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  • #1

    I am Rain Man

    Today I had to prove that I know how to count fecal coliforms in a petri dish. What happens is that one of the lab ladies grows a culture and then counts the fecals ahead of time. Then we (the operators that are lab certified) have to come in and count them. We have to do this every month.

    I was in the lab while she was counting them. As she was, I looked over her shoulder and said "21." That took me about .005 of a second. I went back to what I was doing. A few minutes later, she asks me to come in and count them.

    "No need" I said. "21."
    She looked at me and said "Are you sure?"
    "Yeppers. 21."

    She gives me another odd look and said "Wow. You were close. It was 20."

    "Count again." I told her.
    "I counted twice. There are 20." she said
    "Count again."

    I took the petri dish and counted them for her. Sure enough, she missed one. There were 21 fecals in the dish.

    Amazing, huh? I counted 21 fecals, about the size of the period at the end of this sentence, in less time than it takes to blink.

    I wish I could use that power for good. Just think of the changes I could bring the world.

    Also.. wasn't this the most exciting story you've read here in a long time? I love posting these exciting stories.
    Age and wisdom don't necessarily go together. Some people just become stupid with more authority.

    "Who put the goat in there? The yellow goat I ate."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Okay.... Please explain to me what a "fecal" is... cause I'm sitting here thinking you're counting poo.
    GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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    • #3
      I think its bacteria that is found in fecal material, perhaps?
      A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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      • #4
        OOoooOOOO! Counting colonies!

        I get to do that as well. Though no where near as often as weekly.

        Do you get to work with the flourescing ones? While I find the fact that they glow under certain types of black light, I can only do it for about 2 hours before it starts inducing a migraine in me.

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        • #5
          I'm guessing Knightmare was really counting colonies of bacteria. Each colony is descended from a single bacterium so you can easily extrapolate how many bacteria were in the original sample by counting them. Plus you can SEE colonies; indiviual bacteria are rather small, even with a microscope they are pretty hard to see.

          Bonus microbiology groaner

          Q: What do bacteria like to do on Saturday night?

          A: Get looped and go streaking.
          The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

          The stupid is strong with this one.

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Dips View Post
            Q: What do bacteria like to do on Saturday night?

            A: Get looped and go streaking.
            ROTFL. Is is so wrong that I think this is hillarious?

            btw, knightmare, wanna be my microbio lab partner?
            Our brains are smarter than we think they am!

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            • #7
              Back when I had to count the cigarettes for inventory every night I could do the same thing with them. Just pull the shelf out, glance down the length, done. For 8 shelves, each of which could hold 200 packs.

              They got recounted in the morning after being locked up all night in the closed store. (suspicious of internal theft much?) I was never off in my counts. But I did have the one supervisor who saw how I did my count and insisted I do it 'her way'. Which consisted of taking my pen, tapping each pack individually and counting out loud. This process takes a ridiculously long time when I've just restocked all the shelves to bursting. She stood behind me and counted with me and verified the counts, just waiting to catch me in an error. Guess who counted them right the first time?

              I hated working with her because she'd do this every time, even though there was never a problem with my counts. Sorry I'm more Aspergers than you?

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              • #8
                99 fecal coliforms in a petri dish on the wall, 99 fecal coliforms in a petri dish.
                Take one down and pass it around, 98 fecal coliforms in a petri dish on the wall.

                "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth tollbaby View Post
                  Okay.... Please explain to me what a "fecal" is... cause I'm sitting here thinking you're counting poo.
                  Yes, yes he is counting poo.

                  Quoth Dips View Post
                  Q: What do bacteria like to do on Saturday night?

                  A: Get looped and go streaking.
                  Rule #1! I've not had micro since 1976, but I still got it, and love it!

                  Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                  99 fecal coliforms in a petri dish on the wall, 99 fecal coliforms in a petri dish.
                  Take one down and pass it around, 98 fecal coliforms in a petri dish on the wall.
                  umm...can I pass on partaking? We have shigella going around the town right now, and nobody has been able to pinpoint the source, but (at least) 3 little kids and 1 old man have already died from it
                  Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

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