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We’fe had a few hilarious moments today, but none where I can be bothered to type up an entire thread, so here’s one for several ;
First off, your favourite Tech, Ade, dealing with a customer who’s computer he has just found loaded with more spyware than you care to imagine
Ade: *Approaches the customer* Hiya, Love. I’ve found the problem with your machine. It has a dose of the clap.
Customer: WHAT?! o.o
Ade: Spyware, viruses, malware, all that kinda stuff.
Paul was getting a little bit pissed off with one of the call centre people who had been calling us all day asking for us to basically do their job for them. By now he had them on speaker phone
Branch Call handling: So is there a store number I can give them?
Paul: Yup
Branch Call Handling : what is it?
Paul: It’s 0 1 2 1-fucking do One! *Presses the button to hang up*
(They didn’t call back)
I was just coming back from grabbing somthing out my car when I saw a customer just coming through the exit doors with a trolley loaded down, and his wife happily carrying a receipt as long as my –LEG-
Customer: (To wife) I think I just got raped *putting his wallet back in his pocket*
Wife: oh honey, you enjoyed it really. Your lips said “No” but your credit card said “Yes”
Customer: (To me) She let them rape me!
Me: o.o?
Wife: No I didn’t ^_^
Me: I learned a long time ago, not to argue with a woman
Wife: Smart boy
And finally, Me. Kibob has decided to Alter the rota we use for lunches. When he is on a late, he doesn’t like people going on their lunches after 5pm because this is when a few staff go home and this would mean he would have to get off his fat arse and do some work. Last night, since he hadn’t had a lunch that day, he left early, leaving at 5, not 6. He has altered the rota to say “No member of staff to take their lunch after 5pm”
...
I added the following;
“Members of staff who are grossly overweight do NOT have the right to take their lunch, morning coffee break and afternoon coffee break at the same time, then add an additional half an hour because they are ‘owed’ it just because the amount of food they choose to consume is greater than the combined consumption of the rest of the staff in the store”
I should Add that There is a reason we call Kibob “Slim” and it is because he is, quite literally, about 4 times the weight of a healthy human being. Some of you will argue this could be a health issue, I would not. I have seen the amount of food he CHOOSES to consume.
First off, your favourite Tech, Ade, dealing with a customer who’s computer he has just found loaded with more spyware than you care to imagine
Ade: *Approaches the customer* Hiya, Love. I’ve found the problem with your machine. It has a dose of the clap.
Customer: WHAT?! o.o
Ade: Spyware, viruses, malware, all that kinda stuff.
Paul was getting a little bit pissed off with one of the call centre people who had been calling us all day asking for us to basically do their job for them. By now he had them on speaker phone
Branch Call handling: So is there a store number I can give them?
Paul: Yup
Branch Call Handling : what is it?
Paul: It’s 0 1 2 1-fucking do One! *Presses the button to hang up*
(They didn’t call back)
I was just coming back from grabbing somthing out my car when I saw a customer just coming through the exit doors with a trolley loaded down, and his wife happily carrying a receipt as long as my –LEG-
Customer: (To wife) I think I just got raped *putting his wallet back in his pocket*
Wife: oh honey, you enjoyed it really. Your lips said “No” but your credit card said “Yes”
Customer: (To me) She let them rape me!
Me: o.o?
Wife: No I didn’t ^_^
Me: I learned a long time ago, not to argue with a woman
Wife: Smart boy
And finally, Me. Kibob has decided to Alter the rota we use for lunches. When he is on a late, he doesn’t like people going on their lunches after 5pm because this is when a few staff go home and this would mean he would have to get off his fat arse and do some work. Last night, since he hadn’t had a lunch that day, he left early, leaving at 5, not 6. He has altered the rota to say “No member of staff to take their lunch after 5pm”
...
I added the following;
“Members of staff who are grossly overweight do NOT have the right to take their lunch, morning coffee break and afternoon coffee break at the same time, then add an additional half an hour because they are ‘owed’ it just because the amount of food they choose to consume is greater than the combined consumption of the rest of the staff in the store”
I should Add that There is a reason we call Kibob “Slim” and it is because he is, quite literally, about 4 times the weight of a healthy human being. Some of you will argue this could be a health issue, I would not. I have seen the amount of food he CHOOSES to consume.