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After a nice, all be it forced vacation away from the interwebs. Mostly due to a computer going dead on me, the alignment of planets, and a really bad rash on my arm that we never could track down, I return.
I've got a couple of quickies here, hopefully good for a short giggle. I will, hopefully, be brief. (eh. you know me.)
Watch What you Say
While visiting mum at the hospital, I happen to walk in behind this nurse. Now apparently she had been dealing with some real arse, because she proceeds to say "I hate men. They're all ignorant <censored> heads who only think of themselves." She never once saw me during this, and for some reason I found myself compelled to say "We do so try." Her reaction was one of pure shock,
followed by a shade of red that I never thought possible on a human.
Zero Percent Rate
Had a bit of fun with a credit card company. Got a call a few weeks ago where the company asked if I wanted to lower the rates on my credit cards. If I would just press 9, I could speak with a representative at "Credit Card Company" (No lie that was its name) and they could lower the rate on my credit cards by half. (side note. I know this was a scam, but I still had some fun here.) So I decided to press 9 and see what happens. This woman answers, goes through her spiel or script and then says to me "So, Mr. Repsac. Do you have any questions?" To which I replied "Yeah. How can you lower the interest rate on my credit cards, when I don't have any credit cards in the first place?" She stammered some, apologized, stating they got my number by accident, and then hung up. When I later told this to a police friend of mine, he laughed himself silly. I outsmarted the scammer.
Do not touch the Electric Fence.
Neighbor across the way has two adorable little Black Angus bull calves. Cute little buggers that he's keeping as pets (though he plans to use them for stud when they're old enough.) In order to keep the tykes where they should be on their nice five or six acre plot, he built a nice wooden fence, and then strung a three wire electric fence on the inside of that. Just to be safe. That electric fence has become the bane of the neighborhood kids. You see, before he put up the fence (the wooden one first) the kids would ride their dirtbikes in the field. After the fence went up, he had problems with them ripping planks out of it to get to the field. He told me the other day that he watched with great morbid amusement, as one pair of boys dilligently pulled the fence down (ignoring the warning signs about the electrified fence) and then proceeded to reach in and grab one of the wires. A loud ZAP! and Yelp later, the boy was standing back having wet his pants. My uncle hasn't had any trouble with the fence since. In fact, he's turned off the power now, and the kids STILL avoid it.
I've got a couple of quickies here, hopefully good for a short giggle. I will, hopefully, be brief. (eh. you know me.)
Watch What you Say
While visiting mum at the hospital, I happen to walk in behind this nurse. Now apparently she had been dealing with some real arse, because she proceeds to say "I hate men. They're all ignorant <censored> heads who only think of themselves." She never once saw me during this, and for some reason I found myself compelled to say "We do so try." Her reaction was one of pure shock,
followed by a shade of red that I never thought possible on a human.Zero Percent Rate
Had a bit of fun with a credit card company. Got a call a few weeks ago where the company asked if I wanted to lower the rates on my credit cards. If I would just press 9, I could speak with a representative at "Credit Card Company" (No lie that was its name) and they could lower the rate on my credit cards by half. (side note. I know this was a scam, but I still had some fun here.) So I decided to press 9 and see what happens. This woman answers, goes through her spiel or script and then says to me "So, Mr. Repsac. Do you have any questions?" To which I replied "Yeah. How can you lower the interest rate on my credit cards, when I don't have any credit cards in the first place?" She stammered some, apologized, stating they got my number by accident, and then hung up. When I later told this to a police friend of mine, he laughed himself silly. I outsmarted the scammer.
Do not touch the Electric Fence.
Neighbor across the way has two adorable little Black Angus bull calves. Cute little buggers that he's keeping as pets (though he plans to use them for stud when they're old enough.) In order to keep the tykes where they should be on their nice five or six acre plot, he built a nice wooden fence, and then strung a three wire electric fence on the inside of that. Just to be safe. That electric fence has become the bane of the neighborhood kids. You see, before he put up the fence (the wooden one first) the kids would ride their dirtbikes in the field. After the fence went up, he had problems with them ripping planks out of it to get to the field. He told me the other day that he watched with great morbid amusement, as one pair of boys dilligently pulled the fence down (ignoring the warning signs about the electrified fence) and then proceeded to reach in and grab one of the wires. A loud ZAP! and Yelp later, the boy was standing back having wet his pants. My uncle hasn't had any trouble with the fence since. In fact, he's turned off the power now, and the kids STILL avoid it.
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