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How Not to Get Hired 101

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  • #121
    Quoth South Texan View Post
    Do not assume for a moment that you are not being watched the whole time you are in the interview building.

    Our receptionist [...]
    Geez, South Texas, don't give away all the good secrets!

    I have a firm personal rule: Always treat the receptionist(s) and janitors well at a business. They know (and talk to!) almost everyone high and low, and between them, know where just about everything is kept.
    The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
    "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
    Hoc spatio locantur.

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    • #122
      Quoth Geek King View Post
      Geez, South Texas, don't give away all the good secrets!

      I have a firm personal rule: Always treat the receptionist(s) and janitors well at a business. They know (and talk to!) almost everyone high and low, and between them, know where just about everything is kept.
      Likewise. I don't think it ever got me a job, but it certainly makes things pleasant.

      When I left my cashier job, the Mexican kitchen crew made me a pizza with "Good Luck, HFP" spelled out in green peppers. They didn't do that before to my knowledge. But I always chatted with them, despite the language barrier.

      Lovely ladies. ^^
      "For the love of all that is holy and 4 things that aren’t but feel pretty good anyway" ~ Gravekeeper

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      • #123
        I always make it a point to thank the janitorial staff if they come around while I'm working. And I thank the receptionist when I go to job interviews. I figure being polite and pleasant to everyone goes a long way.
        I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

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        • #124
          At a retail job I worked at immediately after college, a rather disheveled looking guy came in and filled out a application. Pretty scuzzy looking, probably early 20's. I was manning the front desk while he was filling it out. He gets to the question on the application that asks "Are you a convicted felon?" He asks me, "Do I have to answer this? I don't want them to know I'm a convicted sex offender."

          Yeah, we didn't call him back.

          Other good ones were people who couldn't spell the name of their own hometown on the application.

          One recent one from the business I co-own. Guy comes in 40 minutes early for his interview. Yeah, 5-10 minutes is OK, but 40 minutes is excessive. I do have other stuff to do. Also, you probably shouldn't use the phrase, "screwed over", when talking about how you left previous jobs.

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          • #125
            After the interview, return to give the hiring manager a CD of pirated music that you just burned, because you "felt a strong connection."

            This was my pervy coworker who is trying to find another job.

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            • #126
              Quoth MaseMan View Post
              I co-own. Guy comes in 40 minutes early for his interview. Yeah, 5-10 minutes is OK, but 40 minutes is excessive. I do have other stuff to do. Also, you probably shouldn't use the phrase, "screwed over", when talking about how you left previous jobs.
              Depending on how far away from home, and how well I know the typical traffic, I might arrive 40 minutes early...

              ... to the street.

              Identify the building, perhaps drop in and confirm my appointment with reception and ask the receptionist to recommend a good cafe.

              Then go to that cafe and wait thirty minutes or so.

              That way, you KNOW you're early, you've got a chance to touch up your outfit, doublecheck your folio, catch your breath. Better than being late.
              Seshat's self-help guide:
              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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              • #127
                Wander into the pub in response to a sign in the window that reads "Lunchtime kitchen assistant required"

                Ask lethargically what hours the position is for.

                On being informed that surprisingly the hours cover err.... the time when most people have lunch. sigh & say, oh, can't work then & walk off!

                Arp happens!

                Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

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                • #128
                  From Craig's List (and my blog)

                  To err is human, to blame someone else shows good management skills.

                  my blog --> http://www.hendrices.com/joesblog/
                  my brother's blog --> http://www.hendrices.com/ryansblog/

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                  • #129
                    Why can't I decide if he's looking for a job or a date?
                    Curiously Lydean - curious interests of a curious person.

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                    • #130
                      Quoth Silvercat View Post
                      Why can't I decide if he's looking for a job or a date?
                      He's unlikely to get either one, so what's the difference?
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                      • #131
                        Give the hiring manager attitude. Lol. One of my friends did this, and needless to say, was not hired.

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                        • #132
                          Using the number "69" anyplace in your email address on your resume.
                          The beatings will continue until morale improves...

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                          • #133
                            Quoth Gonzo View Post
                            Using the number "69" anyplace in your email address on your resume.
                            LOL< my sister does, that is her year of birth
                            "There is no rehab for stupidity." --Chris Rock
                            "You learn something new and stupid every day you work in retail."--IhateCrappyTire

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                            • #134
                              Quoth Gonzo View Post
                              Using the number "69" anyplace in your email address on your resume.
                              In other words, a Mopar fan proud of their restored musclecar wouldn't stand a chance (1969hemicharger@whateverisp).
                              Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                              • #135
                                -show up in slippers pjs and hair in curlers
                                -ask if pjs can be worn to work
                                -tell me that girls always try and have sex with you

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