places that wouldn't have been possible. And the emotional support, from everyone, made a world of difference. And I know that Bossman needed me, maybe I was an answer to his prayer as well. He was really short handed and having someone come back who just needed refreshing on some things, learn the things that had changed, someone he knew was honest and could be trusted, well that had to be a blessing for him as well. I may not have taken his whole load these last months of his career, but I've certainly made it lighter.
I'm just going to trust God to lead me the way I need to go, and if this isn't it, that I will find out now and get to move on. At this point, I simply don't know what else to do.
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