No really I *don't* work here!

[An Haddock]

After reading so many "I don't work here" stories, it does sound like some people are just asking a stranger for help, hoping they might be repeat shoppers at the location. I remember going to Home Depot or Lowe's at some point and someone asking me if I knew where *department* was. I was dressed in jeans, t-shirt and jeans jacket - but maybe they figured I was a contractor who frequented the place. I wasn't sure where *department* was, but helped them to find an employee who did.

Then again, some people are just crazy assholes. I remember a woman who posted a story on here before about some crazy bitch insisting that she worked there, despite obviously being there with her 3 year old son. And when the poster informed the crazy woman she didn't work there, her child asked why the woman was being rude. Crazy lady said she would get mom and her child both fired.

[WishfulSpirit]

I frequent Random Craft Store "where creativity happens" and I get asked a lot. That's because in my favorite section (Polymer Clay WOOOOO) I do know where stuff is. I also love talking about art, so I don't mind. Most people there approach me as if they know I don't work there but look like I know what I'm doing. They're more apologetic, and say things like "excuse me, do you happen to know where to find X?" It may also be that artists tend to like to talk about their craft, so striking up conversations with random strangers in craft stores is more acceptable than, say, the grocery store.

I did get asked for help in the Greens of Wall several times while wearing a pink polo shirt (their uniform is blue) and I was just as lost as anyone else. I'm still confused by that one.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I don't mind people asking me general things, such as "Could you please get this item down from this high shelf?" (I'm tall, this happens a lot) but being asked stuff that only someone who actually works at the location would know is annoying, especially if what I'm wearing is completely different from the staff's uniform and the person seems to think I work there, probably cuz it appears that way to the incompetent that anyone not wandering around aimlessly must work there.

[Sulhythal]

I sometimes wonder whether or not a small subset of this "I don't work here" types are due to colorblindness on the part of the one asking. If the style of the clothing is similar...

Mind you, only a small subset, I'm sure. And I highly doubt they would get irate and angry over being wrong. I think that absolute colorblindness is very rare, but certain other types are more common. Like Red/Green, my grandfather was red/green colorblind

[Slave to the Phone]

Lace, thank you for being willing to get things down for us short people, it is appreciated.

I don't mind if someone asks me where something is, but it does bother me when they demand that I show them were something is. There is a big difference between the 2.

Ask nicely because we are fellow shoppers trying to get our chores done and I will answer if I know. Demand because you assume that the woman wearing motorcycle leathers and carrying a helmet must work there and I will tell you that its on aisle 42, next to the red towels.

[wolfie]

Demand because you assume that the woman wearing motorcycle leathers and carrying a helmet must work there and I will tell you that its on aisle 42, next to the red towels.

Especially if you KNOW that it's on aisle 1.

[EricKei]

My theory is that retail staff retain an aura of retailness which persists even on your days off.

I like to call it the "Aura of Competence." They KNOW....they just....know.

Get out on U.S. 92, turn left. Drive about six miles,

...Go to the Slaugshon Cutoff, get out of your car, cut off your slaughson, get back in your car, go another ten miles...

[bunrotha]

Related lesson is to not wear a dark green polo when visiting a garden centre. It matters not a jot if that garden centre's staff wear purple polos, random folk will ask for help. I was.. not in a good way, having recently had my arm repaired, and wearing a full arm brace.

First couple of folk realised their mistake when I told them I didn't work there.

Third one- flat out told me I did work there, and to not shirk. I was momentarily gobsmacked by this, then realised I had an ideal opportunity to get out of jail free, as they say. Our unlucky person was invited to go **** himself, delivered in a low enough voice to not attract attention.

Of course, when he started trying to tell me he would get me fired, I just continued, and informed him he was not my customer, he was a <insert more bad words here> and should get out of the garden centre in question and not come back until he wasn't such a <more of that.>

I know I'm bad, I know I shouldn't really have done that, but it did feel good, and I do hope he spent a good long time going purple while trying to get someone who didn't work there fired.

[Food Lady]

Third one- flat out told me I did work there, and to not shirk. I was momentarily gobsmacked by this

I might be taken aback too, but as soon as I regained my composure my question would be "EXCUSE me? Are you calling me a liar??"--loudly--and I would've stared him down. If need be then it would be a request for security to come to my aid, as I don't appreciate being harassed while shopping. I don't take kindly to being called a liar.

[dalesys]

... Our unlucky person was invited to go **** himself, ...

... and since you are obviously too stupid to figure that out on your own, I will be happy to give you simple, detailed, instructions tailored to your plainly visible lack of competence...

[notalwaysright]

My honest reaction is to ask a bunch of questions in that horribly annoying way. You know... "You really think that I would deny working here if I did? How could I keep my job? If I did work here and was such a bad employee why would you want me to help you? Don't you think you should find someone else?" Notice the lack of response? That's because I'd cut them off repeatedly.

[TheSHAD0W]

Stupid question... Have any employees ever played the "I don't work here" card on you? Has anyone heard of anyone doing it?

[EricKei]

NAR -- Hell, one could tack on something like, "What, do you think I'm saying this just to avoid having to help you? I mean, I can certainly see WHY somebody would do that -- you're kinda an asshole, after all...but I'm not. As I said, I don't work here, and I don't have to put up with any of your shit. GO. AWAY."

[WishfulSpirit]

I've been asked in <local grocery store> and responded "why would you think I work here?" Yes my shirt is blue, but I was wearing it under a thick winter coat and had my wheelie with me. I have this natural "be nice" thing for any location near my work (as any person I encounter could be a guest at the hotel), and I'm really not that quick at snappy comebacks, but what I wanted to have said was

"I'm wearing a coat and hauling a wheelie. Are you so stupid you think my boss would let me work like this, or so self-centered you know I'm off the clock and just don't care?"

[bunrotha]

... and since you are obviously too stupid to figure that out on your own, I will be happy to give you simple, detailed, instructions tailored to your plainly visible lack of competence...

With full colour diagrams if necessary!