Starting them young

[Food Lady]

This is here because it's my coworker's story. She was cashiering yesterday and was trying to give a sticker to a child when the mom admonished the kid for talking to strangers. "You don't talk to her. You don't know her." What a hypocrite. She was talking to the cashier she didn't know. On top of that, what if the kid got lost in the store? It's we strangers who stop what we're doing to go look for that child.

[XCashier]

Mom needs to differentiate strangers it's okay to talk to -- police officers, store employees, medical staff, etc. -- from strangers to avoid. As you said, if the kid gets lost, he'll freak out and not ask for help from someone who is qualified to help.

Also, if Mom, Dad or another trusted adult is there, it's okay to talk to whomever they're talking to.

[flyonthewall]

Hmm, there have been several cases where the "don't talk to strangers" rule caused the child is be lost for longer than they would have been had they just approached someone and asked for help. I think we can all agree that most members of the human species would help a lost child, pass them on to someone who could help them, or at least not harm them and leave them be. Most members of society never commit a serious/violent crime. And even the ones who do beat the out of people who mess with kids when they arrive at the slammer. (Just watch the prison documentaries! Sometimes child sex offenders have to be in protective custody so they don't get killed in general population!)

In conclusion: talking to strangers is a vital part of our survival. We are social creatures who depend on each other.

It's always bothered me that people think retail/food employees are bad people. Um, I don't know about you guys but there was an extensive background check for me. They wanted to know if I had gotten any PARKING tickets in my life! And they checked to make sure I was telling them the truth when I told them I hadn't! (Fly is a responsible parker. ^.^)

[Seanette]

I work in a thrift store and had to pass a background check.

Of course, being a middle-aged woman, kids seem to consider me a safe person to talk to. Good thing when they misplace their parents and need my help.

[notalwaysright]

"You don't talk to her. You don't know her." What a hypocrite. She was talking to the cashier she didn't know.

Follow the logic here... Strangers are people you don't know. These people INCLUDE those that your parent talks to. How would a person stop being a stranger?

Teaching kids to be aware of their surroundings, and not get into cars with stranger seems smart. Telling your kid not to talk to a store clerk while standing right next to the parent? Not so smart. As the title says, start them young. Start their childhood trauma and future need for therapy early is more like it.

[raudf]

My rule with the kids is "If you get lost, look for a person in uniform. If we are in a store, go to the nearest person in the store's "outfit" or the nearest register. If you are approached by a non-uniformed stranger, don't follow them and stay out of reach. If they are actually trying to help you, they will tell you to stay put while they go and get someone in a uniform. (Or if they are searchers in a missing kids, they will call it in.) Just don't follow them and don't get within reach."

[Food Lady]

Excellent advice!

[workerbee222]

"Don't talk to strangers" doesn't take into account that funny uncle you've spent a lifetime avoiding at the family reunions!

Silly. In the nearby city, a kindergardener got dropped off the school bus in the business district, a half mile from her home. Rather than "ask a stranger" to get a cop to walk her home, she crossed the busy streets alone. She told the bus driver it wasn't the right place, too!