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  • More Plaid Suck

    Again, not the guy. The place he works.

    So, my new friend, Boo took me out on the town because I was upset about something and good ol' P-man was at work. So, Boo and I decide to go bug Mr. P. We were there for 10-20 minutes and we saw three instances of suck, well, one wasn't so much sucky. It was funny/sucky.

    "It's called the law."

    So, Boo, Plaid, and I were talking when two ladies walked in and started mozing around. When they were done, they brought up a 18 pack of Coors Lite. So, doing his job, Plaid asks for id. One woman pulled hers out.

    Plaid: "I'm sorry, but I need both of you to show me your id."
    Second Lady : "But I don't have my id."
    Plaid: "I can't sell you this then."
    First Lady: "What does she have to do with it? I'm buying!"
    Plaid: "I just have to see both of your ids."
    First Lady: "Fine!"

    As they walk out.

    First Lady: "That is so stupid!"
    Boo: "It's called the law!"
    Plaid and McG:

    Nice try buddy!

    We go back to talking. A guy walks in. My Hoodlum Sense was tingling. Don't ask why. Guy walks up to the counter with an energy drink and a dollar bill, hands the bill to Plaid, and attempts to walk off.

    Plaid: "Hey! I need to scan that!"
    Idjit: "Oh really?"
    Plaid: *scans* "That comes to a dollar and four cents."
    Idjit: "I don't have the four cents."
    Plaid: "Then I guess you don't get this."
    Idjit walks out to his car, leaving can in the store. Plaid takes the pennies out of the Take-a- Penny Leave-a-Penny.
    Plaid: "Ugh. Idiots."
    Guy walks back in and gives him a nickel, takes the can, and leaves.
    McG:

    I'm so glad they were buying condoms

    We, the Wonder Trio, went back to talking, when two guys came in. They went over to the area where asprin,condoms, etc were kept.

    Hoodlum1: "Dang! Look how much three CONDOMS are!"
    Hoodlum2: "Yeah. I know."
    Plaid: "Can I help you guys with anything?"
    Hoodlum 2: "Nah. He's just buying CONDOMS."
    Hoodlum1: "There's a selection to choose from!" *grabs some*

    They walked up to the counter, Hoodlum1 pays for his CONDOMS. Hoodlum2 wants to make a purchase.

    H2:"Can I get a Swisher Sweet?"
    Plaid: "Id please?"
    H2: "Man, I come here all the time!"
    Plaid: "Never saw you before."
    H2: "What?! Man. I work at one of the other Plaid Pantries and you have to be 18 to work there. So I don't need id."
    Plaid: "Sorry. No id. No sale. You should know that."

    I'm in an aisle,trying to supress my laughter at one, the way the guy had to announce the fact that he was buying condoms and two, the second guy using as many as the old tricks he could.

    The two leave. I walked over to the condom display and start tsking.

    McG: "Wow. Those guys were idiots. They don't know how to go condom shopping. First off, they are paying waaay too much for just three condoms. They should go to a grocery store and get a big pack for times like these. Secondly, they are buying the wrong brand. I know my condoms and Trojans are the best. Here they are, buying Durex. What the hell? If you're going to have sex, DO IT RIGHT!"

    Plaid and Boo: "Oh my god."

    Ok, you're so cool. You're a man. You have a "big" wangdoodle. You're buying condoms. Now the whole world knows you're getting laid. Also, the whole world knows that you were stupid enough not to be prepared and had to go to a convience store that late at night to buy them. Methinks you were going onto 82nd Street to pick up a "lady of the night" because honestly, with your Tiny Penis Syndrome, a girl would have to be paid to do you.

    Apparently, it was a slow and average night.
    Last edited by McGoddess09; 06-16-2009, 03:27 AM.
    "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

    I belly dance with tall Goblins!

  • #2
    @ McG comments on Condoms story:

    That is all.

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    • #3
      Quoth McGoddess09 View Post

      McG: "Wow. Those guys were idiots. They don't know how to go condom shopping. First off, they are paying waaay too much for just three condoms. They should go to a grocery store and get a big pack for times like these. Secondly, they are buying the wrong brand. I know my condoms and Trojans are the best. Here they are, buying Durex. What the hell? If you're going to have sex, DO IT RIGHT!"
      I didn't know you were such a condom connoisseur.

      Quoth McGoddess09
      Ok, you're so cool. You're a man. You have a "big" wangdoodle. You're buying condoms. Now the whole world knows you're getting laid.
      Bet the condoms were just for him to put in his wallet to make everybody think he was getting laid.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        or for making balloon animals

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm guessing even a ho wouldn't hit that.

          He probably needs condoms so that the zucchinnis and pineapples that he shoves up his ass give him more of a French Tickler sensation on his colon, and less of a colon tearing session.
          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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          • #6
            Quoth blas87 View Post
            I'm guessing even a ho wouldn't hit that.

            He probably needs condoms so that the zucchinnis and pineapples that he shoves up his ass give him more of a French Tickler sensation on his colon, and less of a colon tearing session.


            Oh that was good
            https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
            Great YouTube channel check it out!

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            • #7
              Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
              I didn't know you were such a condom connoisseur.
              There's alot you don't know about me, that you probaly don't care to know.

              Blas:
              "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

              I belly dance with tall Goblins!

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth blas87 View Post

                He probably needs condoms so that the zucchinnis and pineapples that he shoves up his ass give him more of a French Tickler sensation on his colon, and less of a colon tearing session.
                Wish I would've thought of this while Sphinx's Pineapple Factory was still up and running.

                Instead, I thought of the Nose Pineapple. A miniature pinapple you stick up your nose. Or better yet, somebody else's.
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                • #9
                  Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                  Instead, I thought of the Nose Pineapple. A miniature pinapple you stick up your nose. Or better yet, somebody else's.
                  I believe a miniature pineapple did appear in one episode of Life. I miss that show.
                  Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                  HR believes the first person in the door
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                  Document everything
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                  • #10
                    Quoth McGoddess09 View Post
                    You have a "big" wangdoodle.
                    No, he is a big wangdoodle.
                    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                    • #11
                      Hoodlum 2 came in again. Had ID.

                      Wanted a lighter with a case on it. Despite the fact this lighter is covered with the the case, he didn't like it being purple, and wanted me to exchange it. this is after he ripped it out of the case, fumbled with it and took of the sticker.

                      I told him to wait til I get the other customers that were waiting for this asswhip.

                      he gets mad. Wants to know my problem.

                      He stormed out, warning me that this was Strike 2 against me.



                      Ooooh scary.
                      Military Spouse Support.
                      http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
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                      • #12
                        Strike Three and I whoop his ass,right?
                        "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

                        I belly dance with tall Goblins!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                          I didn't know you were such a condom connoisseur.
                          You gotta give McG credit: she knows what works.



                          Bet the condoms were just for him to put in his wallet to make everybody think he was getting laid.
                          They'd have to be. I don't think he could get laid even by an inflatable girl.

                          McGoddess . . .you're a riot. Are you sure you're not related to me?
                          Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                          • #14
                            I have family all over, DGoddess, so it's very possible. Most likely my dad's side because they reproduce like bunnies.
                            "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

                            I belly dance with tall Goblins!

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                            • #15
                              Hey, you both have "Goddess" in your name... that's enough to be related, right?

                              ^-.-^
                              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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