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This is kind of a creative writing (?) thing but it fits here as well.
“Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.”
~F.Scott Fitzgerald
I resigned from job today. I quit my job without having another lined up at a time when the country’s economy is in a huge mess.I quit a job where I had been promoted twice in less than two years, made good money, and had good friends to see every day.
I’m okay with that. I’ve always been able to find a job and I will this time as well. If I had a mortgage, a family, and anything other than rent, utilities, and a car payment to pay I wouldn’t have done it. I don’t have those things. I’d like to one day and hope that I will but at the rate things were going at my former job I would have lost the best chance I have ever had. My stomach which has been killing me on a daily basis for the last four or five months hasn’t bothered me today. Even when other things bothered me it didn’t bother me. The only time it bothered me was when I walked in the store early this morning to tell the employee that pretty much kept me sane over the last few months, Lacey, that I was thinking about leaving. It was killing me and that was when I made the final decision to go home and write my letter of resignation.
I didn’t like what I was becoming. One of the guys I work with, who was my second in command if you will, called me Friday night and I told him what I was thinking about doing. He didn’t want to say it I could tell but he told me, “KB you ain’t been happy in awhile. You can see it in your face. I think you’re doing the best thing for you.” He was right and so were my parents when they both told me there comes a point in time where you have to say enough is enough before it drains every bit of happiness out of you. They’d both been in the same situation and they had both done the same thing I did today. They don’t regret it. I don’t either.
I’m not willing to sacrifice myself for the money. I’d rather be happy and broke than have money and be miserable. I’d rather things fall apart because I refused to bring my frustrations home and quit my job than because I stayed with it and became such a miserable person to live with that no one could stand to be in the same room with me anymore.
I’m 32 and I’m starting over. It ain’t the first time I’ve started over and it certainly isn’t the worst situation I have ever been in. I’ll make it I always have. I’m too good at what I do. I don’t think anyone who knows what that job was doing to me blames me for leaving. I think a few of those friends of mine are probably worried about me finding another job but I’ll be fine. Thanks for caring enough to worry about me having to start over. I truly do understand.
Over the last few weeks I have heard things like,“You never smile, you look pissed KB, you’ve got that twinkle in your eye like you are about to do something crazy.” You never smile. I do smile hell I smiled today when I drove out of that parking lot and I smiled tonight when a certain woman walked in the door after work and was smiling. When I went downstairs and looked at my little brother and said, “I’m sure glad I ain’t got to be up at 7 in the morning to go to a meeting I smiled. I smiled big. It wouldn’t go away.It is still there.
Tomorrow I get to go spend the day with my Grandmother who just turned 87. She may not have another birthday dinner. I could have been at work for 12 hours instead. It was worth it just for that.Tonight when I lay down to go to sleep I won’t be burdened by the thoughts o fwhat I did wrong that I would have heard tomorrow in that meeting and I’ll sleep fine. Next week I won’t be unable to go to sleep because I am stressed about a meeting with my bosses and how even though I took a department that had never made budget much less profit and turned it into the number one or two department in the district. How I led the district in four different categories. How I managed to do 7% more business this December than last December when the rest of the company did on average 15% less. That even though I am the only department above budget for the year in the store I still am not doing my job. That I will be told I am failing because I didn’t do some pieceof paperwork that no one looks at. Instead I’ll go to sleep in my bed at a normal, well normal for me, time and sleep well.
I wasn’t running away from a problem I was walking away from a burning building. I’m done running. I’ve got no reason to run anymore. I’m happy with things. I like being this close to my family and my old and new friends. I like being this close to you. I ain’t going anywhere.
Wish me well and wish me luck. Keep my in your prayers if you do pray.
A man is not defined by the work he does or the paycheck he collects. He is not defined by the material things he “owns” or by how often he can go out to eat. A man is defined by the way he loves, the way he treats his friends, the way he holds his head in even the shittiest and scariest of circumstances. He is defined by what he does for the people around him for no other reason than he wants to do something nice. A man is defined by how much he is willing to take before he walks away. A man is defined by being able to make a tough choice in rough times. A man is defined by a lot of things and none of those things are being slave to a thankless job.
K
“I left a good job in the city
Working for the man every night and day
And I never lost one minute of sleeping
Worrying bout the way things might have been”
Proud Mary
“Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.”
~F.Scott Fitzgerald
I resigned from job today. I quit my job without having another lined up at a time when the country’s economy is in a huge mess.I quit a job where I had been promoted twice in less than two years, made good money, and had good friends to see every day.
I’m okay with that. I’ve always been able to find a job and I will this time as well. If I had a mortgage, a family, and anything other than rent, utilities, and a car payment to pay I wouldn’t have done it. I don’t have those things. I’d like to one day and hope that I will but at the rate things were going at my former job I would have lost the best chance I have ever had. My stomach which has been killing me on a daily basis for the last four or five months hasn’t bothered me today. Even when other things bothered me it didn’t bother me. The only time it bothered me was when I walked in the store early this morning to tell the employee that pretty much kept me sane over the last few months, Lacey, that I was thinking about leaving. It was killing me and that was when I made the final decision to go home and write my letter of resignation.
I didn’t like what I was becoming. One of the guys I work with, who was my second in command if you will, called me Friday night and I told him what I was thinking about doing. He didn’t want to say it I could tell but he told me, “KB you ain’t been happy in awhile. You can see it in your face. I think you’re doing the best thing for you.” He was right and so were my parents when they both told me there comes a point in time where you have to say enough is enough before it drains every bit of happiness out of you. They’d both been in the same situation and they had both done the same thing I did today. They don’t regret it. I don’t either.
I’m not willing to sacrifice myself for the money. I’d rather be happy and broke than have money and be miserable. I’d rather things fall apart because I refused to bring my frustrations home and quit my job than because I stayed with it and became such a miserable person to live with that no one could stand to be in the same room with me anymore.
I’m 32 and I’m starting over. It ain’t the first time I’ve started over and it certainly isn’t the worst situation I have ever been in. I’ll make it I always have. I’m too good at what I do. I don’t think anyone who knows what that job was doing to me blames me for leaving. I think a few of those friends of mine are probably worried about me finding another job but I’ll be fine. Thanks for caring enough to worry about me having to start over. I truly do understand.
Over the last few weeks I have heard things like,“You never smile, you look pissed KB, you’ve got that twinkle in your eye like you are about to do something crazy.” You never smile. I do smile hell I smiled today when I drove out of that parking lot and I smiled tonight when a certain woman walked in the door after work and was smiling. When I went downstairs and looked at my little brother and said, “I’m sure glad I ain’t got to be up at 7 in the morning to go to a meeting I smiled. I smiled big. It wouldn’t go away.It is still there.
Tomorrow I get to go spend the day with my Grandmother who just turned 87. She may not have another birthday dinner. I could have been at work for 12 hours instead. It was worth it just for that.Tonight when I lay down to go to sleep I won’t be burdened by the thoughts o fwhat I did wrong that I would have heard tomorrow in that meeting and I’ll sleep fine. Next week I won’t be unable to go to sleep because I am stressed about a meeting with my bosses and how even though I took a department that had never made budget much less profit and turned it into the number one or two department in the district. How I led the district in four different categories. How I managed to do 7% more business this December than last December when the rest of the company did on average 15% less. That even though I am the only department above budget for the year in the store I still am not doing my job. That I will be told I am failing because I didn’t do some pieceof paperwork that no one looks at. Instead I’ll go to sleep in my bed at a normal, well normal for me, time and sleep well.
I wasn’t running away from a problem I was walking away from a burning building. I’m done running. I’ve got no reason to run anymore. I’m happy with things. I like being this close to my family and my old and new friends. I like being this close to you. I ain’t going anywhere.
Wish me well and wish me luck. Keep my in your prayers if you do pray.
A man is not defined by the work he does or the paycheck he collects. He is not defined by the material things he “owns” or by how often he can go out to eat. A man is defined by the way he loves, the way he treats his friends, the way he holds his head in even the shittiest and scariest of circumstances. He is defined by what he does for the people around him for no other reason than he wants to do something nice. A man is defined by how much he is willing to take before he walks away. A man is defined by being able to make a tough choice in rough times. A man is defined by a lot of things and none of those things are being slave to a thankless job.
K
“I left a good job in the city
Working for the man every night and day
And I never lost one minute of sleeping
Worrying bout the way things might have been”
Proud Mary
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