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Your Workplace Holiday Party: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
I'm a little embarassed because I've noticed that none of the stories I've read so far are actually about the OPs themselves getting drunk and disorderly at a Christmas party.
Oh well, keep in mind the two stories I'm about to tell took place when I was in my very early 20's. I still liked to party ALOT and had no concept of being sensible enough to stay sober and behave at office parties. These parties also took place enough years ago, before all of the legalites and ethics issues of recent years came to light about booze and a company's responsibility for such.
1. Office party for my very large travel agency. It was held on a fancy bar/restaurant on the Ohio River. Everyone was extremely intoxicated, but I was one of the worst.
My then husband had to practically drag me out of the place when it was time to go home. In order to retreive our car from one of the outer lots, he left me standing on the riverbank, at the end of the ramp that goes across the water and into/out of the restaurant.
From what I can gather, I must have been standing there swaying drunkenly, or attempting to pace around while waiting and and somehow managed to stagger into the river. In my party clothes. In the dead of winter.
Despite my having been a competitive swimmer in high school, I was apparently too intoxicated to fully grasp my dilemma, and flailed around wildly, yelling, even though I was only in waist deep water. This action, of course, got the attention of the few stragglers left at the party, who came out on the deck of the restaurant/boat to check out the commotion. And also to point and laugh hysterically.
2. Holiday party of my (now) ex-husband, just a couple years later. The only thing that saved a bit of embarassment on this one was that my drunken shennanigans took place at the 'afterparty' at his coworkers house.
Apparently I went missing, and was found sitting outside on the floor of the porch, passed out cluching an empty beer can. Their outside cat was also sitting in my lap, resting contentedly.
It doesnt help that a picture was taken of me, capturing the moment for posterity, and for future humiliation.
Well, thats it. Hope you enjoyed. I'm now in my late 30s, divorced and my kids are almost grown. I've almost completely given up my partying lifestyle, and am happy as a clam, but am glad I do have some good memories (unlike the ones above) of my wild party days.
I'm a little embarassed because I've noticed that none of the stories I've read so far are actually about the OPs themselves getting drunk and disorderly at a Christmas party.
Ahem. Um....AHEM!!!
Yeah. You. Now that I've got your attention, I'd like to point out a couple of things from my earlier post. Such as:
I ran into a female friend of mine, fresh out of HER Christmas party, and for some reason, we spent much of the rest of the night making out, something we had never done before, nor since. But it WAS entertaining, to say the least.
I guess I should have mentioned that we were both drunker than your average frathernity during pledge week, but I thought it was obvious from the fact that we were doing something we never had done before and that was completely out of the norm for us. My bad.
But in that same post, I made reference to the drinking itself:
I'm a little embarassed because I've noticed that none of the stories I've read so far are actually about the OPs themselves getting drunk and disorderly at a Christmas party.
Been to a couple; not at present workplace tho, I've learned my lesson. O.o
Country Park: Owner of country park (at the time, anyway; new people own it now) also owned a hotel so New Year party held there, on 8th January so no-one could wriggle out of it. Fancy dress; anyone who showed up in normal clothes had to pay for all their drinks so therefore everyone showed up in fancy dress. I went as a punk rocker, with dyed hot pink hair, a safety pin thru one ear, one black and one red lip, raccoon style eyeliner and punky clothes.
Had a blast, even to having to open my hotel room door (yep, hotel rooms were provided for staff) and shout obscenities at the catering staff who kept running up and down the hallways like demented children. Scandel; Saturday boy who was underage and shouldn't have been drinking anyway got hold of a load of vodka and passed out under a table. He had a total black out, so myself and the head groom decided it would be the best thing to do to tell him he'd made a fool out of himself by mooning the boss and making a pass at his wife. We allowed him to squirm the whole of the next day before coming clean. XD
Garden Centre: No wild parties at all, just a Christmas lunch.
Pizza Place: Bowling alley. Girls vs boys. Girls won, cuz of a curious factoid that the boys got worse and worse the more they drank and the girls got better and better. Boss put tab behind the bar; myself and collegue, let's call her Amy, were doing shots all night with boss on the tab.
No scandel, but next day snotty manager had a go at Amy and I for "abusing the tab". Just cuz no-one else had taken advantage of boss's generous offer meant that we'd abused it. -.- Amy took it upon herself to go and find boss, who drank at her local, and tell him all cuz we were so fed up with manager telling us off. Boss agreed with us and said he'd tell manager off. Manager gave us catbutt face next day, but said nothing.
People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life. My DeviantArt.
My worst Chrissy party experience was a few years ago.
Company hired a large party boat to sail us around Sydney harbour for our party. Food was good and the entertainment was a really funny comedian.
However, I got trapped on the top deck by a collegue who was not dealing well with his recent break up and was drunk and decided to spill it all to me. Spent 40 mins listening to him ramble and cry about his sad life. I almost went over the side of the boat, thats how desperate I was to get away. Yeah it was probably my own fault for not telling him to piss off sooner, but I was too polite and just let him ramble. Luckily, my manager came looking for me and saved me.
The worst part - this guy spent the next couple of months thinking he could just dump all his personal problems on me because I was "such a good listener"
"When did you get a gold plated toilet?"
"We don't have a gold plated toilet"
"Oh dear, I think I just peed in your Tuba"
Christmas party for The Bar is tomorrow night, after my day bar shift. Glad I found out when we are closing, because originally I was going to work, then come home and change, and then go to the party, as I was originally told that we would be closing at 5, and the party was at 8. Well, the party IS at 8, but we won't be closing till 7, so I am taking my clothes with me, leaving them in my truck, and changing after work, rather than driving across town twice, thank you very much.
And yes, I am dressing up for this. Not because I have to--I don't. But because I want to. So few chances to get gussied up in this ultra-casual town, and frankly, I clean up REALLY well.
Sadly, though, this will not result in my getting any action, as every female I work with is either a friend, taken, or not someone I'm attracted to. Or a curious combination of the above.
Haven't decided yet whether to wear a tie or not, but am wearing dress slacks, dress shirt, and dress shoes, for certain.
However, I got trapped on the top deck by a collegue who was not dealing well with his recent break up and was drunk and decided to spill it all to me. Spent 40 mins listening to him ramble and cry about his sad life. I almost went over the side of the boat, thats how desperate I was to get away.
It's times like these that you excuse yourself to the bathroom (who can argue with a full bladder?) and then never go back to where you were trapped.
Last edited by PuckishOne; 12-16-2008, 02:38 PM.
Reason: fixed quote tag
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
If I may indulge in a brief threadjack...if I get a few more folks on board here we can have a CS Crap Bowling Tournament!! Or am I the only one who thinks that sounds like a great way to kill a Friday night? Better than an office Christmas party, if these posts are indication!
I'm actually an awesome bowler....if it's Wii bowling. Real bowling, I see more gutter than Paris Hilton.
In Christmas Party news, tonight is The Bar's Christmas Party, which shortly I'll be dressing up for, because here in Laidback Central, I rarely have a reason or opportunity to dress up. (Still haven't decided if I'm doing a tie, or just slacks and a shirt.)
Amusingly, I texted an attractive female friend to see if she would like to attend my party with me. She would have, it turns out, but it seems the bar she works at is having their party tonight, at the same time. I know, the obvious suggestion was to attend both parties, right? Well, in a normal person's life, that would work. In my life, not so much. What went wrong? Well, apparently she is the ride for her coworker, a homeless older man.
That's right kids--I've been rejected in favor of a homeless man.
I pointed this out to her via text, and she said that it's not like she and he are going as each other's dates. No, I replied, but the effect is the same.
Hilfuckinglarious. :-)
Merry fucking Christmas, right?
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
I've been to several Christmas parties that included many infidelities between co-workers, drunken singing, people passing out, lots of dirty dancing and tons of people just making asses out of themselves. Have I mentioned that I've worked for the government for the past few years?
I work for a different agency and our Christmas party this year was awesome. Lots of booze, lots of drunken singing, but it was a lot of fun because everyone respected everyone else's limits. There were no co-workers going out to the parking lot for quickies. No one threw up outside on their shoes. There wasn't even a heckuva lot of really bad drunken karaoke. It was honestly good, office fun! What can I say? Civil servants are squares!
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
T.S. Eliot
The only Christmas party that really sticks out in my mind was one I was unable to attend. The party was held at a bowling alley, which, despite the fact that I use a wheelchair, was not a problem, as I'm quite content to socialize and watch people bowl.
The problem was that the bowling alley the party was held at is on the lower level of a local shopping center, and, not only is there no elevator, there is no way to get into the place from the lower level. And I wasn't in the mood to bounce down the stairs.
Now, I'm not saying that he party should have been especially planned around me or anything. But, being as how there are about a jillion bowling alleys in town, would it have been so hard to have the party at one of the other ones, all of which are wheelchair accessible?
It was, overall, fun, and I had several (and I do mean several) drinks of an adult nature. Yeah, I know....big surprise there! But it should have been obvious to anyone that once I started in on the straight rum (admittedly wonderful sipping rum, but straight rum nonetheless) it was only a matter of time.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. The Bar closed early Tuesday evening for the Christmas party, which they held on the roof deck. For once, Mother Nature cooperated, and the weather was perfect for such a shindig. Lots of people there, many of my coworkers and their friends/family/SO's who I knew, some that I didn't. Some people dressed up, some didn't. I, of course, did, as I so rarely get a chance to GQ out. And while I looked great--and I did--one of my coworkers outdid me. I was in slacks, shoes, shirt and fantastic tie, but that bastard wore a full suit. Damn it! How dare he out dress me!
The gift exchange was amusing. It was open to whomever wanted to participate (about 20 did) and the way it worked that everyone who did received a raffle ticket with a number. The tickets were drawn randomly, and each person would go up and select a gift from the stage. The kicker was that each time a person went up, they could choose a gift from the stage or, if they preferred, steal one from someone who had already chosen. If that happened, the victim of said theft would then choose again or, if they preferred, steal from someone else. The early few selections, no one stole anything, and that surprised me. My ticket was drawn, and a coworker of mine had gotten a really nice bartender set (shaker, etc.) and I was feeling a little guilty about thinking of stealing it from her. That is, until she said, "Dude, I have three of these. Take it!" I took it. Probably the most amusing gift in said exchange was a live lobster.
Yes. You read that right. Someone put a live lobster in a box and brought it to the party to give to someone randomly. Personally, I thought about stealing it, but I knew I would not have the time Wednesday (yesterday) to cook the bugger up, so I didn't bother. (It was, however, stolen from its original recipient.)
Anyway, after much eating and drinking (and a very unsuccesful game of beer pong in which Little Red and I got our asses--and our livers--handed to us), I decided to wander down to my favorite martini bar several blocks away. For some reason, the guy who had been hitting on Little Red all night, an alright bloke who is just a bit clingy, to say the least, wandered down there with me. WHY I went there, I don't know. WHY Cling Wrap went with me, I don't know. I don't remember him being there, but I was told he was. I do remember seeing my friend The Lord bartending there, which is unusual as he no longer works there (he was filling in), but after that, I remember nothing until I woke up in my own bed, still wearing my dress shirt but not my pants. Sadly, this is not all that uncommon for me.
Took me some time to piece together what happened, but the short version is this: Cling Wrap wandered from the martini bar down to another bar that Little Red was hanging out at--where she happened to be making out with a guy she met at the Christmas party. (GO RED!) Apparently Cling Wrap was not really happy with this development. Oh well....too bad, so sad! Shortly thereafter, I showed up at said bar, drunk out of my mind. (To be fair, almost everyone from the party was drunk out of their mind!) I got Little Red's car keys from her, and went and crashed in her back seat. (What, you didn't think I was driving, did you?) Well, Little Red and her new Boy Toy got in Red's vehicle a while later, and she drove to her place--forgetting that I was there, sleeping in the back seat. When she pulled into her place, she suddenly noticed that, yep, Jester's still back there, passed out. Whoops! So she drove back to my place and let me out, and then went home. Again. And I remember nothing after the martini bar.
AND I had a major hangover the next (long) day at work. But at least I was not alone. Boss Man was suffering from a hangover-induced headache, and I quote, "the size of Wisconsin." D was right there with me, suffering. And while K was supposed to be there, that cowardly pansy lovely young lady begged S to take her shift, as S did not imbibe nearly as much as the rest of us, having only drunk a small lake of booze herself.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
It was in a posh hotel not too far from the cinema. There was a buffet, free booze, karaoke, fancy dress, and non-monetary roulette and blackjack. As well as taxis home and hotel rooms for two lucky couples.
It was all paid for from the fund that acumulates through the year that is a result of our mystery shop results.
Now take 30-odd young people, in their teens and early 20s, add free booze and they will get silly. Several drinks got spilled in the roulette table. One guy, who had a room, was so drunk he needed to puke. He made it to the bathroom in his hotel room, but not the toilet. He puked on the floor, slipped in his own vomit, fell into it and banged his head on the floor.
One supervisor was seen leaving in her car, even though she had been drinking heavily.
The manager who was working the following morning was so hungover that he spent the morning lying on the office floor, groaning loudly.
And finally, the gents' toilets in the hotel were trashed. Fittings pulled off the wall, toilet paper strewn about, a mirror broken.
Personally, I had a couple of beers and left early. And felt smug about not being hung over the next day.
"I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.
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