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Okay..I think someone put something in the water. Or maybe it's close to a full moon? I have no clue. Here are a couple of sightings from today:
The Lab
So I had to get blood drawn, and I was on a 12 hour fast. I hightailed it out of the house today within 20 minutes of getting up and got to the lab with 10 minutes to spare. I'm glad I brought my book because it was a bit of a wait, even with just two people ahead of me.
Anyway, as I'm waiting I see a couple talking and giggling, the woman calling him dear and sweetie, the usual terms of endearment. They're older, probably been married for quite some time.
The office finally opens and I get up and wait in line to hand in my paperwork. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the guy edge closer. As I'm taking my paperwork he starts talking to me.
Guy: So did you think you could ace me?
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Guy: Did you think you could ace me? *scowls*
Me: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean.
Guy: Don't pretend you don't know! You cut in front of me! I was here before you!
Me: Oh, sorry. I thought you were here for your wife. I didn't know.
It should be noted that there are not numbers to be taken; it's first come, first served. The woman had offered to let me go ahead of her since she couldn't find her insurance card, so I did. Apparently, I was supposed to let the man go ahead of me. Okay.
So the guy gets upset, leaning in to talk to me and it is clear tha the is in dire need of breath mints, so much so that I wave my hand between us because it's so bad.
Guy: She's not my wife! She's my f*ck, okay? Is that okay with you?!
Me: I did not need to now that. I don't really care. I'm sorry I didn't know you were ahead of me.
Guy: Oh don't worry, girlie. I'll make sure you're sorry.
At that point, I feel a bit threatened so I go to the PT window and ask if there is a manager to speak with because I am not feeling very safe. They manage to keep him busy and away from me until I can get my blood drawn. Which took over a half hour to get done because I do not have veins readily accessable.
[Lunch
So, because I hurried out of the house, I didn't make my lunch. I opted to get lunch at Panera and headed out into the heat to get a sandwich.
As I'm waiting in line, a lady notices the bruise on my arm from the blood draw (I bruise easily). She does the "tsk-tsk" and leans over to talk to her friend, pointing to my arm. She then turns back to her friend and they smile at me. It was a smile that made me wish I didn't have such a short amount of time for lunch, and I really really didn't want to go to the crappy McDonalds across the way.
Woman: Are you alright? I couldn't help but notice the bruise. Is your SO mean to you, does he hurt you?
Now, as we all know, if Lupo can't get a crazy to get away from her, then maybe FMA can. So I smile and shake my head.
Me: Oh no. My husband is good to me; we have incredible sex. In fact he gave me two orgasms this morning alone. This is just from a blood draw this morning. Oh look, my pager is buzzing. Have a nice day!
The look on their face was priceless.I wish I could have gotten a picture of it. But I had to scoot since I had to make up for being late to work.
The Lab
So I had to get blood drawn, and I was on a 12 hour fast. I hightailed it out of the house today within 20 minutes of getting up and got to the lab with 10 minutes to spare. I'm glad I brought my book because it was a bit of a wait, even with just two people ahead of me.
Anyway, as I'm waiting I see a couple talking and giggling, the woman calling him dear and sweetie, the usual terms of endearment. They're older, probably been married for quite some time.
The office finally opens and I get up and wait in line to hand in my paperwork. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the guy edge closer. As I'm taking my paperwork he starts talking to me.
Guy: So did you think you could ace me?
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Guy: Did you think you could ace me? *scowls*
Me: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean.
Guy: Don't pretend you don't know! You cut in front of me! I was here before you!
Me: Oh, sorry. I thought you were here for your wife. I didn't know.
It should be noted that there are not numbers to be taken; it's first come, first served. The woman had offered to let me go ahead of her since she couldn't find her insurance card, so I did. Apparently, I was supposed to let the man go ahead of me. Okay.
So the guy gets upset, leaning in to talk to me and it is clear tha the is in dire need of breath mints, so much so that I wave my hand between us because it's so bad.
Guy: She's not my wife! She's my f*ck, okay? Is that okay with you?!
Me: I did not need to now that. I don't really care. I'm sorry I didn't know you were ahead of me.
Guy: Oh don't worry, girlie. I'll make sure you're sorry.
At that point, I feel a bit threatened so I go to the PT window and ask if there is a manager to speak with because I am not feeling very safe. They manage to keep him busy and away from me until I can get my blood drawn. Which took over a half hour to get done because I do not have veins readily accessable.
[Lunch
So, because I hurried out of the house, I didn't make my lunch. I opted to get lunch at Panera and headed out into the heat to get a sandwich.
As I'm waiting in line, a lady notices the bruise on my arm from the blood draw (I bruise easily). She does the "tsk-tsk" and leans over to talk to her friend, pointing to my arm. She then turns back to her friend and they smile at me. It was a smile that made me wish I didn't have such a short amount of time for lunch, and I really really didn't want to go to the crappy McDonalds across the way.
Woman: Are you alright? I couldn't help but notice the bruise. Is your SO mean to you, does he hurt you?
Now, as we all know, if Lupo can't get a crazy to get away from her, then maybe FMA can. So I smile and shake my head.
Me: Oh no. My husband is good to me; we have incredible sex. In fact he gave me two orgasms this morning alone. This is just from a blood draw this morning. Oh look, my pager is buzzing. Have a nice day!
The look on their face was priceless.I wish I could have gotten a picture of it. But I had to scoot since I had to make up for being late to work.
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