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Two people just made me laugh today, and I really needed to laugh today.
This morning, I took my monthly trip through Salt Lake City to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital for a round of blood tests and x-rays and such. (For those who may be interested, the tests have been coming back negative for over six months now, so I may be in the clear!) I had two sightings, though they can only be called customers in a very loose sense.
I'm Helping!
I checked in at the radiology desk and filled out the short form I always have to fill out before a CT scan. I handed it to the girl behind the desk, and she said she'd call me back shortly. I thanked her and disappeared around the corner to pay homage to the porcelain god. I couldn't have been gone more than three minutes--four at the most.
While I was gone, the receptionist needed to ask me a question and had called my name. For obvious reasons, I didn't hear and didn't come to the desk. When I came back from the restroom, I saw an older woman standing at the desk, and I didn't think anything of it until I tuned in on what she was saying.
Older Woman: (astonished, vaguely concerned) I don't see him!
Receptionist: ... Excuse me?
Older Woman: I don't see him anywhere!
Receptionist: Are you looking for someone?
Older Woman: No, you are.
Receptionist: Oh, well, I--
Older Woman: Is he a little person?
Receptionist: What?
Older Woman: That HawaiianShirts you're looking for! Is he a little person?
Receptionist: A little person?
Older Woman: Like a midget! If he is, you can't see him when you're sitting down behind this tall counter!
Receptionist: But, I--
Older Woman: Come on, now! Stand up! You can't find midgets if you don't stand up!
I had to break in at that point. I should have broken in earlier, but my brain was moving rather slowly, partially from the contrast solution I had to drink before the scan and partially from this woman's absurd comments. I just went up to the receptionist and apologized for having to run away for a few minutes. The Older Woman silently retreated to a chair.
I think she was trying to be helpful, even if she was doing it in a somewhat intrusive way... Her train of thought took a strange detour, though. Among other things, I wonder how she thought she could recognize me after having heard my name. And where did she ever get the idea that I was a midget?
Trax Tantrum
I thought of SmileyEagle when I witnessed this one. He usually has some good public transit stories.
I took Trax (Salt Lake City's light rail train system--kind of like an above-ground subway) to and from Huntsman. I like riding the trains, and I have to have something to balance out the unpleasantness of needles and cancer tests. I have to make one transfer both ways.
On the way back from Huntsman, I got off the University train at the transfer point and waited for the southbound train. I noticed two police officers there. Their attention was trained on one guy whose appearance reminded me of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. At least, I think this guy is what Shaggy would look like if he didn't change his clothes, wash his hair, or eat for a week.
When I got off the train, one officer was locking the cuffs around this guy's wrists and making him sit down on a bench. It was windy, and I couldn't get close enough to hear the conversation without seeming suspicious, but it was obvious he was in trouble for something. One of the officers was asking questions, and the other started taking notes. The only words I understood from any of them were this...
Shaggy, who has been sitting calmly on the bench up 'til now and mumbling answers to the one officer's questions, suddenly stomps both feet on the pavement, shakes his head violently, and shouts, "But I don't need a pass!" Simultaneously, both officers grabbed him and held him to make sure he didn't try to go anywhere.
I could guess why he was there (trying to ride the Trax trains without paying and getting belligerent with the officers), but I don't know for certain. And my train came by before I could get anything more from the observation. Still, I couldn't help thinking about a whiny three-year-old getting mad about having to wear a seatbelt or eat vegetables or something and proclaiming that he didn't need them.
This morning, I took my monthly trip through Salt Lake City to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital for a round of blood tests and x-rays and such. (For those who may be interested, the tests have been coming back negative for over six months now, so I may be in the clear!) I had two sightings, though they can only be called customers in a very loose sense.
I'm Helping!
I checked in at the radiology desk and filled out the short form I always have to fill out before a CT scan. I handed it to the girl behind the desk, and she said she'd call me back shortly. I thanked her and disappeared around the corner to pay homage to the porcelain god. I couldn't have been gone more than three minutes--four at the most.
While I was gone, the receptionist needed to ask me a question and had called my name. For obvious reasons, I didn't hear and didn't come to the desk. When I came back from the restroom, I saw an older woman standing at the desk, and I didn't think anything of it until I tuned in on what she was saying.
Older Woman: (astonished, vaguely concerned) I don't see him!
Receptionist: ... Excuse me?
Older Woman: I don't see him anywhere!
Receptionist: Are you looking for someone?
Older Woman: No, you are.
Receptionist: Oh, well, I--
Older Woman: Is he a little person?
Receptionist: What?
Older Woman: That HawaiianShirts you're looking for! Is he a little person?
Receptionist: A little person?
Older Woman: Like a midget! If he is, you can't see him when you're sitting down behind this tall counter!
Receptionist: But, I--
Older Woman: Come on, now! Stand up! You can't find midgets if you don't stand up!
I had to break in at that point. I should have broken in earlier, but my brain was moving rather slowly, partially from the contrast solution I had to drink before the scan and partially from this woman's absurd comments. I just went up to the receptionist and apologized for having to run away for a few minutes. The Older Woman silently retreated to a chair.
I think she was trying to be helpful, even if she was doing it in a somewhat intrusive way... Her train of thought took a strange detour, though. Among other things, I wonder how she thought she could recognize me after having heard my name. And where did she ever get the idea that I was a midget?
Trax Tantrum
I thought of SmileyEagle when I witnessed this one. He usually has some good public transit stories.
I took Trax (Salt Lake City's light rail train system--kind of like an above-ground subway) to and from Huntsman. I like riding the trains, and I have to have something to balance out the unpleasantness of needles and cancer tests. I have to make one transfer both ways.
On the way back from Huntsman, I got off the University train at the transfer point and waited for the southbound train. I noticed two police officers there. Their attention was trained on one guy whose appearance reminded me of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. At least, I think this guy is what Shaggy would look like if he didn't change his clothes, wash his hair, or eat for a week.
When I got off the train, one officer was locking the cuffs around this guy's wrists and making him sit down on a bench. It was windy, and I couldn't get close enough to hear the conversation without seeming suspicious, but it was obvious he was in trouble for something. One of the officers was asking questions, and the other started taking notes. The only words I understood from any of them were this...
Shaggy, who has been sitting calmly on the bench up 'til now and mumbling answers to the one officer's questions, suddenly stomps both feet on the pavement, shakes his head violently, and shouts, "But I don't need a pass!" Simultaneously, both officers grabbed him and held him to make sure he didn't try to go anywhere.
I could guess why he was there (trying to ride the Trax trains without paying and getting belligerent with the officers), but I don't know for certain. And my train came by before I could get anything more from the observation. Still, I couldn't help thinking about a whiny three-year-old getting mad about having to wear a seatbelt or eat vegetables or something and proclaiming that he didn't need them.
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