Advice sought

[Pixelated]

The recommendations that people avoid all unnecessary travel and public exposure in the face of COVID19 are ramping up.

I recently told a former coworker I would be happy to attend her wedding.

Now I am wondering if I should bow out. (I would be in plenty of time to do so; the event isn't until the end of May.)

The Canadian side of my area has only one suspected case of COVID19. On the American side of the border there are at least some half-dozen confirmed cases ... and it's not like a virus respects international borders.

I should add that I do not hang out with this woman and have only seen her once or twice since our workplace closed down and we all moved on. So we're not talking a close personal friend, although we are Book of Faces friends.

I'll almost certainly still hunt up a nice gift for her but ... should I retract my acceptance of her invite? I could just as easily be a carrier as a recipient of the virus; I work as a cashier in a grocery store and so come into contact with hundreds of members of the public on a daily basis.

Thoughts?

Thanks.

[Mental_Mouse]

Coronavirus would be a lousy wedding gift. I'd say bow out, mentioning the virus. No way is this blowing over by May. (And I hate seeing myself type that...)

[Buzzard]

If you're a carrier, the best idea is to NOT be there. If you show up with a facemask on, infected or not... Yeah, nobody likes the specter of imminent death at such events.

Oddly enough, the gift would be pretty damn safe. The virus does not survive long outside of a host. For extra-safe, Lysol spray the mess before and after wrapping, if applicable.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Forget etiquette. In this situation do what you think is in your best interest health-wise.

[csquared]

Maybe you should ask them what they are thinking.

Timely article:
https://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/wir...-edge-69596034

[greek_jester]

I would tell them that, assuming that the wedding doesn't have to be postponed*, you don't think it would be a good idea to come as you work as a cashier, so you are at a higher risk of contracting the virus from someone who isn't aware that they're infected yet. You do, of course, send them all the good wishes in the world, and their gift will be in the post.

* Might fall under potential public gathering restrictions depending on the size of the wedding party, or if the bride/groom/celebrant get sick/have to be quarantined.

[Pixelated]

Coronavirus would be a lousy wedding gift. I'd say bow out, mentioning the virus. No way is this blowing over by May. (And I hate seeing myself type that...)

Yeah, even with nice shiny paper and a bow on top ...

If you're a carrier, the best idea is to NOT be there. If you show up with a facemask on, infected or not... Yeah, nobody likes the specter of imminent death at such events.

*snip*

I can't be sure I'm a carrier, of course, but the odds are in favour of it, given my giant-supermarket-cashier job.

What if I wear a Darth Vader facemask, complete with wheezing machine ... ?

Forget etiquette. In this situation do what you think is in your best interest health-wise.

So far I'm fine, but I have to keep in mind that (a) I come into contact with a LOT of the public at my job, and (b) I'm 64 ....

Maybe you should ask them what they are thinking.

I will do that but of course my final decision won't depend on theirs.

I would tell them that, assuming that the wedding doesn't have to be postponed*, you don't think it would be a good idea to come as you work as a cashier, so you are at a higher risk of contracting the virus from someone who isn't aware that they're infected yet. You do, of course, send them all the good wishes in the world, and their gift will be in the post.

* Might fall under potential public gathering restrictions depending on the size of the wedding party, or if the bride/groom/celebrant get sick/have to be quarantined.

In all likelihood that is what I'll do. Although the gift is now a bit problematic; I figured I'd have lots of time to go shopping for it ... hahaha ... many stores locally are shutting down for at least a couple of weeks. Might have to do my shopping online ...

[Pixelated]

Well, the situation has sorted itself out ... the couple just announced on Book of Faces that they are postponing their wedding for now.

At this point, sadly, it's the smart thing to do.

[TheSHAD0W]

I'd tell them they should just go to a JP and get married w/o ceremony; then have a combined public ceremony and 1st anniversary with a huge bash.

[Mikkel]

My brother and his wife did more or less the same. They had no money for a large wedding, so they got married with only the closest friends and family attending. Two years later they had saved enough to hold a wedding for everybody. I think the priest called it a blessing on their marriage instead of a wedding, but the ceremony was the same.
In these days of plague, it would be a fair compromise between desires to see everybody and what they may consider their religious duty.

[RealUnimportant]

There's a good chance it'll be eased by May, and there's equal chance it'll be a shitshow, but why decide now? I can understand that venues need booking and as such large events are being cancelled this far in advance... But your personal attendance isn't going to affect whether this goes off or not, so why not wait & see what happens? You may not need to cancel for one reason or another, and worst case you can always cancel later.

[Nunavut Pants]

A friend of a friend canceled their wedding, which isn't for another few months. Primarily because the shelter-in-place order has massively messed up all of the planning and making of arrangements. Last my friend heard, they intend to reschedule but no word on when.

I thought about suggesting that they do a small JP wedding on the date and then a celebration later, but I figured it wasn't my place. I'm not even sure my friend is even in the wedding party, they may simply be a guest...