I have been working in the restaurant industry for 22 years now. In all that time, I don't think I have ever seen one person get an entire staff against them almost immediately. Perhaps not even a new manager trying to prove themselves, but definitely not a regular staff member. Until now.
Meet The One.
The One started at The Bar a few weeks ago, and almost immediately, pissed everyone off. And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Even the nice people who normally don't get pissed off. Hell, his nickname of "The One" was given to him by one of the nicest people I work with, Nice Guy Eddie. Eddie gets ticked off by just about no one, but early on, he realized what an utter ass The One was, and considering how much everyone else hated him, came out with the classic nickname. As in, "Who are you working with tonight?" "The One." "Oh, gee, sorry about that."
So what made The One so horrible? Let's see, first of all, he is arrogant. And yeah, I know, there are a lot of arrogant people out there. I have worked with many. But at least usually, the arrogant people can back it up by being competent.
The One is incompetent. My niece could probably wait tables around him. He is not that quick, not that efficient, and not always good with guests. Sure, a lot of people are incompetent. But at least a lot of them make an effort to do better.
Not The One. He is lazy, and really makes little effort to do any work. I often will help out coworkers, and clean up their section if I am not busy, to help them out, but The One so irritated me on so many levels, that I stopped doing that, other than to make The Bar look decent. Hell, one time when I was bartending on the roof deck with him and another server, while we were cleaning up our various stations from the night, he was flirting with his last table. And flirting for a long time. Fine, whatever. But then he came over to us and asked if either of us had cleaned his tables, none of which he had wiped yet. No, we hadn't.
How about punctual? Well, The One often claimed he was "never late." This phrase first came out when he was almost an hour late on one of his first days because he had locked his keys in his car. Despite the fact that, by his own admission, with his car that was virtually impossible. So, did this guy, who was "never late," call when he realized he would, in fact, be late to one of his first shifts at his new job? No, of course not. We didn't even know he was live until the manager called him and he explained what was happening.
But that was the only time, right? After all, he was "never late." Well, let's see. I guess he was never late, if you define being on time as being in the building, eating, reading the paper, and not even being dressed in uniform and on the floor until 10-15 minutes into his shift.
Certainly he must have kissed the managers' asses but good, right? Well, no. Actually, he kind of flaunted the rules to a ridiculous extent at times. For instance, oftentimes staff will come in earlier than their scheduled time, order food at the bar, eat it, clock in, and have the bartender transfer their food order to them. That is pretty much standard, no big deal. One day, he came in early, clocked in, ordered his own food, and sat down at the bar and started eating it. While on the clock. And I am not talking about working his shift and eating in the back while he was working. I am talking about sitting at the bar, out of uniform, reading the paper, and eating his dinner, all while on the clock. Needless to say, when this was pointed out to the manager, his actions were "corrected."
You would think this would be it. Sadly, you would be mistaken. After all, this is The One. He is also a racist sexist asshole. More than once, he said to me about a table something to the effect of "fucking beaners" or "fucking spics." I don't take that shit lightly, and was somewhat offended. Another time, referring to one of my friends, he asked me "is she that fat bitch?" I gave him the Icey Glare of Death and told him to watch his fucking mouth when he was talking about my friends. He could not understand what my problem was.
He is a liar. His story is that he is down here in Key West, working at a restaurant, but he is also a consultant to big businesses up in New York City, and has a ridiculously priced apartment up there that he has to keep to keep his consulting business going. I wouldn't consult this guy on how to wipe my ass....I have serious trouble believing business honchos would seek his "expertise" in any way. The entire staff was actually in complete agreement on not believing this story to be a complete load of bullshit.
He may be a thief, too. On a couple of occasions, management thought he might be drinking on the job, and on at least one occasion, he came to the bartender to ask for drinks that the bartender did not have a ticket for. Figuring he'd ring it in shortly, the bartender gave him said drinks, but knowing what an ass The One is, said bartender (not me) alerted the manager to the situation, and of course, The One didn't have said drinks on any of his tabs. Claimed he had "forgotten" to ring them in. This was interesting to the manager, who believed they smelled alcohol on The One's breath. (NOTE: Yes, we can drink while working at The Bar from time to time, but that is only with the manager's approval, and generally speaking, that is when a customer or the management is buying us said drinks. Stealing drinks is not considered to be quite in line with the above policy.)
How bad was this guy? Well, on a shift he had during his first week, another bartender came up to me and said, "I swear I'm going to kill that fucker in his sleep." I looked at her, laughed, and said, "Well, for once we agree on something....but I wouldn't wait until he was asleep!" On more than one occasion, staff would, while checking their schedule, look at not only the times but also to see if they were working with The One. I myself would note it in my phone where I enter my work schedule. This was the only guy we would do this with. At one point one of the staff asked a manager, "How did this guy slip through the interview process?!?!?!" The manager couldn't answer, but chances are he gave a good interview. Hell, the very FIRST shift I worked with him, he seemed fine enough.
And it's not like the guy's stupid. I think we could have all given him some leeway if he was just a blithering idiot. He's reasonably intelligent. He is just a lazy, incompetent, arrogant, boorish asshole.
So, why hasn't management fired The One? Well, The One fired himself. A few days ago, while bartending, I answered the phone, and it was The One.
THE ONE: "Hey Jester, can you tell Rockin' Manager that I am going to be eight minutes late, but I am on my way?"
JESTER: "Wait, aren't you the guy that said you are never late?" (I couldn't resist!)
THE ONE: "Oh, you're gonna be like that, huh?"
JESTER: "Like what? Just repeating your own words. So, did you want me to tell Rockin Manager this, or would you like to hold while I find her?"
THE ONE: "Oh, you want to play games with me?"
JESTER: "Um, not playing games. It was a simple question."
THE ONE: "I'll be there in a few minutes. Just calling to let her know I'm on my way."
I had no idea that it was already time for him to be there. I really didn't know what time it was at all, so for once, I wasn't being a smartass. Well, other than the part about throwing his own words back in his face.
Interestingly, The One sounded somewhat inebriated to me over the phone. So of course I passed along the message to Rockin' Manager, and also told her my impression of The One as possibly being drunk.
Well, when The One finally arrived (about 20 minutes late, not 8), he seemed a bit out of it, either drunk or on drugs, and it was not just my opinion. He asked me for some drinks he had "rung in," but knowing his reputation, I told him I hadn't gotten a ticket yet. (I hadn't.) He stormed off, apparently to see why his tickets weren't coming through.
Well, it seems the genius had clocked in under training mode, so of course everything he had rung in had gone nowhere, as training tickets don't "exist," they are just within the system for training purposes, so new staff can practice ringing stuff in, closing out tickets, etc. This despite the fact that he had been there a month or so and such a thing should have been relatively obvious.
Anyway, apparently he starts freaking out. Rockin' Manager tries to help him and fix the problem (it's not like we were monstrously busy), but he was having issues. According to her, he seemed fucked up on something, either drunk or on drugs. Apparently it all finally got to him, as he threw up his hands and started heading for the door. Rockin' Manager was having none of this. "Don't you dare! Get back here! If you want to walk out, that's one thing, but you are NOT walking out of here without telling me what each table ordered!" He gave her said specifics, and then walked out of our lives, essentially firing himself.
All agreed that the next few days seemed more peaceful, tranquil, quiet, and stress-free with The One no longer a part of our lives. None of the staff have seen or heard from The One since, and frankly, we are all much happier that way. In all of our collective times in the industry, not one of us can ever remember a single person that so completely turned an entire staff against them so completely. That, my friends, takes talent.
That takes The One.
Meet The One.
The One started at The Bar a few weeks ago, and almost immediately, pissed everyone off. And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Even the nice people who normally don't get pissed off. Hell, his nickname of "The One" was given to him by one of the nicest people I work with, Nice Guy Eddie. Eddie gets ticked off by just about no one, but early on, he realized what an utter ass The One was, and considering how much everyone else hated him, came out with the classic nickname. As in, "Who are you working with tonight?" "The One." "Oh, gee, sorry about that."
So what made The One so horrible? Let's see, first of all, he is arrogant. And yeah, I know, there are a lot of arrogant people out there. I have worked with many. But at least usually, the arrogant people can back it up by being competent.
The One is incompetent. My niece could probably wait tables around him. He is not that quick, not that efficient, and not always good with guests. Sure, a lot of people are incompetent. But at least a lot of them make an effort to do better.
Not The One. He is lazy, and really makes little effort to do any work. I often will help out coworkers, and clean up their section if I am not busy, to help them out, but The One so irritated me on so many levels, that I stopped doing that, other than to make The Bar look decent. Hell, one time when I was bartending on the roof deck with him and another server, while we were cleaning up our various stations from the night, he was flirting with his last table. And flirting for a long time. Fine, whatever. But then he came over to us and asked if either of us had cleaned his tables, none of which he had wiped yet. No, we hadn't.
How about punctual? Well, The One often claimed he was "never late." This phrase first came out when he was almost an hour late on one of his first days because he had locked his keys in his car. Despite the fact that, by his own admission, with his car that was virtually impossible. So, did this guy, who was "never late," call when he realized he would, in fact, be late to one of his first shifts at his new job? No, of course not. We didn't even know he was live until the manager called him and he explained what was happening.
But that was the only time, right? After all, he was "never late." Well, let's see. I guess he was never late, if you define being on time as being in the building, eating, reading the paper, and not even being dressed in uniform and on the floor until 10-15 minutes into his shift.
Certainly he must have kissed the managers' asses but good, right? Well, no. Actually, he kind of flaunted the rules to a ridiculous extent at times. For instance, oftentimes staff will come in earlier than their scheduled time, order food at the bar, eat it, clock in, and have the bartender transfer their food order to them. That is pretty much standard, no big deal. One day, he came in early, clocked in, ordered his own food, and sat down at the bar and started eating it. While on the clock. And I am not talking about working his shift and eating in the back while he was working. I am talking about sitting at the bar, out of uniform, reading the paper, and eating his dinner, all while on the clock. Needless to say, when this was pointed out to the manager, his actions were "corrected."
You would think this would be it. Sadly, you would be mistaken. After all, this is The One. He is also a racist sexist asshole. More than once, he said to me about a table something to the effect of "fucking beaners" or "fucking spics." I don't take that shit lightly, and was somewhat offended. Another time, referring to one of my friends, he asked me "is she that fat bitch?" I gave him the Icey Glare of Death and told him to watch his fucking mouth when he was talking about my friends. He could not understand what my problem was.
He is a liar. His story is that he is down here in Key West, working at a restaurant, but he is also a consultant to big businesses up in New York City, and has a ridiculously priced apartment up there that he has to keep to keep his consulting business going. I wouldn't consult this guy on how to wipe my ass....I have serious trouble believing business honchos would seek his "expertise" in any way. The entire staff was actually in complete agreement on not believing this story to be a complete load of bullshit.
He may be a thief, too. On a couple of occasions, management thought he might be drinking on the job, and on at least one occasion, he came to the bartender to ask for drinks that the bartender did not have a ticket for. Figuring he'd ring it in shortly, the bartender gave him said drinks, but knowing what an ass The One is, said bartender (not me) alerted the manager to the situation, and of course, The One didn't have said drinks on any of his tabs. Claimed he had "forgotten" to ring them in. This was interesting to the manager, who believed they smelled alcohol on The One's breath. (NOTE: Yes, we can drink while working at The Bar from time to time, but that is only with the manager's approval, and generally speaking, that is when a customer or the management is buying us said drinks. Stealing drinks is not considered to be quite in line with the above policy.)
How bad was this guy? Well, on a shift he had during his first week, another bartender came up to me and said, "I swear I'm going to kill that fucker in his sleep." I looked at her, laughed, and said, "Well, for once we agree on something....but I wouldn't wait until he was asleep!" On more than one occasion, staff would, while checking their schedule, look at not only the times but also to see if they were working with The One. I myself would note it in my phone where I enter my work schedule. This was the only guy we would do this with. At one point one of the staff asked a manager, "How did this guy slip through the interview process?!?!?!" The manager couldn't answer, but chances are he gave a good interview. Hell, the very FIRST shift I worked with him, he seemed fine enough.
And it's not like the guy's stupid. I think we could have all given him some leeway if he was just a blithering idiot. He's reasonably intelligent. He is just a lazy, incompetent, arrogant, boorish asshole.
So, why hasn't management fired The One? Well, The One fired himself. A few days ago, while bartending, I answered the phone, and it was The One.
THE ONE: "Hey Jester, can you tell Rockin' Manager that I am going to be eight minutes late, but I am on my way?"
JESTER: "Wait, aren't you the guy that said you are never late?" (I couldn't resist!)
THE ONE: "Oh, you're gonna be like that, huh?"
JESTER: "Like what? Just repeating your own words. So, did you want me to tell Rockin Manager this, or would you like to hold while I find her?"
THE ONE: "Oh, you want to play games with me?"
JESTER: "Um, not playing games. It was a simple question."
THE ONE: "I'll be there in a few minutes. Just calling to let her know I'm on my way."
I had no idea that it was already time for him to be there. I really didn't know what time it was at all, so for once, I wasn't being a smartass. Well, other than the part about throwing his own words back in his face.

Well, when The One finally arrived (about 20 minutes late, not 8), he seemed a bit out of it, either drunk or on drugs, and it was not just my opinion. He asked me for some drinks he had "rung in," but knowing his reputation, I told him I hadn't gotten a ticket yet. (I hadn't.) He stormed off, apparently to see why his tickets weren't coming through.
Well, it seems the genius had clocked in under training mode, so of course everything he had rung in had gone nowhere, as training tickets don't "exist," they are just within the system for training purposes, so new staff can practice ringing stuff in, closing out tickets, etc. This despite the fact that he had been there a month or so and such a thing should have been relatively obvious.
Anyway, apparently he starts freaking out. Rockin' Manager tries to help him and fix the problem (it's not like we were monstrously busy), but he was having issues. According to her, he seemed fucked up on something, either drunk or on drugs. Apparently it all finally got to him, as he threw up his hands and started heading for the door. Rockin' Manager was having none of this. "Don't you dare! Get back here! If you want to walk out, that's one thing, but you are NOT walking out of here without telling me what each table ordered!" He gave her said specifics, and then walked out of our lives, essentially firing himself.
All agreed that the next few days seemed more peaceful, tranquil, quiet, and stress-free with The One no longer a part of our lives. None of the staff have seen or heard from The One since, and frankly, we are all much happier that way. In all of our collective times in the industry, not one of us can ever remember a single person that so completely turned an entire staff against them so completely. That, my friends, takes talent.
That takes The One.
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