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While on routine parking lot patrol the other day, I happened by an interesting sight.
The first signs something was amiss in Friendlytown was when I noted some smoke curling from the ventilation unit on top of the "Kollege Kafe", a short-order lunch counter kind of operation that is housed in the first floor of a three story apartment complex downtown.
They've got a full grill setup going behind the counter, so seeing billowing clouds of blue-grey burger smoke isn't out of the ordinary (nor is smelling the char-broiled odor of said smoke, sometimes from a block away if the wind is blowing.)
But this was different, it was black smoke. Curling, black, smoke... that smelt not of meat, but the stinging and burning noxious odor of burning grease, just rolling out the exhaust stack.
Transfixed, I pull over, get out, and walk toward the smoke signal, watching silently as within a few short minutes, I note that it's starting to stain the wall of the building as it continues to roll up the side.....
Looking below, on the sidewalk out front, I see the Kafe's normal two-man crew, apron clad and all, just sort of standing around. Well, not standing, really. One was kinda pacing back and forth, the other was leaning against the open door to the place, and sure enough, some smoke was starting to waft out there as well as he, rather disinterestedly, seemed to be texting someone on his phone.
But what REALLY got my attention was what I could see behind said man, on account of the Kafe having full glass bay windows across the front.
Namely, the festive FOUR FOOT HIGH FLAMES leaping off the one grill
This isn't the kind of flare up you occasionally get when you flip over a greasy burger on a char block, these were large SCARY sheets of orange FLAME shooting almost to the ceiling inside!
Okay, so, the two guys at work here had a little grease fire, and it got a bit out of control, well, they probably called the FD, which is why they're kinda just loitering about on the sidewalk, looking a bit guilty, like when you find the dog kinda just wandering around aimlessly when you get home, avoiding eye contact, and your first thought is "alright, what'd you do?" No good comes from running around in a panic during an emergency, after all.
One little flaw with my hypothesis though, I don't hear any fire engines coming...
Despite the fact the fire house is only about 6 blocks away, on a straight shot down a two-lane one way street, I don't hear anything heralding the imminent arrival of the fire brigade.
One minute goes by.....
Two minutes go by....
Pretty soon about FIVE minutes have gone by....
I'm straining my eardrums, but I'm not hearing any sirens, or smoke alarms for that matter.
The smoke is still being prodigiously produced by that fire though.... and the two employees are still kinda just chillin' on the sidewalk. A couple people walking by have by now looked inside and noticed that the place seems to be ON FIRE, but dumb and dumber just smile and wave at them both.
Did I mention this is the first floor of a THREE STORY apartment building? As in there's PEOPLE who might not be aware that disaster is brewing just one floor below, if they haven't already noted the smoke, which is by now getting a bit thick as it continues to belch out the stack and front door, the flames showing no sign of subsiding.
I was literally reaching for my phone to call the firemen and ask if these two knuckleheads had, by chance, reported that they'd accidentally set their place of employment ablaze when a borough cop cruiser whips into the lot.
The cop gets out and strides up to the two cooks and asks, in the understatement of the year "Is there a problem here?!"
About a half-a-sec later, an SUV I recognize as belonging to Kollege Kafe's owner whips in behind the cop car and pulls to a hurried stop, the owner getting out and frantically yammering on a cell with one hand while clutching a handful of papers (probably his lease, with him wondering how much trouble he just got in) in the other.
Now, I can't say for certain, but, given the preponderance of evidence, I could certainly make a very compelling argument in front of a jury that not only did these two employees set the place on fire, but instead of calling the FIRE DEPARTMENT, they apparently called their BOSS and told him "Uh, your place is on fire, and we don't know what to do" or words to that effect. Seeing as there's no other practical way his arrival would time out as such.
Fortunately, the cop by now had fired up the radios and gotten the proper authorities rolling, as within 2 minutes, the command SUV from the FD arrived, followed shortly thereafter by the actual fire engines.
Only NOW does a fire alarm go off in the building.
Uh oh
Did someone perhaps take the batteries out of the smoke alarm to avoid false positives? ANd now has hurried to reinsert them before the firemen find out? (That's a quick $1000 MINIMUM fine inside the Borough, deactivating a smoke alarm)
Anyway, the situation is happily under control now, so I go on my merry way.
Over the next few days, I managed to glean some more information from neighboring businesses and it seems the Kafe was going to do some kind of "bacon all day" promotion where , as the name suggests, a lot of bacon would need to be cooked, and indeed, it seems that was the source o the fire, too much grease... but, the real shocking part, the fact that the two morons behind the counter didn't reach for the fire extinguisher (if they don't have one, that's going to be another fine) or the phone and CALL the fire department, they just stood back and watched the whole mess burn and endanger however many tenants are inside that building.
The only good thing is that all the cleanup and restoration services trucks that have been in and out of there all week CAN'T be cheap, karma is expensive.
The first signs something was amiss in Friendlytown was when I noted some smoke curling from the ventilation unit on top of the "Kollege Kafe", a short-order lunch counter kind of operation that is housed in the first floor of a three story apartment complex downtown.
They've got a full grill setup going behind the counter, so seeing billowing clouds of blue-grey burger smoke isn't out of the ordinary (nor is smelling the char-broiled odor of said smoke, sometimes from a block away if the wind is blowing.)
But this was different, it was black smoke. Curling, black, smoke... that smelt not of meat, but the stinging and burning noxious odor of burning grease, just rolling out the exhaust stack.
Transfixed, I pull over, get out, and walk toward the smoke signal, watching silently as within a few short minutes, I note that it's starting to stain the wall of the building as it continues to roll up the side.....
Looking below, on the sidewalk out front, I see the Kafe's normal two-man crew, apron clad and all, just sort of standing around. Well, not standing, really. One was kinda pacing back and forth, the other was leaning against the open door to the place, and sure enough, some smoke was starting to waft out there as well as he, rather disinterestedly, seemed to be texting someone on his phone.
But what REALLY got my attention was what I could see behind said man, on account of the Kafe having full glass bay windows across the front.
Namely, the festive FOUR FOOT HIGH FLAMES leaping off the one grill
This isn't the kind of flare up you occasionally get when you flip over a greasy burger on a char block, these were large SCARY sheets of orange FLAME shooting almost to the ceiling inside!
Okay, so, the two guys at work here had a little grease fire, and it got a bit out of control, well, they probably called the FD, which is why they're kinda just loitering about on the sidewalk, looking a bit guilty, like when you find the dog kinda just wandering around aimlessly when you get home, avoiding eye contact, and your first thought is "alright, what'd you do?" No good comes from running around in a panic during an emergency, after all.
One little flaw with my hypothesis though, I don't hear any fire engines coming...
Despite the fact the fire house is only about 6 blocks away, on a straight shot down a two-lane one way street, I don't hear anything heralding the imminent arrival of the fire brigade.
One minute goes by.....
Two minutes go by....
Pretty soon about FIVE minutes have gone by....
I'm straining my eardrums, but I'm not hearing any sirens, or smoke alarms for that matter.
The smoke is still being prodigiously produced by that fire though.... and the two employees are still kinda just chillin' on the sidewalk. A couple people walking by have by now looked inside and noticed that the place seems to be ON FIRE, but dumb and dumber just smile and wave at them both.
Did I mention this is the first floor of a THREE STORY apartment building? As in there's PEOPLE who might not be aware that disaster is brewing just one floor below, if they haven't already noted the smoke, which is by now getting a bit thick as it continues to belch out the stack and front door, the flames showing no sign of subsiding.
I was literally reaching for my phone to call the firemen and ask if these two knuckleheads had, by chance, reported that they'd accidentally set their place of employment ablaze when a borough cop cruiser whips into the lot.
The cop gets out and strides up to the two cooks and asks, in the understatement of the year "Is there a problem here?!"
About a half-a-sec later, an SUV I recognize as belonging to Kollege Kafe's owner whips in behind the cop car and pulls to a hurried stop, the owner getting out and frantically yammering on a cell with one hand while clutching a handful of papers (probably his lease, with him wondering how much trouble he just got in) in the other.
Now, I can't say for certain, but, given the preponderance of evidence, I could certainly make a very compelling argument in front of a jury that not only did these two employees set the place on fire, but instead of calling the FIRE DEPARTMENT, they apparently called their BOSS and told him "Uh, your place is on fire, and we don't know what to do" or words to that effect. Seeing as there's no other practical way his arrival would time out as such.
Fortunately, the cop by now had fired up the radios and gotten the proper authorities rolling, as within 2 minutes, the command SUV from the FD arrived, followed shortly thereafter by the actual fire engines.
Only NOW does a fire alarm go off in the building.
Uh oh
Did someone perhaps take the batteries out of the smoke alarm to avoid false positives? ANd now has hurried to reinsert them before the firemen find out? (That's a quick $1000 MINIMUM fine inside the Borough, deactivating a smoke alarm)
Anyway, the situation is happily under control now, so I go on my merry way.
Over the next few days, I managed to glean some more information from neighboring businesses and it seems the Kafe was going to do some kind of "bacon all day" promotion where , as the name suggests, a lot of bacon would need to be cooked, and indeed, it seems that was the source o the fire, too much grease... but, the real shocking part, the fact that the two morons behind the counter didn't reach for the fire extinguisher (if they don't have one, that's going to be another fine) or the phone and CALL the fire department, they just stood back and watched the whole mess burn and endanger however many tenants are inside that building.
The only good thing is that all the cleanup and restoration services trucks that have been in and out of there all week CAN'T be cheap, karma is expensive.
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