Sucky sales staff, sucky customers, and no less than three different penises

[Marlowe]

I wanted to do a separate post just to give an update on the little kid for everyone who's been asking, because I called in at the city centre police station to ask about him... and it's mildly disturbing, as a warning. It also adds some more details I left out of the main post.

There's obviously only so many details the police can legally tell me (they really shouldn't have told me what they did, but the guy behind the desk remembered me from the time I laid out a purse-snatcher with a textbook and then sat on him till the police showed up ) but:

1. That man, despite his claims, was NOT THE KID'S FATHER.
2. As of yet, the police have no idea where the hell this poor kid's parents are.

From how the kid was babbling to himself as we waited for the police me and the sales assistant who were babysitting him guessed he might not be from the UK originally - while he did speak about as good English as any toddler could, he also would chatter away to himself in some language neither of us understood. I speak both Russian and Serbian, and the sales assistant spoke Polish, and while it wasn't any of those, it was definitely similar. From his colouring, I'm guessing maybe Romania or the former Yugoslavia area - I saw a lot of kids from Bosnia who resembled that kid. If he IS from there, then the fact the police can't find his parents could be because either:

a) the parents are undocumented immigrants here, and don't want to call the police in case they get deported, even if they've misplaced their tiny son

b) the parents are from the Romany site near here, and don't want to call the police because they don't want them coming on their campsite, even if they've misplaced their tiny son... in which case BASTARDS

c) the man was some unrelated guy who'd been asked to look after the kid for them for a bit and who gave absolutely no fucks about his responsibilities

or, hideously

d) that man had BOUGHT the kid from someone.

At the time, though, all I knew was that this guy was kicking up a stink and swearing and shouting at everyone - I didn't know if he was the dad and just throwing a tantrum, or if mum and dad were in another store, or what. I DO know, however, that after I left he took a swing at a cop and got arrested

Long story short, the police told me the kid is in foster care while they try and figure things out, and "Dad" has one hell of a lot of explaining to do, as will the parents if and when they finally show their faces.

And thank GOD I didn't just hand the kid back over to that guy It actually makes me feel sick to think about it. The whole time the kid was parroting back the phrase from the front of my T-shirt and giggling, which was ADORABLEOMG - he asked me what it said on it and I read it out, and then he spent the next 15 minutes going "Cool story bro, needs more dragons" in a toddler lisp and then shrieking with laughter. Jeez, if I could, I'd have taken that kid home with me right there.

(Oh yeah, and I told the police guys to let the kid keep my shirt since he liked it so much.)

[Marlowe]

In XXXX they're poisonous too. The Librarian researched thoroughly through L-Space for the answer to what is not dangerous in XXXX...

"Some of the sheep."

Good LORD, guys, that's when you take the hint Nature's trying to give and get the hell out of Dodge!

[Seshat]

Long story short, the police told me the kid is in foster care while they try and figure things out, and "Dad" has one hell of a lot of explaining to do, as will the parents if and when they finally show their faces.

And thank GOD I didn't just hand the kid back over to that guy

You may well have just been responsible for saving a kid's life/sanity/wellbeing.

Make something to always remind yourself of that. If ever you're in a situation where you wonder if you've done good in the world (eg, if you wind up with depression), look at your reminder. And know that you are a Good Person; who has Done Good.

In a crisis situation, you made the right decisions and saved a kid's wellbeing. Good on ya, mate.

[greek_jester]

And thank GOD I didn't just hand the kid back over to that guy It actually makes me feel sick to think about it. The whole time the kid was parroting back the phrase from the front of my T-shirt and giggling, which was ADORABLEOMG - he asked me what it said on it and I read it out, and then he spent the next 15 minutes going "Cool story bro, needs more dragons" in a toddler lisp and then shrieking with laughter. Jeez, if I could, I'd have taken that kid home with me right there.

(Oh yeah, and I told the police guys to let the kid keep my shirt since he liked it so much.)

Thank you. Thank you so much for being willing to stand your ground and do the right thing. I hope that the little boy ends up in a good home, and that someone tells him about the person who was willing to stand up for him and keep him safe. You did an amazing thing. Thank you.

[shopgirl15]

Also Marlowe, have you seen actual Muslim bathing suits? They're pretty cool looking.

http://www.muslim-swimwear.com/

I wouldn't call that cool looking...the first thing it makes me think of is a way to get heat stroke.

I showed the site to my mother, who is from Iran and a nonpracticing Muslim family. She laughed and said that the swimsuits miss the whole point of covering up - its about modestly concealing the female figure, as she puts it: ""If I can see the outline of your ass/boobs, there's no point in covering your hair."

[shopgirl15]

I wanted to do a separate post just to give an update on the little kid for everyone who's been asking, because I called in at the city centre police station to ask about him... and it's mildly disturbing, as a warning.

Good on you for standing your ground. Poor kid though.

[Marlowe]

Thank you. Thank you so much for being willing to stand your ground and do the right thing.

There are some awful people out there, but you know what they say about evil - all that it needs to triumph is for good people to stand by and do nothing. I remember reading about Adam Walsh in the news when I was very young, and he was taken from a Sears in a crowded outlet mall, and nobody saw or did a thing. Yes, there are always going to be Gacys and Dahmers and your "everyday" sickos out there, but if we all looked out for each other more, the world'd be a whole lot safer from them.

I just kind of wish I could do more...

[Seshat]

You already are. But here's some suggestions (IIRC, you're in Ireland):


http://www.volunteer.ie/

volunteering in ireland


For foster children or disadvantaged children in general, find out if there's a local branch of the 'Big Brother/Big Sister' program. If not, consider finding out what it would take to start one, or if the local police/schools can put you in touch with a family/families that need it.

The 'big brother/sister' is basically a caring person (such as you) who gives the family's child/ren time and attention and opportunities that the parents can't. Taking them to museums or art galleries. Taking them to the park and playing frisbee. Being an attentive person to the other children in a family with a severely disabled child. This can make a surprisingly important difference in a child's life.


At the other end of the age spectrum, you could be someone's 'foster grandchild'. Visiting the frail aged, either at their homes or in retirement/nursing homes. We have a frail aged neighbour whose quality of life is vastly improved just by knowing that she can call us any time, any day and get a light bulb changed, or get help with shopping: and because she's not alone anymore.


Then there's the disabled or disadvantaged in the age groups between child and frail aged. Some of us can be very difficult; especially the ones suffering from such horrible diseases as paranoid schizophrenia or some of the psychoses*. But others are perfectly nice people whose bodies happen not to work.
(* of course, some of these are perfectly nice people whose brains don't work; but when suffering an attack - especially a severe one - it's probably best left to the professionals to handle it.)


Carer respite is another volunteering field you might want to consider; though frankly that one is intensive enough that I'd probably go for professional qualificiations and finding an employer. If only for the confidence of yourself, the carer, and the patient; in case something goes wrong.


For other suggestions for human-services volunteering, PM our social-worker-in-training (antisocial-worker), or any of our nurses, or contact the volunteer organisations up there, the police, any social worker, any church....


For other types of volunteering; there's usually somewhere in the community that's a logical starting place. Animal welfare: try a zoo or an animal rehab centre, or the SPCA/equivalent. Environment rehabilitation: is there a 'parks and wildlife' department to your government? And so on....

[Marlowe]

You already are. But here's some suggestions

Thanks I already do a lot of those things, I taught remedial spelling, numeracy and basic literacy at school, have a rapidly growing collection of waif and stray cats that now rule over my house an iron paw(s), run campaigns, picket, do shopping for my elderly neighbour, do translation between my old political group and their foreign contacts, all those things...

... but it just takes something like this to make me realise quite how little it is in the great scheme of things. Had I been five minutes earlier or later, or if the kid hadn't approached me, I might never have seen him, and everything could have ended differently... and that just makes me wonder how many other kids like him there have been that I've just breezed straight past.

/melancholy Marlowe is melancholy

[Seshat]

You can't be everywhere at once, doing everything at once.

Quite aside from it being impossible for one person: if you're handling everything, you're not leaving any for ME!


(Please don't think I'm not taking this seriously - but if you try to carry the weight of the world on your own shoulders, you'll burn out. Fast.)

[Rapscallion]

From how the kid was babbling to himself as we waited for the police me and the sales assistant who were babysitting him guessed he might not be from the UK originally - while he did speak about as good English as any toddler could, he also would chatter away to himself in some language neither of us understood. I speak both Russian and Serbian, and the sales assistant spoke Polish, and while it wasn't any of those, it was definitely similar. From his colouring, I'm guessing maybe Romania or the former Yugoslavia area - I saw a lot of kids from Bosnia who resembled that kid. If he IS from there, then the fact the police can't find his parents could be because either:

Romanian is descended very closely from Latin, the others are Slavic languages with far different heritages, so very unlikely to be Romanian. I'm surprised it sounded so similar to that language family.

Rapscallion

[Tama]

It makes me think of the kid from KOTOR, who learned just enough of a local language to mangle the hell out of it. That could be it.

[Ree]

It makes me think of the kid from KOTOR, who learned just enough of a local language to mangle the hell out of it. That could be it.

I don't know. She described him as a toddler.
That's pretty young. Most toddlers are so busy trying to learn their own language, let alone another one.
Besides, he started out speaking what seemed like normal English, unless Marlowe was paraphrasing.

Boy: Hihi!
Me: Uh... *crouches down to his level and strategically positions bag to shield the poor kid a little from the main thoroughfare* where's your mummy and daddy, sweetheart?
Boy: They went away. *grins* I went weewee in the sweets.
Me:
Boy: Then I showed that lady my peepee. *grins more*

"peepee" and "weewee" really are more "English" colloquialisms or euphemisms, so it's very odd that he reverted to an unrecognizable foreign language.
Maybe it was just little kid/toddler babble.

Very odd situation, indeed.

I am seriously wondering about the kid's background, though, because I have seen a lot of toddlers separated from their parents, and that kid's reaction was odd, especially considering he was with strangers, and there was shouting going on from a man who was trying to take him, but was not his father.

It's bad enough when the kidlets know the person they are with when they're separated.
Most little ones will, at some point, realize their parent has gone bye-bye, and will start to show some degree of separation anxiety. (It really depends on the child what degree of anxiety occurs. Some will be fine after a few minutes, and some will take longer to calm down. Some just have a bit of pouting or tears, while others will scream like banshees.)
Aside from the initial description of the kid crying:

Man: FUCK, just GIVE HIM TO ME RIGHT NOW YOU BITCH, I-
Boy:

he seemed to be quite oddly at ease and giggling.

The whole time the kid was parroting back the phrase from the front of my T-shirt and giggling, which was ADORABLEOMG - he asked me what it said on it and I read it out, and then he spent the next 15 minutes going "Cool story bro, needs more dragons" in a toddler lisp and then shrieking with laughter.

Really makes me wonder about so many things.

Unbelievably serendipitous for the child that you were there when you were.
(Maybe we should get you a cape. LOL)

(they really shouldn't have told me what they did, but the guy behind the desk remembered me from the time I laid out a purse-snatcher with a textbook and then sat on him till the police showed up )

[NorthernZel]

Romanian is descended very closely from Latin, the others are Slavic languages with far different heritages, so very unlikely to be Romanian. I'm surprised it sounded so similar to that language family.

Rapscallion

Perhaps they originated from Bulgaria, AFAIK they also have a Romany/gypsy minority.

[XCashier]

If I don't respond to a question or when you say "excuse me", then don't start screaming at me/just shove me out of the way and give me the evil eye... why not try, I don't know, coming round and addressing my face rather than my back?

...Does anyone else have this problem?

I'm lucky if they say "excuse me." Usually they stand directly behind me, silent as death, and then get offended if I don't immediately sense their presence or see them with the nonexistant eyes in the back of my head.

Also a pet peeve of mine is people who talk to you while walking away. That is just plain rude, plus you're facing away and moving away from the person you're talking to, so why are you so shocked that they didn't hear you?

Man: Hey, that's my son! Get away from him!
Me: This is your son? (because I can think of 101 things I want to do to you if he is, you neglectful douche.)
Man: Yes, he's my son! Give him to me! *reaches out for the boy, who cowers behind me*
Me: OK. *picks up boy and covers him with bag* Can you prove you're his father?
Man: What the hell do you mean, PROVE I'M HIS FATHER?
Me: Well, he doesn't seem to like you all that much...
Man: FUCK, just GIVE HIM TO ME RIGHT NOW YOU BITCH, I-
Boy:
Me: Look, as far as I know, a man I've never met has come up to a little naked kid in a store and tried to take him away. You could be his father, or you could be a sicko. Either way, unless you can show me something like a photograph that proves he's your kid, you're not taking him. *grabs passing assistant and gets him to page security*

Thank you for defending the poor kid, and for the update. That was nice of you to let him keep the shirt, too. I sincerely hope the authorities can help him.

Also Marlowe, have you seen actual Muslim bathing suits? They're pretty cool looking.

http://www.muslim-swimwear.com/

Those are actually quite nice, reminds me a little of the bathing suits favored in the 1900s. I quite like the style of the third one on the top row.

I also seem to recall seeing Muslim women Olympians wearing similar suits (more like a unitard with headpiece, no skirt).