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  • #1

    Dear Colony

    Dear Colony Hh,

    Talk to me, or at least wave your antennae at me, what went wrong?

    You were thriving like the introduced invasive you are, but now you're not. Is it becuase you went through a population bottleneck and now your family tree grows inward?

    Please believe me, as soon as your wild brethren start flying about, we will be introducing a few of them to the cage.

    In the meantime; HAVE SEX ALREADY! Pursue the biological imperitive to pass your DNA on to the next generation!

    Do you not like the music I play in the lab? Should I change it to something more conducive to amourous activities? Would alcohol help lower your inhibitions?

    I would like to point out that the other colonies you share the incubator with do not suffer from your inhibitions. Perhaps you could learn from them?

    Sincerely,
    Your Saddened Lab Tech
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Igorina View Post
    You were thriving like the introduced invasive you are, but now you're not. Is it becuase you went through a population bottleneck and now your family tree grows inward?
    Inbred sex leads to insects.

    *ducks and runs*
    "If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton

    "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

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    • #3
      Quoth Sylvia727 View Post
      Inbred sex leads to insects.

      *ducks and runs*


      Bwaaaawhwhwhahahahahah.

      That just made my night.
      Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

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      • #4
        LOL! That's brilliant.
        Have you considered showing them insect porn?
        The report button - not just for decoration

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        • #5
          I work in a chemical lab, I spend a lot time talking to my analytical instruments, I find that they have almost human personalities. (yes I'm crazy, and the rotating 12 hr shifts have fried my brain ) I find that cursing and hitting the instruments gets me no where, but if I stay calm and tell the misbehaving X-Ray, "Please work I really need the results, I have to eat sometime tonight", it's more coorprative (sp?)


          Maybe your colony needs a sex therapist to work out their problems.

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          • #6
            Or a combination of LabCat and iradney's ideas which would be get them one of those sex therapists from the porn videos....
            "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall

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            • #7
              Have you tried getting them real drunk and then playing "Let's Get It On"?
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • #8
                Quoth iradney View Post
                Have you considered showing them insect porn?
                "The Fly" is porn now?

                Or were you thinking something even more Kafka-esque?
                Seshat's self-help guide:
                1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                • #9
                  I passed your suggestions onto my boss.

                  She said that the presence of two other breeding colonies also in clear plastic cages in the incubator meant that Colony Hh had all the porn they could stomach.

                  So no *Bomp chicka wow-wow* DVDs for the li'l darlings.

                  Apparently the budget won't stretch for a sexpert, or sex therapist, either.

                  I do talk to the colony, I coo and cajole but to no avail. However LabCat, I must agree with you about talking to finicky machinery.

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                  • #10
                    Oooh ooh! What about an insect prom night? Get them to wear dresses and corsages, and give them cars where they can do it in the backseat!

                    Sorry
                    I had sugar this morning
                    SQUEEE!!!
                    The report button - not just for decoration

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                    • #11
                      Or tell them they can't really loudly....that always seems to have the opposite affect on kids anyway.
                      "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall

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                      • #12
                        Maybe pour a little Spanish Fly into the dish with them?
                        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                        Hoc spatio locantur.

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                        • #13
                          Hee. I had a colleage in the research lab who preferred threats over cajoling when his cell cultures wouldn't grow. He'd show 'em the autoclave.
                          The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                          The stupid is strong with this one.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Dips View Post
                            Hee. I had a colleage in the research lab who preferred threats over cajoling when his cell cultures wouldn't grow. He'd show 'em the autoclave.
                            Hmmm....the Autoclave of Doom would melt the cage as well as the insects...Maybe I could threaten them with the -80C freezer?

                            *Plots*

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Geek King View Post
                              Maybe pour a little Spanish Fly into the dish with them?
                              Ok, that is all kinds of not right.

                              I love it!

                              ^-.-^
                              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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