Had some extra vacation cash to spend, so did a little shopping out of town tonight.
On the freeway on the way to the mall, I moved into the left lane to pass a truck. And behind me, from my right, came Mr. Or Ms. FIB (Friendly Illinois Brethren, really, honest) in an SUV passing me in the right lane and then darting into the left lane.
Here FIB ended up behind another vehicle. For some strange reason, FIB put on their left blinker, which made no sense at all because the next lane to the left was the grassy median, and then swerved around the other car. Further down the road I saw FIB go weaving around somebody else.
And then a county Sheriff's car came roaring past with its lights on.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BUSTED EAT HOT RADAR GUN DEATH FIB!
Except the sheriff's deputy did not pull over the bobbing and weaving Illinois car, It just passed it by and continued down the road. Dammit.
A short time later, on the opposite side of the freeway, I saw the reason for the sheriff's car flying past. Somebody's 70s or 80, puke-tan, spawned-from-Detroit land yacht killed itself with fire. Guess it was the only way to be sure. And now:
To the Asshead in the White Range Rover On The Freeway In Front Of Me:
Don't know if you noticed, but the speed limit on this stretch of road is 60 MPH.
But here you are, going 50. That's how fast I can go without tailgating you and risking ass-ending you if you stop suddenly. Which is quite possible, because you're also riding the brake like it's Kate Upton in a Bic Mac bikini.
Further, I would like to point out it's a cloudless August day and the road is completely dry. Given those road conditions, if you're too chickenshit to do 60, or even 55 miles and hour, please sell that fuck-ugly substitute penis of yours and turn in your license. You nearly caused several accidents from people changing lanes and trying to get around you.
On the freeway on the way to the mall, I moved into the left lane to pass a truck. And behind me, from my right, came Mr. Or Ms. FIB (Friendly Illinois Brethren, really, honest) in an SUV passing me in the right lane and then darting into the left lane.
Here FIB ended up behind another vehicle. For some strange reason, FIB put on their left blinker, which made no sense at all because the next lane to the left was the grassy median, and then swerved around the other car. Further down the road I saw FIB go weaving around somebody else.
And then a county Sheriff's car came roaring past with its lights on.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BUSTED EAT HOT RADAR GUN DEATH FIB!
Except the sheriff's deputy did not pull over the bobbing and weaving Illinois car, It just passed it by and continued down the road. Dammit.
A short time later, on the opposite side of the freeway, I saw the reason for the sheriff's car flying past. Somebody's 70s or 80, puke-tan, spawned-from-Detroit land yacht killed itself with fire. Guess it was the only way to be sure. And now:
To the Asshead in the White Range Rover On The Freeway In Front Of Me:
Don't know if you noticed, but the speed limit on this stretch of road is 60 MPH.
But here you are, going 50. That's how fast I can go without tailgating you and risking ass-ending you if you stop suddenly. Which is quite possible, because you're also riding the brake like it's Kate Upton in a Bic Mac bikini.
Further, I would like to point out it's a cloudless August day and the road is completely dry. Given those road conditions, if you're too chickenshit to do 60, or even 55 miles and hour, please sell that fuck-ugly substitute penis of yours and turn in your license. You nearly caused several accidents from people changing lanes and trying to get around you.
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