AUgh. I can't take it anymore...

[Horsetuna]

I've held this job for longer than any other job I've ever had - two years.

That's twice as long as any other job I've had.

The pay is great - a lot more than most places would pay us. The boss doesnt skimp there. He also provides us with pizza every few weeks or something else, plus soda/drinks at work and a small fridge, we're very pampered.

But lately I've been feeling angrier and angrier and angrier... I snapped at him the other day. I cant stand my coworker...

I've been breaking down into tears now every day at work. Today it was the sewing machine. My Other Coworker (a nice lady) showed me how to use it a few days ago. Yay! I can sew! I stitched a few things for my SCA group, and then put them aside as one of th two bobbins ran out of thread (the under bobbin I call it. Underneath).

Today she put more thread on it and showed me how to get the thread to come up through the opening so you can grab it. Simple stuff.

After she left, I tried for HALF AN HOUR, wasted at least a mile of thread trying to get that STUPID thread to come up. I dont know WHAT I did wrong. I didnt change ANYTHING since she left. Finally I got it to come out the hole.

And then I startd sewing... and the thread wouldnt keep coming out. It jammed, and snapped.

When I opened up the door to look at the bobbin underneath I noticed it had FALLEN OUT OF THE MACHINE and was in a tray now covered in oil.

So I take it out and wipe it off, along with the bobbin holder that you stick into the hole underneath the machine as all the thread was now oiled and stuff. I wrote a note to the boss and the coworker apologising. I'm in tears cause I know they wont believe me.

The boss NEVER believse me when I say something like this. Like when the pant machine would close randomly, nearly trapping my arms. Its alawys 'there was probably something on the buttons' or 'You probably pressed the button too soon "(the last one pisses me off, cause you need BOTH hands to close the lid and lock it, how the heck do you do that when I have BOTH HANDS on the pants on the press pad??). Or when the machine WONT lock shut, he says 'you have to hold both buttons at once'. AUGH. I KNOW THAT. IT WONT SHUT ENOUGH TO LOCK THOUGH IF YOUD LISTEN TO ME.

But of course whenever I complain he says 'It is a poor workman who blames his tools'. And I just want to say 'F you! You're basically saying that I am too stupid, after a year, to use a machine that has only THREE BUTTONS to work it'. That is perhaps one of the most insulting phrases to EVER say to someone who's machines are NOT WORKING RIGHT.

I dont want to job hunt. Nobody even BEFORE 'the economy was in a recession' would hire a 28 year old with a decade of retail experience. I wouldn't even get call backs/interviews, and all interviews I go to I never even get a call back. OR, I will get hired, and then on day 29 of the last day of the third month, I get told I am 'not needed' and shown the door, basically using the 'three month probation' as a way to get cheap temp workers and then letting them go legally.

I dont want to job hunt but I dont know if I can stay here anymore. I shouldnt be crying every day. And the boss doesnt even care. I've even found myself chewing on the fleshy part of my thumb/wrist area to keep from crying. The bitchy coworker who's always harassing me doesnt help. At times I dont even complain anymore when my machine breaks or something cause they always blame me.

Like the time my iron 'exploded' on inauguration day. I was ironing, and for a few days it had been leaking steam a little at the joint of hose to Iron. That joint suddenly released and I was enveloped in (harmless thankfully) steam. I screamed and of course, dropped the iron on the floor beacuse it scared the hell out of me.

Other Coworker's comment: "You should not drop it! then this wouldnt happen!"



I just dont know what to do anymore. I'm tired of jobhunting, I'm tired of being poor, of having a messy apartment. I dont want to be rich or famous, I just want to live decently and comfortably. The past few days when i wasn't on the verge of tears or walking off the job I just felt... dead.

I did follow the advice of a few people on here about seeking councelling, but they wont call me back! I have emailed/phoned a dozen times, never reach anyone, leave a message and no call backs.

What should I do?

[Broomjockey]

I'd suggest taking a few days away. You may not be able to afford it, but sounds like you can't afford not to. Draw up a schedule of things to do on these days. Sounds like you want to clean your place. Take stock of what cleaning supplies you have, and what you can do. Devote 1 day to cleaning as much as you can. Devote a second day to doing something you enjoy, like reading. Take the third day and do something you've *wanted* to do for a while. Then go back to work.

[Horsetuna]

Sadly, its hard to get more than one day off in a row (Sundays, and we're closed that day). Iv'e tried. I'll keep pushing for it now that we have new girls.

[NightAngel]

First, do the other folks who work there have the same problems with the equipment? If so, then it may be cheap/faulty and perhaps should be addressed to him as a group instead of just by you. If not, then perhaps you should ask to be re-trained, there is nothing bad or wrong with doing this.

My current philosophy is if you have a job right now- hang on to it for dear life no matter how much it sucks. Unless you definately have another job to go to already lined up. My current job is like living in the 7th Plane of Hell for me for many reasons I have not posted here. But, I go- everyday- and I give it my all because I can't afford not to.

And yes, sometimes I go outside on my breaks and cry. Sometimes I'm not the only one out there crying either if that tells you how fantastic my workplace is.

As for the counciling- find somewhere else to go. They obviously suck and you probably don't want to see someone who can't get their shit together more than that. Or perhaps what might help is the "Beer & Bitch" form of therapy? Go with a friend after work, have a beer and you both bitch about your jobs.

In any case hang in there- you aren't alone in the 'have craptacular job and can't quit' area of life.

[Aethian]

had that happen to my sewing machine. Everything was working great and then something went wrong. I just don't know what went wrong. Everything got so f'ed up that I had to take it to a service center.

[Boozy]

I'm tired of jobhunting, I'm tired of being poor, of having a messy apartment.

The first two problems are pretty complicated, but the last one's easy! There's no reason to wish that you didn't have a messy apartment. If you want a clean apartment -- clean your apartment.

Your outlook will be brighter and cheerier if you have a clean, tidy environment to live in. Organized environments lead to organized minds.

[Horsetuna]

Boozy: Believe me, cleaning my apartment only makes it worse

Step 1: clean apartment. put everything into containers I bought specifically for this, label them.

step 2: Yay! Be happy.

Step 3: Missplace my keys. Search for half an hour (When i should have left 20 minutes ago), getting more and more panicked

step 4: burst into frustrated tears, dump all the containers out all over scattering everything thinking I put my keys in one of the containers and forgot which one.

step 5: find keys sitting somewhere VERY OBVIOUSLY IN PLAIN SIGHT.

step 6: run out the door, now late for work

step 7: Come home, have dinner, go to bed too exhausted to clean up again.


I'm working on it, but at a very slow pace. :/

And while the beer + bitch sounds fun, I dont like beer or bars, and I need REAL counselling/therapy.


ETA: Last night after leaving work and closing up, going to KFC for dinner and then getting home, just as a huge thunderstorm rolled in, I realized I can't remember if I had locked the door at work or not. Sigh.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

When I first got my sewing machine, it took me a half an hour to figure out how to get the bobbin thread up. I swore and cried, until I finally did it. It even fell out onto the floor for me, too. I had to take a fifteen-minute break, watch the video again, and try again.

What was the problem?

I didn't manage to get the bobbin all the way into the space it is meant for. It's an easy mistake. The bobbin must click into place. After you have that bobbin properly inserted (as long as it's properly threaded), you won't have a problem--at least with that bobbin.

[Aethian]

Keyhooks right next to the front door are a wonderful thing. Only took me three months of constant use to always remember to hang them up when i walk in the the door. And since I use the key to lock said door I can't lock myself out.

[Horsetuna]

remembering to use it is the key Aethian. I do have some coathooks I could hang my keys on. I just have to REMEMBER it..

actually I remember now I /did/ use a keyhook. And I forgot my keys were there. enter a half an hour of frantic searching before I glance up and see them hanging there over my head the entire time. -.-

[Broomjockey]

Your outlook will be brighter and cheerier if you have a clean, tidy environment to live in. Organized environments lead to organized minds.

They've actually done studies that say this. A messy home environment can lead to depression and all kinds of stuff.

[Seshat]

Don't do the reorganising all at once.

Start by making your existing organisation system tidy. Where you have overflow, sort through those things and get rid of everything that is not:
* useful (to you!)
* beautiful (to you!)
* memorable.

Once you know which boxes/drawers/cupboards/shelves you need to reorganise most, do ONE of them. And live with that one change until you automatically go to that space to put those things away/take them out.

Then do the next.

Then the next.

Always waiting until you've absorbed that change before making the next one.

Of COURSE totally rearranging your life stuffs you up! It's a total rearrangement! Do it in small, manageable stages.

[Ree]

Obviously, you just wanted to vent, so vent away.
No advice from this end.

I have no practical suggestions that won't be met with reasons why they won't work.
We don't know you nor your life, so it's useless to even try to offer solutions.

Hope you get things worked out soon.
Sucks having a messy house.
Broom is right about the depression. My house is upside down due to massive renovations, and the depression has been terrible this past week.

[Horsetuna]

Seshat: I'm defintely working on that. As I said, its a slow process... I've been managing to keep the front hall clean (except the occasional cat toy and shoe)... working my way slowly into the house from there, as well as picking up laundry as I go and stuff. Its just taking a while

[protege]

What I do, is I always keep my keys in the same place. That is, they're in the glass swan on my desk. Toyota and house keys are on the same ring. Extra set of keys is hidden. The exception is the ring with the MG keys. Only one set of those, so I have to be careful. Those stay in the swan when I'm not driving that car. Much easier, and less stress involved that way