So much profanity.

[Metody]

Hey, dipshit,

Medicines have different brand names, and you know this. I know you know because when I gave you your hydroxyzine, you asked me the brand name. I remember it distinctly because I said I wasn't sure of the brand names, and let me google it. Oh, look, one of the names is Vistaril. It might have some others, though, because every company calls it something different - just like acetaminophen is called both Tylenol and Paracetamol. You said, 'Ohhhhhhh,' and took the pill.

So why is it that you stuck your head out of your room at change of shift and yelled at the first nurse you saw that you wanted to talk to your doctor because 'that fucking night nurse poisoned me'? The doctor was awfully puzzled when she came in and talked to you, and you revealed that you are allergic to Vistaril because it made you sick and dizzy. She was especially puzzled when you demanded 200mg of Atarax to deal with the panic attack I'd inflicted on you with 25mg of Vistaril.

Because. Those are the same. Damn. Drug. The same! Damn drug!

Oh, and demanding my license because I'd given you medicine without your consent? I was standing by the door, and I heard that long pause before the doctor asked how I'd managed that. It warmed my heart to hear the contempt in her voice after you told her that my handing you a medicine cup with pills in it was force. That doctor has been in the room when I've given medicine. She's heard me read out the medications and ask if those were all okay with my patients. I've seen her roll her eyes when I ask that question. It bugs the hell out of them when they have to wait a few more seconds to do their thing after I've given medication.

So good luck on your complaint, you taint-sucking fecal crust of a human being. I am meticulous and thorough, and everyone knows it. And hey, good luck with tomorrow night. I hope you enjoy your icily polite standard of care, because I assure you, after this bullshit, the next night nurse is not going to be rubbing your fucking shoulder.

Go jump off a cliff,

-Metody


(And the worst part? This wasn't even my worst patient tonight. I am awfully tired of being assaulted.)

[Kazim]

What a loon.

[Amina516]

I had a similar issue where a patient accused me of witholding a medication....whose name he could not remember. He also couldnt tell me what it was for, just that he took it at home and didnt remember taking it here. I read him his home medication list...he still didnt know what it was. I informed him that I had given him all the pills here that he was taking at home. He still wanted to fight me about me about it.

He wasnt happy. He "kicked" me out of his room. I smiled and told him Id gladly leave. It pissed him off. He asked for the charge nurse. Unfortunately, that happened to be me as well. Yeah, Bite me, Krispy Kreme.

Im continually amazed to see the medications people take and have no idea about what theyre for, or the name or even what they look like.

[Metody]

I like the ones who take 5mg 'Dilada' at home - IV. Oh, really? How do you get it into yourself, then?

Uh. Uh. Uh.....fuck you! I want to talk to your supervisor!

Sure, dude. She could use a laugh, too.

[trailerparkmedic]

Or the ones who insist that they get a fast push of the Dilala "because it doesn't work otherwise." Nope, everyone gets their narcs diluted in at least 5 ccs of saline, even (especially) the 2 and 4s of morphine.

[Sapphire Silk]

Or the ones who insist that they get a fast push of the Dilala "because it doesn't work otherwise." Nope, everyone gets their narcs diluted in at least 5 ccs of saline, even (especially) the 2 and 4s of morphine.

Amen, sister!

I love the ones who swear I'm giving them the wrong meds because it doesn't look like the ones they take at home . . . who then refuse to believe me when I explain the hospital uses a different distributor to get its meds than their pharmacy.

Nope: I'm incompetent or deliberately trying to poison the patient. It's a blue pill, never a red one.

Take the fucking red pill, you moron, and come back to the real world.

[Metody]

Or the ones who insist that they get a fast push of the Dilala "because it doesn't work otherwise." Nope, everyone gets their narcs diluted in at least 5 ccs of saline, even (especially) the 2 and 4s of morphine.

Every time someone says something like that to me, I dilute it more and push it twice as slowly. If they call me on it, I tell them exactly what I'm doing, and usually add, 'and my hand's going to start cramping up if I push it any slower, so could you please stop asking?'

I'm sure people have tried to complain, but nothing's stuck yet.

[telecom_goddess]

I love reading the stories/responses from the medical people on here!

[trailerparkmedic]

And on the pain medicine topic...

If I have to wake you out of your snoring stupor, your pain is not 15/10. I might give you the pain medicine but here in the ER, the residents are a few feet away and they take nursing assessments seriously. You've just changed your discharge orders from vicodin to 800 mg ibuprofen.

[Sapphire Silk]

And on the pain medicine topic...

If I have to wake you out of your snoring stupor, your pain is not 15/10. I might give you the pain medicine but here in the ER, the residents are a few feet away and they take nursing assessments seriously. You've just changed your discharge orders from vicodin to 800 mg ibuprofen.

I'm careful about this one. People actually do feel pain when they're asleep.

That being said, it's usually easy to get a sense of how much someone hurts from how they otherwise behave, and their actual medical history. I swear, some of these people are missing out on productive Hollywood careers.

[kpzra]

My doctor back home learned that once I get quiet, I'm in a good amount of pain. I don't show any other signs (might squirm a bit), I just stop joking and talking. She even had it on the notes when I went in to have DD...lol

I've been know to fall asleep when I'm in serious pain if it's been going on long enough. My body shields it long enough to recharge a bit, then back to dealing with it. It doesn't mean I don't want/need pain meds though. I fell asleep in the middle of 30 hours of hard labor with contractions every 3 minutes. Everyone is different.

[trailerparkmedic]

I'm careful about this one. People actually do feel pain when they're asleep.

That being said, it's usually easy to get a sense of how much someone hurts from how they otherwise behave, and their actual medical history. I swear, some of these people are missing out on productive Hollywood careers.

I totally buy some people feeling pain in their sleep. I'm mostly thinking of those people who are so groggy they can barely string together a sentence when you need to reassess their pain yet they "hurt so much" and curse me out if they don't get more because I'm worried about them not breathing.

Also, sedated people trying to curse me out makes me laugh. They make so little sense.

[Metody]

I'm careful about this one. People actually do feel pain when they're asleep.

That being said, it's usually easy to get a sense of how much someone hurts from how they otherwise behave, and their actual medical history. I swear, some of these people are missing out on productive Hollywood careers.

I got scolded by a coworker last night because I woke up a patient to ask if she wanted her PRN pain medication! I was just - holy cow, way to lack thought and compassion. What would you rather be woken up by - an apologetic nurse or a rotting pancreas?

But I'm right with you on the acting. We had a girl last month who would gasp and sob and scream as long as a uniform was in her line of sight. We ended up escorting the medical student to stand beside the door and listen to her talking on her phone, then seamlessly switch to the sobbing when a nurse walked in.

I like it when irritated roommates rat people out, too.

[fireheart]

This is why I'd always memorise and TRY to pronounce the name of the drug in full.

ETA: For example, I've explained that I'm allergic to penicillin to the after-hours doc a few times. They've been genuinely surprised when I've been able to say "moclobemide" and "erythryomycin" without any hassles. (and I always get the generic unless they don't do a generic for it i.e. the Seroquel and the Implanon.)

[Primer]

once I get quiet, I'm in a good amount of pain.

I'm the same way, and always have been. Also, the worse the situation is, the calmer I am.

As for pain scales, the one here is the one I've found to be most helpful:
http://workthedream.wordpress.com/20...n-scale-chart/
I've printed it out and given it to all my doctors. My pain management doc loves it!