I snarled at a scammer today...

[NightWatch]

If a strange man cornered me as I was making a withdrawal from an ATM, I'd mace him. Then while he's blinded, I'd beat him til I was sure he wouldn't be moving for a while, then run away crying like a little girl... Any smart man with good intentions should know better then to ever corner a lady in a strange place.

Like when I went dancing, I was leaning against a wall and talking to my friend when a guy came up to talk to me, inadvertantly trapping me, he suffered a knee to the groin.

[SG15Z]

Oh man! I went to a Flying J truck stop to get some M&M's at an obscene hour. This guy comes up and gives me this spiel about how his truck (the 18-wheeler sort) is up on the freeway (you can see the freeway from there, I saw no truck) and he is out of gas blah blah blah.
In my best innocent child impersonation, I hold up my $2 and proudly announce, "Yes!!! I have $2 whole dollars!" Guy starts to smile and reach for it... "And I'm gonna use it to buy M&M's!!" I snapped the money back into my pocket and skipped inside. He didn't seem too pleased. Hehe!

Wow that was mean....I'm so gonna do that!

[Imogene]

My only panhandler story takes place at a weekly Rocky Horror Shadow Cast performance, about two hours before the movie started. I'm standing out on the sidewalk, enjoying the night air, dressed like a rockabilly gal... and some guy comes driving up in a van, opens the passenger window, and asks for gas money to get wherever it was he was going.

I just started for a moment, and said, "So, you're low on gas, but you're driving around looking for money to get more gas? Shouldn't you try, I dunno, driving there first? If you run out on the way, THAT's when you ask for money for gas."

Guy peels out and starts circling the parking lot, apparently watching me, as, anytime I turn toward his car, he's staring at me. I'm a freak, and proud of it, so, I care not. And there's security inside, and a press of people at the ticket window.

[hecubus]

A few years ago, when I was in New York City with some friends, we basically had one rule for whether or not we would give a panhandler money. They had to tell us the truth about what they were going to use the money for, or, at least, it had to sound like the truth.

I remember one guy came up to us, and we asked him why he wanted the money, and he told us he had had a rough day and really needed a beer. He got a couple bucks.

The one thing to remember if you expect to see panhandlers and are planning on giving some money, carry some cash in your shirt or jacket pocket so you don't have to get your wallet out. Much safer that way. Also, if there are several panhandlers in one area, it's best not to give money to any of them, because, if you give money to one, you will be swarmed by the rest.

[Sparky]

There's a spot where there's usually someone holding a sign, generally "family hungry, please help" or something like that. I drove by one day and there was a middle-aged man holding the usual sign. Beside him was some old guy with long hair and a big beard -- looked like he'd been homeless a long time -- holding a sign with nothing but scribbles on it. He was smiling; beaming like anything.

Cracked me up. Wish I could have gotten a picture, or at least given the old coot a dollar just for being cute. But I was driving and traffic was moving so I had to keep moving too.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I don't think Lupo went overboard at all. I react pretty much the same way, I'm not going to sit there and pretend I don't know what the person wants when he approaches me. I'm sorry, I've been approached by these people so many times it's been like running a gauntlet some days. I used to work downtown.

Here's the thing, if someone doesn't want to deal with an aggressive, rude, threatening woman, (me, for instance) don't approach me in a parking lot if you are a strange man. Strange men approaching women in parking lots deserve whatever they get, that is aggressive and threatening behavior.

Nightwatch is dead on, an honest man would never do such a thing.

Heck, I'm even ruder than Lupo was. I told a guy to pound sand once before he'd even got his speil out.

I was out grabbing a bite from one of the guys from my band and this guy came up to us as we were sitting around outside. Conversation follows:

Panhandler: So, which one of you wears the pants?
Me: I do.
Panhandler: Can I talk to you a minu-
Me: No.
Panhandler:
Me: Take a hike.

After giving me a look like I was a piece of shit, he slunk off.

Santi: Of course, you realize now that you're the asshole.
Me: I'm okay with that.

[Andara Bledin]

Nekojin & I got approached by someone looking for a handout yesterday, not a scammer, though.

The weird part about it is that we actually recognized the guy that was asking, although it was obvious that he didn't recognize us at all. I'm fairly certain the guy either receives or needs some sort of medication for behavioral issues.

As usual, however, we have no cash on us, so we have nothing to give.

^-.-^

[BuggedMei]

I travel through NYC alot visiting various friends and always get hit with one or two guys begging for money while navigating the subways. The worst are the ones that camp the shuttle subway. Same lady, same sob story. Lost her job, starving kids, please spare some cash. They always EXPECT donations because your trapped in the same spot with them for a good 5 minutes. She gives me the evil eye now when I refuse to give her anything but a snack. I've seen some poor clueless tourists dump $20 on this woman.

Panhandlers at convention times too! They always come crawling out while I'm stuffed in a huge costume, scared out of my mind because I'm desperate to get out of a costume I can barely walk in and away from the creepy guy chasing me for a block because I won't give him any money. >< I even started considering building in spots I can hide mace in. >_>; Friend of mine got fresh with a panhandler and got her ass kicked, costume and all.

[Dreamstalker]

My costume is such that there are a few places to hide mace and the like (although even self-defense items are considered weapons here and are therefore technically illegal which is ridiculous).

I've noticed a few panhandlers (one of whom I actually recognize from trying the "ride" scam) will try to provoke anyone ignoring them; I was walking downtown the other day and ducked into a store. When I came out, I recognized him and his buddy; they were flanking the sidewalk so I had no choice but to pass between them. Luckily, neither one tried to touch me but the bigger of the two hollered in my ear: "What, you afraid of black people now?"

Five seconds later he was being "questioned" by a construction worker who saw the whole thing.

[Canarr]

Here's the thing, if someone doesn't want to deal with an aggressive, rude, threatening woman, (me, for instance) don't approach me in a parking lot if you are a strange man. Strange men approaching women in parking lots deserve whatever they get, that is aggressive and threatening behavior.

I'm sorry; what? Are you saying that any man approaching a woman in a parking lot - to ask for, say, the time, or the nearest bus stop, or whatever - is being aggressive and threatening? And it's then okay for the woman to blow up at him?

Please tell me I just misunderstood you there.

[lupo pazzesco]

I'm sorry; what? Are you saying that any man approaching a woman in a parking lot - to ask for, say, the time, or the nearest bus stop, or whatever - is being aggressive and threatening? And it's then okay for the woman to blow up at him?

Please tell me I just misunderstood you there.

Given the thread topic, I think Kinkoid is referring to the panhandlers that approach women in parking lots. I have no problem if a guy comes up asking for the time or the nearest bus stop, both of which I'll provide if I can. However, if they ask that, and then segue into "Hey, gimme bus fare" or (in my case, this happens far FAR too often) an attempt to get my number/hit on me/try to ask me out and won't take no for an answer, I think it's allowable for me to get aggressive right back.

I don't know what it is, but something in certain societies has a mindset that thinks women are meek, and compassionate, and as such are easy marks for the parking lot panhandlers. I think an easy 90-95% of the time I'm in a parking lot, and say, there are 4 or 5 people, 3-4 of which are male, it's the females who are approached first by people wanting money.

Just my observations/experiences.

[MapGirl]

I'm sorry; what? Are you saying that any man approaching a woman in a parking lot - to ask for, say, the time, or the nearest bus stop, or whatever - is being aggressive and threatening? And it's then okay for the woman to blow up at him?

Please tell me I just misunderstood you there.

A lot of women, especially the 25% of us who've been raped or assaulted, operate on a rather 'high alert' status. This is amplified after dark, in a strange place, when our hands are full or when we're alone. Most of us won't "blow up" at you, but many will perceive any approach by a strange man as threatening. Ted Bundy approached women in an 'innocent enough' manner, in public.

I'm not saying it excuses the behavior (no innocent person deserves to be yelled at), but I hope that at least explains it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Without fail, every single time I have been approached by a panhandler in a lot, the SOB has come up quietly out of my range of vision while I'm trying to open my car and said "Can I talk to you a minute?" loudly enough and closely enough to startle me.

Considering that I AM on "high alert", the fkers had to work to come up on me unawares. The goal is to startle and catch me off guard.

THAT is aggressive behavior.

And if it's dark, yeah. I don't care what the situation is. Don't approach women in parking lots if it's dark. If you don't mean any harm, fine. Be aware that since it's a given that a woman is going to be nervous about such an approach, you are coming across as threatening.

I've been approached once in a parking lot by a man who was not a panhandler. Once in my entire life. And that guy was probably a would-be rapist that got dragged through the parking lot with his arm rolled up in my car window.

So yeah. Men: stay away from me in the damn parking lot. I may not blow up at you, but you can rest assured I will not act in such a way to suggest that I trust you.

[LadyAndreca]

I really try to avoid panhandlers...around here, there's a small group of them that frequents the food court at the mall, selling small cheap keychains with a tag that reads something about being 'jobless and deaf' on them. They're usually polite, though, because they know they'll get kicked out if someone complains to mall security.

Where I went to college there were two or three regulars, but they were also really homeless. A cheeky lady who had everything on a handcart with her, an older guy who would sleep in the parks and we saw in McD's late at night with lots of change a lot, and the third was even older and usually angry and drunk and yelling at nobody. I liked the first two but everyone avoided the third.

My dad has his own way of handling these things...he's a big guy but a softie at heart. He'll say "I won't give you money, but I'll buy you lunch", and I know he's done it before. The story that sticks out was when he was at a gas station and met a woman with a car packed full of kids and bags and crying because she didn't have gas--he said it looked like she was trying to leave a bad situation and he felt horrible he only had five bucks to fill her tank with (and worse when he remembered later he could have filled her tank with a credit card).

[Arm]

We used to have some cool homeless folks around here, but they've either died or moved away. All that's left are the scammers and the crazies.

The cool ones were nice... like... we had these two old ladies who would sit there and sell flowers under an overhand near one of the banks. I still don't know where they got the flowers; as far as I'm aware they lived in the homeless shelter and I never saw flower gardens there. They were cool, but they aren't there any more. Perhaps they've since passed away, or perhaps they made enough money to move (I like to think so).

Nowadays we just get scammers. They flock to the local university, because the hospital is there, and the student body gets refreshed every year. The gas scam is common, but so is simply sitting on (and thus preventing anyone else from using) some of the very nice benches the city just spent boat-loads of money on, not saying anything, with a box. It's like busking, but without any of the actual effort involved. And they sit there aaaalllll day. Until they go back to the homeless shelter a block away.

We also get the guys that do shifts on street corners or the median next to the turn lanes and on/off ramps. There's one who carries a sign that says "Truly homeless, live in woods, wife has ovarian cancer, please help"
Heartwrenching indeed... except... he's had that sign for years. Wifey be dead now, yo... if that were true, that is. And again, if it were true, the hospital would treat the wife regardless. Since, y'know, it's less than three miles away(I think... maybe 4), and people would speak Very Sternly to them if they were to deny life-saving care to someone.

She wouldn't even have to walk to get to the hospital, since the city operates free busses that go out that way. Maybe not QUITE to his little concrete island, but very close.

It's really rather sick, the way the city here panders to these scammers. On the one hand, the residents here say, oh, we shouldn't encourage them... on the other hand, the city/county runs around doing things like installing a hojillion new benches along the road where the panhandlers stand. And now they sit, in style. And nobody else will ever use those benches, because man, that's prime squatting ground apparently.
The ones along the major roads? They now have those bright orange road guard vests. Given to them by the local government, to keep them from getting run over. I guess the concept of relocating them, or taxing their income, didn't fly.

My gal, when she first came to the area and saw the panhandlers in their bright orange vests, she thought they were construction crews and didn't understand why they had *hand-written* signs.

My local government is insane.