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1. Attempted obliteration. If you're throwing things behind the bar, check to see who's walking across whilst you do it. Braining me with a box may get me some stars.It will not get you any.
2. Slapstick stretching. Either deal with my drink or take the phone call. Don't try and do both. Attempting to pour my G&T onehanded whilst the phone cord stretches ever further down the bar will produce one of two results-either the phone will be ripped off the wall or you will go shooting comically backwards down the bar. And however amusing it will be, it won't get my drink to me any quicker.
3.Tell me that if the order is incorrect,'there won't be a second chance'. Ham,eggs and chips is not difficult.Three items I expect to be present and correct. If they are not, I will send it back until they are.
4.Phone lolcatz.I don't know what's so important on your phone that has to be shared with the kitchen.I do know my meal is 20 minutes late and apparently that's because you're busy.I am also sat outside the kitchen doors which have handily placed windows.
Feed me and then you can amuse the kitchen.Unless you're actually searching for the recipe.In which case I can assist.Chips-get potatoes,fry.Eggs-get eggs,fry.Ham-get ham,cook.Arrange on plate.
5.Bodily thingies.The handily placed windows also mean I can see when you're sneezing,coughing,wiping or scratching various bodily parts. And then coming out straight away with orders.If you don't wipe yourself before my order comes out,it may very well be sent straight back in again....
2. Slapstick stretching. Either deal with my drink or take the phone call. Don't try and do both. Attempting to pour my G&T onehanded whilst the phone cord stretches ever further down the bar will produce one of two results-either the phone will be ripped off the wall or you will go shooting comically backwards down the bar. And however amusing it will be, it won't get my drink to me any quicker.
3.Tell me that if the order is incorrect,'there won't be a second chance'. Ham,eggs and chips is not difficult.Three items I expect to be present and correct. If they are not, I will send it back until they are.
4.Phone lolcatz.I don't know what's so important on your phone that has to be shared with the kitchen.I do know my meal is 20 minutes late and apparently that's because you're busy.I am also sat outside the kitchen doors which have handily placed windows.
Feed me and then you can amuse the kitchen.Unless you're actually searching for the recipe.In which case I can assist.Chips-get potatoes,fry.Eggs-get eggs,fry.Ham-get ham,cook.Arrange on plate.5.Bodily thingies.The handily placed windows also mean I can see when you're sneezing,coughing,wiping or scratching various bodily parts. And then coming out straight away with orders.If you don't wipe yourself before my order comes out,it may very well be sent straight back in again....
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