f*cking mebership records

[smileyeagle1021]

*disclaimer- I'm not intending this to be a religious rant, just a rant about employees of a church, no different than a rant against employees of any other organization... that said, there is no way to completely take out all religious overtone*

OK, as many of you know by now, I'm gay (I hope that's not too much of a shock to most of you ) and I was (or at least I want that to be past tense) a member of the LDS church... of course there are rules against being out and being an active member. So, I did the responsible thing, when I came out I sent a request to member services to have me removed from the church since I know my choice to come out was in contradiction to church rules. Seems simple enough, I send a request to member services explaining that I know I can't live by church rules, please remove me from the church... simple right.

Well, that's what I thought too. No, today after 2 months of hearing nothing back from the church I received a letter. It said that my request to have my membership removed was denied (which, btw is illegal, religious organizations are required by law to accept any good faith request to have membership removed), that my request had been forwarded to my local ecclesiastical leadership, should I wish to pursue my membership removal further, and that by the way, they were transferring my record to a different ward so that I wouldn't even have the advantage of dealing with ward leadership that I was already familiar with.

What the

I know as well as they do that the only end result of me coming back to the church is that they later put me in front of a church discipline committee and excommunicate me... how the is that beneficial for either me or the church?

So needless to say... my day has pretty much been ruined... hell, my week has now been ruined because what was supposed to be a simple process is now turning into an ongoing struggle, *extends middle finger in general direction of the membership records office*

ETA- for those who want to see the full text of the letter they sent me and my commentary, please see my thread in Fratching

[SengaKitty]

Oh boy... Honey you know i'm around WHENEVER you want to talk, any time day or night

[Kiwi]

I have PM'd you, hopefully with something that will solve your problem.

[One-Fang]

Well, if it's actually illegal, copy that law down, send it to them and tell them where to go.

Frankly, what's the problem with just ignoring these people from now on? If they write to you, throw it out. If they phone you, hang up. What could they possibly want that would benefit you in any way? You wish to sever ties with them - simply do so.

Leaving by their rules shouldn't be necessary.

[SG15Z]

Wow, what asses.


Yes that's all I have to say. I couldn't think of anything else that was non-fratching, so yeah. Fin.

[smileyeagle1021]

Frankly, what's the problem with just ignoring these people from now on?

Leaving by their rules shouldn't be necessary.

you're right... leaving by their rules shouldn't be necessary... that said, there is something to be said about making sure I'm no longer counted as a member... if they aren't going to accept me for who I am, then I don't see why they should be able to use me to bolster their numbers.

[Kiwi]

Frankly, what's the problem with just ignoring these people from now on?

I tried to leave by the 'rules' when I was 18 (I'm 25 now) and just last week was emailed for the umpteenth time about my lack of activity despite my request not to be contacted and my official resignation letter being received (I know it was because a family friend who works in the church office rang me up scandalised at what I was doing).

When this person found out I was now living across the world (oh your living in Canada?) she said she would forward on my details to the local ward, again despite me saying I wanted no contact whatsoever.

They know damn well that rejecting a letter of resignation is illegal in Smiley's country, it's not okay to break the law no matter who you are.

I have a great respect for LDS members that are kind, caring people, I know many. Unfortunately just like every organisation religious or not, they have people who wont take no for an answer.

Sub the religious aspect out for any other club or group and the issue would be the same. At least to me, no one should be forced or pressured to be part of anything that makes them feel unwanted or uncomfortable.

[smileyeagle1021]

I tried to leave by the 'rules' when I was 18 (I'm 25 now) and just last week was emailed for the umpteenth time about my lack of activity despite my request not to be contacted .

you know... I'm having the same thing... it would be one thing if I was getting calls like "hey, some of the guys were planning on a bowling night, we know it didn't work out with you in the church, but we'd still like it if you came"... no, they are calling asking when they can talk to me about becoming active in the church again. Though I do have a new respect for my old Elders Quorum President and Bishop, because I'm getting the feeling that the reason my record was transferred was because they didn't want any part in that game.

[sixums]

I know as well as they do that the only end result of me coming back to the church is that they later put me in front of a church discipline committee and excommunicate me... how the is that beneficial for either me or the church?

Whiskey Tango FOXTROT!

So instead of quietly leaving the church because you respect their rules, they essentially try and humiliate you?

Ignore them. You tried doing the right thing. If they can't play by their own rules, there's no reason for you to associate them.

[tropicsgoddess]

That's just fucked up!

[fireheart]

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

That's all.

[PepperElf]

so they're going to try to force you to be a member still?

what are they going to do? go to your house, cuff you and drag you to service? spam you with unwanted mail?

I'd say... consult a lawyer ... this sounds a lot like they're purposefully harassing you because of your choice. hate crime!

[Peppergirl]

Are they going to put you in a bad outfit and humiliate you like Barb on Big Love?

Ok, Ok - sorry - bad example. Was trying to lighten your mood a bit.

But anyway, that's BS. A member cant just leave the church, you have to be publicly renounced and humilated? Are you considered 'Apostate' now, or what? Wait, that might be FLDS. Do they really call a committee and talk about all the bad things you did and how you're shut out for all eternity?



I feel so bad for you, honey. PM me if there's anything I can do!

[smileyeagle1021]

you have to be publicly renounced and humilated?

it's not public, and you could argue that they honestly believe the intention is to change my ways and truly come back to the church, but short answer is yes if I don't change my ways they can disfellowship or excommunicate me.

And this isn't a churchwide thing... I know that most people send in their letter, the person who receives it at member records says "oh, a resignation" pulls the member record, and handles it quickly and professionally... I just had the bad luck of having one of the people who believes it's their duty to save everyone who writes in soul that received my request and forwarded my record to someone else who likewise feels it's their duty to save everyone's soul.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Huh, this church membership sounds a lot like a deal with the Devil.

You sign your soul to a particular being of worship, and cannot get out at your own request. Contract can only be voided by the ones who wrote it, so you're stuck whether you collect the gold and power promised by the agreement.

... you DID get gold and power, right?