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Every time I get behind the wheel.......

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  • Every time I get behind the wheel.......

    I seem to turn into an asshole magnet. These are from Friday afternoon and yesterday night, I swear these 2 were on the road just to be total dicks to me. The one on Friday I had the bad luck to be stuck behind on the way home from the mall, he would slow down at every light to make sure I got stuck with the red. The only upside was that so did he, until we came up to 2 lights until the turn off for the Target shopping center. About 3 or so seconds into that red light he goes through it. I beeped at him and did the double flip off then the light turned green so he was still right in front of me, so when we got close to the last light before the shopping center he starts slowing down a bit early seemingly forgetting that we're coming up on 3 lanes.


    |L| ^ |R
    |E| | |I
    |F| | |G
    |T| | |H
    -------T


    He's slowing down to a crawl at a green light and the right lane was completely free so I went around him, he remembers where his gas pedal is and lays on his horn like it was my fault he was an asshole.

    Now the dipshit from yesterday night was similar to the asshole on Friday only this guy was worse, I was coming home from a different mall and this guy was going at least 10 under and there wasn't an open lane on either side next to me to switch to. Once the left lane was open I put my blinker on and so did he, I switched as fast as I could and floored it to get ahead of him since he stepped on the gas too. Once I got around to the front of him he alternated between being up my ass and trying to blind me while beeping, I had to put up with that bullshit for about 20 minutes before he turned off.
    ......../\
    ....../__\
    ..../\...../\
    ../__\../__\

  • #2
    I attracted the attention of a particular idiot a year ago. For some reason he decided that he was going to pick on me that day.

    Two things to remember before I start to explain what happened. In the UK, dual carriageways and motorways have a national speed limit of 70mph, and I drive a car that isn't the fastest on the planet. I can get to 70mph on a flat road, and a little faster if going downhill with a good wind behind me.

    I'm going to visit friends on this particular day and there's a car ahead of me doing about 50mph. It's the sort of car where the owner obviously thinks it looks like something from Max Power but in actual fact just looks like he's driven through his local Halfords with an electro-magnet.

    I'm not in a rush, and apart from us two the road is practically empty. I'm going faster so I move to pull past him into the fast lane. He doesn't like this so he floors it. Fine, be like that, so I ease off the accelerator and move back in behind him.

    I'm not fully concentrating on him but a minute or so later I'm on his back bumper again so I go to pass him. Same thing, he hits his accelerator again. Okay fine, be an idiot. I don't want to get into any kind of road rage battle with this little boy so I just stay behind him.

    We get to a roundabout and while I can't remember how we did it, we ended up side-by-side. Good, maybe he's going right and I'm going straight on. No such luck, he's going straight on and he's side-by-side all the way around before he cuts me up at the exit. However, this stretch of road is a bit busier. I let him get on with it, passing cars hoping I'll see him wrapped around a lamppost somewhere up ahead.

    Anyway I've given him enough time to get on with it so I decide to make a move myself and start passing cars. I see him again up ahead at the tail end of a line of cars. Has he waited for me? Anyway, I get in the line behind him. At some point though I'm going to have to move right because we're in a dedicated turn-left and I don't want to do that but I stay there in case this little boy wants to play games again. A couple of other cars join the line behind us. Just as I need to change lanes another car comes down the fast lane to the right of us so I just pull in behind him.

    To my absolute joy I see everyone behind me joining me. I glance in the mirror to see the little boy with his indicator on trying to move over to the fast lane but no-one will let him out. The last I saw of him was as he was forced to drive down the dedicated lane. I can only imagine what he was yelling in his car. I never saw that car again.

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    • #3
      I had an idiot like that a few weeks ago. Speed limit was 70mph, they were doing about 55. I moved over to pass, and the gal was still there beside me. I sped up to 80...she's still there. So I tried to slow down to get back behind her...she slowed down too. So I sped up to 90...she's still there!

      Well, that pissed me off, and I retaliated with some of my own suck. It was late and there was no other traffic when we came up upon a semi in her lane going a bit under 60, and as we came up on it, I slowed down and matched the semi's speed to block her in. I gave the semi just enough room that it could move over if it needed to, but not enough room for her to get between us. She got behind me thinking I was going to pass it, then got behind the semi to see if she could squeeze past me. I kept on like that for four miles before she got off the interstate. About a mile before her exit, she suddenly dropped her speed way back to 45-50mph again. I then passed the truck and continued on my own merry way. I did feel bad for using the semi like that, but I felt less bad about pissing the idiot driver off.
      Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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      • #4
        A couple of years ago I was cruising down a 2 lane interstate doing the speed limit and minding my own business when some fool in a small, packed to the gills such decided to be an arse and not let me pass. No idea what his problem was but he was shifting lanes, speeding up/slowing down and doing everything possible to avoid letting me past. After about 10 minutes of this I decided to have some fun- I got up close, flashed my lights to get his attention and pointed to my cell phone. Then I fired off the camera (taking the worst photo ever from the windshield glare) with the flash on, looked at the phone and did it again.

        Instant reaction from him- he shifted lanes, dropped to 45 mph and let me around while gesturing wildly and flipping me off. Never saw him again for the remaining hour I was on highway. I've done the same thing twice more when dealing with idiots like that, it's amazing how the threat your bs is being recorded makes it stop.

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        • #5
          Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was pursued by a drunk (or, maybe just an asshole, but probably drunk) on the way home?

          Well, maybe I'll re-tell it just in case.

          After I get home from work.
          Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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