Is quite long-you only have to read it,not live it.
I get to spend the night at a hotel(yippee!).
*Arrive-first thing I notice is that when I open my window,I get a nasty cut to my hand-the window handle has broken and is only half there,leaving a jagged spiky end.
*Go to bar to report it-get drinks.Drinks total £3.35-hand over £4.Barman says no,it's £3.35 and that is not enough. Point out cash covers it-he insists on extra £2. Receive only 65p change. Not in delighted mode.
*Evening meal
I arrive at 7 as booked,seated and get my drink.Ask for a minute or two extra to check the menu out.
By 7.15-server wanders past-Are you waiting for your meal to be served?
Reply 'No'-she disappears before I can get to the '...because no-one's ordered it yet'
By 7.35-server appears-Are you alright-No,I'm waiting for someone to take my order
Reply-'Yep,well that's alright then'
By 7.45 any time a server appears and there aren't many of them-when one whizzes by it's with a pile of dishes-I am practically leaping on the chair waving at them...
Finally get served at 7.55..
The main meal turns up without its vegetables apart from the kale,which is minute and looks ominously less like kale and more like a chewed up cabbage leaf.Turns out that's what it is-a cabbage leaf that 'must have come off another meal'.
*Send up bill with tip written on it for server(who to be fair,once my existence has been noticed has been pretty good)and money.Change arrives back-with feedback card and with reprinted receipt with no tip on,just showing price of meal.
Meanwhile,my server has left a saucer for her tip-I tell her I added it onto the bill when I sent it up.She hasn't seen it at all.
*Also notice that when I sent up the feedback card,it had on 'Your server's name: K'.Now J and L have been added to it.
All J(the barman) has done is bring a drink and then vanish into the ether-and overcharge me earlier in the day because he can't work out 4-3.
I didn't even realize L was a server at first-she was sitting at reception in denims chatting to J at the bar.I thought she was his girlfriend or another guest.
Later on,she was doing a bit of cleaning and asked Are you all right when she went past the table.Not a contribution worthy of a tip.
*Return to room-on way up,suddenly go over on ankle-realize there is a hole in the floorboards under the carpet as if one end has broken off a board.You can also feel the loose board going up and down.
Go down to report this.They have no idea about a hole-offer to show them and tell them where it is. 'Oh,you mean the one in the floorboards?''Yes''We know about that one'. Might have been nice to advise the customers.
*Decide to go for a walk down by the river to escape the place.About 10 minutes,a car pulls up and calls over Are you all right.
-Yep,I'm fine,just having a stroll in the evening.
-Hotel Staff.You need to come back to the hotel with us.
-Is there some sort of emergency or problem?
-No nothing like that.We're making sure you're alright.
-I'm fine.I'm just having a stroll-I know my way back to the hotel.
-Well,you have to be back by 11 or we'll send someone out to come and bring you back.
Just then,someone else coming back calls over-What's going on?Is there a problem? Car guns it,handbrake turn and disappears like a bat out of hell.
Either they have some weird spy staff or there's a local loonie around accosting their guests.
*On arrival,finally decide to get into bed-lie on mattress and sink in.A long way.Just around my lower back,there's a large depression as if someone's plonked a giant bowling ball on it several times.Fortunately it was a double bed,so I was able to enjoy my side of the bed,which was rather comfy.And got a good night's sleep
*Until 11.33am.When I woke-no wake-up call had been sent.
That was OK-breakfast was served till 12.Got down for breakfast-to find it packed away.Apparently only the hot breakfast was served till 12-no cereals or yogurts or things like that.
Now I just have to fill out my customer feedback reports to go back to management.This should be...entertaining
I get to spend the night at a hotel(yippee!).
*Arrive-first thing I notice is that when I open my window,I get a nasty cut to my hand-the window handle has broken and is only half there,leaving a jagged spiky end.
*Go to bar to report it-get drinks.Drinks total £3.35-hand over £4.Barman says no,it's £3.35 and that is not enough. Point out cash covers it-he insists on extra £2. Receive only 65p change. Not in delighted mode.
*Evening meal
I arrive at 7 as booked,seated and get my drink.Ask for a minute or two extra to check the menu out.
By 7.15-server wanders past-Are you waiting for your meal to be served?
Reply 'No'-she disappears before I can get to the '...because no-one's ordered it yet'
By 7.35-server appears-Are you alright-No,I'm waiting for someone to take my order
Reply-'Yep,well that's alright then'
By 7.45 any time a server appears and there aren't many of them-when one whizzes by it's with a pile of dishes-I am practically leaping on the chair waving at them...
Finally get served at 7.55..
The main meal turns up without its vegetables apart from the kale,which is minute and looks ominously less like kale and more like a chewed up cabbage leaf.Turns out that's what it is-a cabbage leaf that 'must have come off another meal'.
*Send up bill with tip written on it for server(who to be fair,once my existence has been noticed has been pretty good)and money.Change arrives back-with feedback card and with reprinted receipt with no tip on,just showing price of meal.
Meanwhile,my server has left a saucer for her tip-I tell her I added it onto the bill when I sent it up.She hasn't seen it at all.
*Also notice that when I sent up the feedback card,it had on 'Your server's name: K'.Now J and L have been added to it.
All J(the barman) has done is bring a drink and then vanish into the ether-and overcharge me earlier in the day because he can't work out 4-3.
I didn't even realize L was a server at first-she was sitting at reception in denims chatting to J at the bar.I thought she was his girlfriend or another guest.
Later on,she was doing a bit of cleaning and asked Are you all right when she went past the table.Not a contribution worthy of a tip.
*Return to room-on way up,suddenly go over on ankle-realize there is a hole in the floorboards under the carpet as if one end has broken off a board.You can also feel the loose board going up and down.
Go down to report this.They have no idea about a hole-offer to show them and tell them where it is. 'Oh,you mean the one in the floorboards?''Yes''We know about that one'. Might have been nice to advise the customers.
*Decide to go for a walk down by the river to escape the place.About 10 minutes,a car pulls up and calls over Are you all right.
-Yep,I'm fine,just having a stroll in the evening.
-Hotel Staff.You need to come back to the hotel with us.
-Is there some sort of emergency or problem?
-No nothing like that.We're making sure you're alright.
-I'm fine.I'm just having a stroll-I know my way back to the hotel.
-Well,you have to be back by 11 or we'll send someone out to come and bring you back.
Just then,someone else coming back calls over-What's going on?Is there a problem? Car guns it,handbrake turn and disappears like a bat out of hell.
Either they have some weird spy staff or there's a local loonie around accosting their guests.
*On arrival,finally decide to get into bed-lie on mattress and sink in.A long way.Just around my lower back,there's a large depression as if someone's plonked a giant bowling ball on it several times.Fortunately it was a double bed,so I was able to enjoy my side of the bed,which was rather comfy.And got a good night's sleep
*Until 11.33am.When I woke-no wake-up call had been sent.
That was OK-breakfast was served till 12.Got down for breakfast-to find it packed away.Apparently only the hot breakfast was served till 12-no cereals or yogurts or things like that.
Now I just have to fill out my customer feedback reports to go back to management.This should be...entertaining

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