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Way Too Interested (Slightly NSFW)
3 years ago, I was in a fairly bad wreck. Spinal damage was done. Therapy was needed.
I found a wonderful chiropractic office, with some fantastic chiros, amazing massage therapists, and really sweet receptionists. I loved it there! But... there was this one Old Guy (OG) who just never had anything nice to say. He was there Every. Single. Week. Everyone hated that mean old man.
I had been a client for about 6 months, at this point, and it was my third appointment of the week.
I was hurting (no meds before appointment), tired (end of the day), hot (90℉ in the shade), and I just wanted to read my book before my appointment.
Because it was hot, I was wearing a pair of shorts.
Because of my spinal damage, I hadn't shaved my legs in several months.
OG decided that this was simply unacceptable!
While I sat in my wheelchair, jaw dropped in astonishment, this Ancient Bag of Dust and Dispair went on a 5+ minute rant about how disgusting and horribly unladylike it was. He proceeded to scream at me about how I should feel disgusted with myself.
He finally wound down by saying "Now what do you have to say for yourself!?"
I blinked, tipped my head, and had the most perfect come-back that I have ever managed before or since...
"You know... You're way too interested in my legs for someone who's never getting between them."
A pin could have fallen on the plush carpet of the treatment rooms, and it still would have been heard.
His eyes turned large as saucers.
His jowls began to wobble.
His face turned a shade of red which I have never found a way to replicate.
And then the laughter started.
Other clients.
Massage therapists.
The chiropractors.
The secretaries.
He stormed out screaming that he'd never be back!
The team all agreed. He was a fired client.
And that's the story of the day I managed a perfectly timed, ultra-derisive, amazingly humorous comeback, which led to a SC being banned from a chiropractors office.
*bows*
I found a wonderful chiropractic office, with some fantastic chiros, amazing massage therapists, and really sweet receptionists. I loved it there! But... there was this one Old Guy (OG) who just never had anything nice to say. He was there Every. Single. Week. Everyone hated that mean old man.
I had been a client for about 6 months, at this point, and it was my third appointment of the week.
I was hurting (no meds before appointment), tired (end of the day), hot (90℉ in the shade), and I just wanted to read my book before my appointment.
Because it was hot, I was wearing a pair of shorts.
Because of my spinal damage, I hadn't shaved my legs in several months.
OG decided that this was simply unacceptable!
While I sat in my wheelchair, jaw dropped in astonishment, this Ancient Bag of Dust and Dispair went on a 5+ minute rant about how disgusting and horribly unladylike it was. He proceeded to scream at me about how I should feel disgusted with myself.
He finally wound down by saying "Now what do you have to say for yourself!?"
I blinked, tipped my head, and had the most perfect come-back that I have ever managed before or since...
"You know... You're way too interested in my legs for someone who's never getting between them."
A pin could have fallen on the plush carpet of the treatment rooms, and it still would have been heard.
His eyes turned large as saucers.
His jowls began to wobble.
His face turned a shade of red which I have never found a way to replicate.
And then the laughter started.
Other clients.
Massage therapists.
The chiropractors.
The secretaries.
He stormed out screaming that he'd never be back!
The team all agreed. He was a fired client.
And that's the story of the day I managed a perfectly timed, ultra-derisive, amazingly humorous comeback, which led to a SC being banned from a chiropractors office.
*bows*
(a picture does paint 1,000 words, so I suppose my first statement was false...)
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