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Wherein a SC delays my caffeine dose
First I need to explain something. What you Americans call "fries" we call shoestring chips (because they are so thin compared to our hot chips). Our hot chips are (as defined by our food standards authority) - potatoes cut 1 cm wide and deep fried in vegetable oil. 1 cm is about .4 inch.
So after lunch today I had to go to the nearest large shopping center. I normally have a large coffee after lunch, but today being shopping day, I was going to have a coffee and some baked product at a small cafe before I tackled the supermarket.
First thing I noticed was the fire alarm sounding. It was loud. It kept going. I did not see any flames or smell smoke, there was no one running so after a short time I decided to go into the center and see what was going on. I was going to the Coffee Club a nice place where the girls all have the same last name (Barista what a coincidence!) :-)
Then I decided I should go to another place closer to the supermarket. This particular cafe has been previously avoided by me for bad service. Waitresses who don't care a lot. A manager who calls everyone "Love".
Bad move. There was a line. The manager was standing at the cash register explaining to the customer standing there that they could not serve anyone while the alarm was sounding. Just then a security guard arrived and said it was a false alarm and they were just waiting for the fire brigade to give the all clear.
The alarm stopped.
The manager started taking orders again.
A young waitress took a plate from the kitchen to a table just near me, and asked "Who ordered the steak sandwich?"
Now this plate had a toasted sandwich on it, but the sandwich was half off the plate, because the rest of the plate was piled high with extra large hot chips. They were nearly off the plate, there was so many of them and they were so large and long.
The woman at the table spoke. She had a voice like a crow cawing. An Australian crow with a horrible disease. Click the link to hear a real Australian crow. This woman said, "I ordered a steak sammich, but that's not what I ordered!"
An icy chill went down my spine. I felt like someone had scraped their fingernails over a blackboard. My spidey sense for sucky customers didn't just tingle, it was Quasimodo in my head saying "The bells, the bells!" I knew what was coming. The waitress was oblivious to the danger. She looked confused.
This SC was already hideous, but the scowl over her face made things much worse. She spoke again. "I just ordered a steak sammich with tomatoes and onions and NOTHING ELSE." All the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
The oblivious waitress answered, "That's how it is on our menu."
The scowl became deeper. The screeching voice rose in volume. "I didn't see a menu! I just ordered a steak sammich with tomatoes and onions and NOTHING ELSE."
Gerund's first rule of Suck:- when they manage to repeat themselves, word for word, more suck will follow rapidly. Time to run.
I remained stuck to the spot. Unable to stop watching a train wreck in progress. I knew what was next.
The waitress said, "That's what you ordered then." and plonked the plate down on the table. She turned and ran for the counter, imagining there was safety behind it. The old hag lept to her feet and grabbed the plate, nearly beating the waitress to the counter.
This SC may well have been on a diet. She looked too small for the dress she was wearing, indeed she looked too small for her skin. Up closer she was more repulsive and the voice had risen some more. Imagine those crows cawing right inside your ear. My eardrum was going to burst.
She handed over the plate with the words "That's not what I ordered - I just ordered a steak sammich with tomatoes and onions and NOTHING ELSE."
Gerund's second law of suck, if the repetition continues, it's going to get ugly. Run!
I remained. It was a train wreck and I couldn't stop watching.
This threw all the staff behind the counter into mass confusion. The lady who was attempting to take the order from man in front of me grabbed the plate, walked first in one direction, then in the other. The original waitress was trying to hide. Another lady behind the counter was trying to talk to the hag.
She raised her voice until she was screaming, "I DIDN'T COME HERE TO HAVE SOME SLIP OF A GIRL SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! I JUST ORDERED A STEAK SAMMICH WITH TOMATOES AND ONIONS AND NOTHING ELSE."
The lady with the plate stopped dead and tried to speak to the SC. The other lady was also trying to speak to her. The solid concrete floor behind the counter had swallowed the waitress whole.
This time I listened to myself. I turned and walked to the other coffee shop. I didn't run. A man has to show some dignity in the face of such enormous suck.
Susie Barista took my order, professionally, calmly and with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Wendy Waitress delivered a delicious coffee and baked item to my table. Sally Barista then asked me if there was anything more I needed, called me "Sir" and took the number off my table.
There was no screaming or yelling, no mention of a steak sammich and no suck.
So after lunch today I had to go to the nearest large shopping center. I normally have a large coffee after lunch, but today being shopping day, I was going to have a coffee and some baked product at a small cafe before I tackled the supermarket.
First thing I noticed was the fire alarm sounding. It was loud. It kept going. I did not see any flames or smell smoke, there was no one running so after a short time I decided to go into the center and see what was going on. I was going to the Coffee Club a nice place where the girls all have the same last name (Barista what a coincidence!) :-)
Then I decided I should go to another place closer to the supermarket. This particular cafe has been previously avoided by me for bad service. Waitresses who don't care a lot. A manager who calls everyone "Love".
Bad move. There was a line. The manager was standing at the cash register explaining to the customer standing there that they could not serve anyone while the alarm was sounding. Just then a security guard arrived and said it was a false alarm and they were just waiting for the fire brigade to give the all clear.
The alarm stopped.
The manager started taking orders again.
A young waitress took a plate from the kitchen to a table just near me, and asked "Who ordered the steak sandwich?"
Now this plate had a toasted sandwich on it, but the sandwich was half off the plate, because the rest of the plate was piled high with extra large hot chips. They were nearly off the plate, there was so many of them and they were so large and long.
The woman at the table spoke. She had a voice like a crow cawing. An Australian crow with a horrible disease. Click the link to hear a real Australian crow. This woman said, "I ordered a steak sammich, but that's not what I ordered!"
An icy chill went down my spine. I felt like someone had scraped their fingernails over a blackboard. My spidey sense for sucky customers didn't just tingle, it was Quasimodo in my head saying "The bells, the bells!" I knew what was coming. The waitress was oblivious to the danger. She looked confused.
This SC was already hideous, but the scowl over her face made things much worse. She spoke again. "I just ordered a steak sammich with tomatoes and onions and NOTHING ELSE." All the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
The oblivious waitress answered, "That's how it is on our menu."
The scowl became deeper. The screeching voice rose in volume. "I didn't see a menu! I just ordered a steak sammich with tomatoes and onions and NOTHING ELSE."
Gerund's first rule of Suck:- when they manage to repeat themselves, word for word, more suck will follow rapidly. Time to run.
I remained stuck to the spot. Unable to stop watching a train wreck in progress. I knew what was next.
The waitress said, "That's what you ordered then." and plonked the plate down on the table. She turned and ran for the counter, imagining there was safety behind it. The old hag lept to her feet and grabbed the plate, nearly beating the waitress to the counter.
This SC may well have been on a diet. She looked too small for the dress she was wearing, indeed she looked too small for her skin. Up closer she was more repulsive and the voice had risen some more. Imagine those crows cawing right inside your ear. My eardrum was going to burst.
She handed over the plate with the words "That's not what I ordered - I just ordered a steak sammich with tomatoes and onions and NOTHING ELSE."
Gerund's second law of suck, if the repetition continues, it's going to get ugly. Run!
I remained. It was a train wreck and I couldn't stop watching.
This threw all the staff behind the counter into mass confusion. The lady who was attempting to take the order from man in front of me grabbed the plate, walked first in one direction, then in the other. The original waitress was trying to hide. Another lady behind the counter was trying to talk to the hag.
She raised her voice until she was screaming, "I DIDN'T COME HERE TO HAVE SOME SLIP OF A GIRL SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! I JUST ORDERED A STEAK SAMMICH WITH TOMATOES AND ONIONS AND NOTHING ELSE."
The lady with the plate stopped dead and tried to speak to the SC. The other lady was also trying to speak to her. The solid concrete floor behind the counter had swallowed the waitress whole.
This time I listened to myself. I turned and walked to the other coffee shop. I didn't run. A man has to show some dignity in the face of such enormous suck.
Susie Barista took my order, professionally, calmly and with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Wendy Waitress delivered a delicious coffee and baked item to my table. Sally Barista then asked me if there was anything more I needed, called me "Sir" and took the number off my table.
There was no screaming or yelling, no mention of a steak sammich and no suck.
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