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Well, I went off to D&D camp, hoping to be able to come back home and answer life's greatest questions. Questions like "Will PG learn to concentrate?" "Will DB stop being an asshole?" "Will FB break his bad luck streak?"
Well, after a day of D&D camp, I can come back with a resounding... Maybe.
See, here's the thing. I was GOING to tell you, and I may even have learned... But while playing crackabout, I managed to headbutt a fire extinguisher and get a concussion. So... I don't actually remember much about today. My short-term memory is shot to shit. But long-term's still working like a folksy metaphor describing how well it works, so I figured I'd bring you this little gem. It happened many a month ago, when some friends of mine and I were dining at the fine restaurant of Burger King. By the way, is the Burger King married to the Dairy Queen, and if so, do they live in a White Castle? Anyway, back on topic.
Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for your cast of characters.
HD: Someone who is totally not secretly Batman, okay?
HDF: Hyena Dandy's Friend.
AFS: Annoying First Skater. His abbreviation is meaningless, but it serves to set up the joke of
ASS: Annoying Second Skater. His abbreviation also describes his personality.
AG: Annoying Girl. Her abbreviation accurately represents the sound you make after talking to her for five seconds.
Now, let me try to piece together what I remember of this epic incident. Keep in mind that I, Hyena Dandy, as I am a dandy, am wearing a suit in this story.
AG approaches.
AG: Hiiii.
Oh dear... Never trust someone who pronounces extra vowels.
HD: Hi.
AG: Did somebody die?
HD: Uh... No.
AG: You're wearing a suit.
HD: *looks down and gives a look of mock surprise* Oh, I suppose I am.
AG: Were you at a funeral?
HD: No.
AG: But you're wearing a suit.
HD: Yes. Yes I am.
AG: So were you at a funeral?
HD: No...
AG: But you're wearing a suit.
HD: Yes. But that's because it looks good.
AG: But its black.
HD: Yes...
AG: Were you at a funeral?
HD: NO! I AM NOT GOING TO A FUNERAL!
At this juncture, I should add that, due to the peculiar nature of my anxiety disorder/Aspergers combination, I instinctively switch accents and speech patterns when I'm agitated. This was Russian, and I have to say, even to those who would know its pretty convincing. I also got a Russian style of speech, hence the switching to present tense
AG: YOU SOUND LIKE BORAT!
HD: O_o
AG runs off.
HD: What was that all about?
HDF: That girl was bombed as Hiroshima. As blitzed as London
HD: I think she's gone now... *No sooner have the words left my mouth than AG returns*
AG: Hey, this guy sounds like Borat!
HD: I do not sound like Borat.
AG: He sounds JUST LIKE BORAT!
Its worth noting that my accent has returned to normal by now.
AFS: He doesn't sound like Borat.
AG: He sounds JUST LIKE HIM. Say nice!
HD: ...Nice.
AG: SAY IT LIKE BORAT!
Okay, sudden loud voice. I have a tendency to do what sudden loud voices say.
HD: Is niiiiice.
AFS: He sounds JUST LIKE BORAT.
ASS: HE DOES!
In the meantime, HDF has been eating a meal of fries. AG walks over to him.
AG: I wanna fry!
HDF: What?
AG: Can I have a fry?
HDF: Okay, sure. *gives her a fry which, by some stroke of fortune, is about twice average size*
AG: OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE LARGEST FRY EVER!
HD & HDF: O_o
AG: OH MY GOD! Look at this you guys! THIS IS THE LARGEST FRY EVER!
ASS: That fry is HUGE.
HD: O_o
AG: Look how huge this fry is! I mean... *she places the fry at around crotch level and imitates masturbating. The fry, not designed to be held horizontally, droops*
AG, AFS, and ASS: *all start laughing for about ten minutes, and then leave*
HD&HDF: Look at each-other.
HD: What the FUCK Just happened?
What the fuck just happened indeed.
Well, after a day of D&D camp, I can come back with a resounding... Maybe.
See, here's the thing. I was GOING to tell you, and I may even have learned... But while playing crackabout, I managed to headbutt a fire extinguisher and get a concussion. So... I don't actually remember much about today. My short-term memory is shot to shit. But long-term's still working like a folksy metaphor describing how well it works, so I figured I'd bring you this little gem. It happened many a month ago, when some friends of mine and I were dining at the fine restaurant of Burger King. By the way, is the Burger King married to the Dairy Queen, and if so, do they live in a White Castle? Anyway, back on topic.
Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for your cast of characters.
HD: Someone who is totally not secretly Batman, okay?
HDF: Hyena Dandy's Friend.
AFS: Annoying First Skater. His abbreviation is meaningless, but it serves to set up the joke of
ASS: Annoying Second Skater. His abbreviation also describes his personality.
AG: Annoying Girl. Her abbreviation accurately represents the sound you make after talking to her for five seconds.
Now, let me try to piece together what I remember of this epic incident. Keep in mind that I, Hyena Dandy, as I am a dandy, am wearing a suit in this story.
AG approaches.
AG: Hiiii.
Oh dear... Never trust someone who pronounces extra vowels.
HD: Hi.
AG: Did somebody die?
HD: Uh... No.
AG: You're wearing a suit.
HD: *looks down and gives a look of mock surprise* Oh, I suppose I am.
AG: Were you at a funeral?
HD: No.
AG: But you're wearing a suit.
HD: Yes. Yes I am.
AG: So were you at a funeral?
HD: No...
AG: But you're wearing a suit.
HD: Yes. But that's because it looks good.
AG: But its black.
HD: Yes...
AG: Were you at a funeral?
HD: NO! I AM NOT GOING TO A FUNERAL!
At this juncture, I should add that, due to the peculiar nature of my anxiety disorder/Aspergers combination, I instinctively switch accents and speech patterns when I'm agitated. This was Russian, and I have to say, even to those who would know its pretty convincing. I also got a Russian style of speech, hence the switching to present tense
AG: YOU SOUND LIKE BORAT!
HD: O_o
AG runs off.
HD: What was that all about?
HDF: That girl was bombed as Hiroshima. As blitzed as London
HD: I think she's gone now... *No sooner have the words left my mouth than AG returns*
AG: Hey, this guy sounds like Borat!
HD: I do not sound like Borat.
AG: He sounds JUST LIKE BORAT!
Its worth noting that my accent has returned to normal by now.
AFS: He doesn't sound like Borat.
AG: He sounds JUST LIKE HIM. Say nice!
HD: ...Nice.
AG: SAY IT LIKE BORAT!
Okay, sudden loud voice. I have a tendency to do what sudden loud voices say.
HD: Is niiiiice.
AFS: He sounds JUST LIKE BORAT.
ASS: HE DOES!
In the meantime, HDF has been eating a meal of fries. AG walks over to him.
AG: I wanna fry!
HDF: What?
AG: Can I have a fry?
HDF: Okay, sure. *gives her a fry which, by some stroke of fortune, is about twice average size*
AG: OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE LARGEST FRY EVER!
HD & HDF: O_o
AG: OH MY GOD! Look at this you guys! THIS IS THE LARGEST FRY EVER!
ASS: That fry is HUGE.
HD: O_o
AG: Look how huge this fry is! I mean... *she places the fry at around crotch level and imitates masturbating. The fry, not designed to be held horizontally, droops*
AG, AFS, and ASS: *all start laughing for about ten minutes, and then leave*
HD&HDF: Look at each-other.
HD: What the FUCK Just happened?
What the fuck just happened indeed.
I write, my friend Red draws. Comments welcome. Leave them on their, or on my profile here. 
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