Never Again (Self-Sighting)

[AnaKhouri]

It was us. We were the bad customers.

Took Mal, who is 16 months old, for his first haircut. I knew it would be stressful because the kid is very wary of strangers trying to touch him, and because he comes from a long line of extremely stubborn men. But he looked shaggy, and not in a cute hippie-baby way. And he was fed and rested, so I tried.

So we go to Great Clips, and the lady there was very sweet. I held him on my lap, and she set to work.

Cue the screaming. It was like she was cutting out his heart in some Aztec ritual, not trimming his hair. The screaming, and the howling, and the tears, and the flailing. He smacked me in the face, kicked me, kicked the lady, swatted her hands away, tried to snatch the scissors, arched him back and tried to fling himself to the floor. No distraction worked. Big Brother playing peekaboo didn't work. The other salon lady trying to talk to him didn't work. The stylist, bless her heart, put a Mickey Mouse video on her smartphone for him (I don't have a smartphone, and I could have told her he is oblivious to anything on a screen, but it was worth a shot). She managed to get it shortened, it's crooked as hell but I wasn't going to put her or the other clients (all young men- we live near a college- who were giving us some serious side-eye) through all that.

She said they guarantee their cuts so if I wanted to bring him back later she could try to even it out. Honey, he can stay uneven. I may never go back there myself, it was so embarrassing. I gave her a $10 tip on an $11 haircut and fled into the snow with both boys.

Never again.

[Ellf]

I would call the situation sucky, not you being a sucky customer. If you were actively trying to calm your baby and it wasn't working? It happens. It sucks, but it's not your fault.

My two cents.

[WishfulSpirit]

I second the "sucky situation, not sucky customer" angle. You did what you could. Most people understand that little ones cry. It's not like he was a 10 year old throwing a fit like that (and even if he was, I'd try to give some grace and assume "disability" if mom was trying to calm him). Sure listening to a kid scream is annoying, but kids are kids. They need haircuts too. Plus you tipped well.

[dalesys]

I have one word... Nair!

[April]

And this is exactly why, when my son was about the same age I bought a pair of clippers and buzzed my son's hair for the next 9 years.

[dalesys]

... buzzed my son's hair for the next 9 years.

Which is why he calls Marine boots "Hippies!"

[April]

Which is why he calls Marine boots "Hippies!"

Speaking of hippies, in a different context..I keep saying that now he looks like a member of a 70's band. He gets mad when I tell him he looks "dreamy".

[AnaKhouri]

Older Son didn't even get a haircut until he was near 3, but his hair looked really good long. Younger Son, unfortunately, is not a natural hippie like his brother. Although after this...maybe he can be an artificial hippie. Or we can out it in a man (boy?)-bun.

[Sliceanddice]

think about not as hippy but as my brother, who when hes lazy and doesn't shave or go get a hair cut sports the Viking Luberjack look. It works for him (curse him and his gorgeous silken blonde hair and general not knowing why I envy it) and it is easy.

[Seshat]

I agree with 'Fail to see the suck'. You were actively trying to calm the child, left a good tip, and were appreciative and kind.

I do have a suggestion for you to consider: but before taking it, please realise that I have no kids of my own. So .. maybe this is a clueless not-Mum being annoying.

Think about bringing a second adult, and getting your own hair cut with kidlet in attendance, and second adult encouraging kidlet to watch the experience. (Bearing kidlet's attention span in mind, of course, and having toys and other distractions.)

And let kidlet watch the older brother you mentioned having a haircut. Other members of the family-and-friends network. Make it into a normal thing, something everyone does.

If there's an empty salon chair and the staff are okay with it, maybe kidlet can explore the salon station (under CLOSE supervision, naturally! scissors, eek!).

If kidlet becomes okay with it, kidlet can have a dry run with a hairdresser just touching and holding his hair as if she were to cut it, and explaining the process.

Encourage older sibling to play 'hairdresser' with younger sibling (no actual scissors, just hands held in scissor-shape). Or if there's such a thing as toy scissors with no blades, those would be fine too. You can play hairdresser too, of course! (You might get some interesting fake haircuts out of it!)

Does any of this sound helpful to you? Or have other Mums and Dads on the board got any suggestions?

[AnaKhouri]

He has watched Big Brother get a haircut but Big Brother is 5 years older and would never in a million years play hairdresser. Wrestler, yes. And unfortunately there is no other adult. My husband works 60 hours a week, often more, so it's me and the kids almost 24/7, with no family around and no friends who would be available when the salon is open. I hadn't thought about taking him for a dry run though (the dentist does something similar when they are little, just to get them into the chair at first).

My mother-in-law said, "Oh, I guess this means I get to cut his hair when you visit!" which made me laugh because she has no idea what to when it comes to his tantrums, and not all that interested in kids to begin with.

He's just a challenging kid sometimes, very smart, very sweet, very independent, but when he doesn't like something...it's berserker time.

[ComputerNecromancer]

I have one word... Nair!

Bad idea. *Really* bad idea.

Nair will *burn* sensitive skin. Using it on the head is a bad idea (a friend tried it on his beard once and had obvious chemical burns for weeks.

A kid that young, no way. It might get into eyes or other places you don't want it.

[Mikkel]

He's just a challenging kid sometimes, very smart, very sweet, very independent, but when he doesn't like something...it's berserker time.

Goes with the independence, I guess.
Children that age change so fast. It may not be a problem next time he needs a haircut.
Otherwise trim his hair yourself. Sometime he will want to have a cut like his big brother and will therefore be motivated.

[Kogarashi]

Unfortunately I don't have much advice as I have only girls, so I've only had to cut bangs so far. If you're willing to tackle it yourself, you could always try giving him a haircut with clippers at home. Clipper sets can be not too expensive, and at least you have the option that if he squirms, he's less likely to get nicked with scissors.

I will say I've found it easier with my girls (who are already mellow, so I'm lucky) if I let them watch their older sibling first, if I explain what I'm doing while cutting their bangs the entire time, and with the youngest if I offer a treat if they can hold completely still for me.

I hadn't thought about taking him for a dry run though (the dentist does something similar when they are little, just to get them into the chair at first).

FIL is a family dentist and does the same. With each of my girls, when they're young enough, they don't even get full teeth cleanings. The hygienist just calls in FIL who counts the kid's teeth, then the hygienist hands over a paper bag with a kid-friendly toothbrush (currently orcas for handles, which my girls love), kid toothpaste, and dental floss, and takes them to pick out a sticker from the sticker rolls. Very easy, and the kids learn to not fear dental visits. Plus, at least with our most recent visit, I was allowed to have our youngest sit in my lap in the same room in an out-of-the-way corner while we watched her two older sisters get their cleaning, so she got to see it was nothing to be scared of.

[WishfulSpirit]

There's a picture of me having my first haircut in my mom's photo album. I don't think I screamed or kicked but I look highly unenthused with the whole process. I'll have to ask her how much of a little terror I was. I think I was almost 3 years old then, but as a girl, it was socially acceptable for my hair to be long. Darn gender rolls.