The Worst Car Ever

[Aria]

I thought I would share my adventures in the little red car with bald summer tires!

I can't remember the make and model, I just remember it was red. 2WD and an absolute joy to drive in the winter. But it belonged to my parents and it was free. Given that I was a student, free was everything.

Driving it in winter was a pip. Fortunately, I live in a city that dries out quickly... the main arteries were usually fine. It was the side roads, the little cul de sacs that were awesome. Leaving the cul de sec I would hit the breaks a block away from the main road. Feel the car starting to skid. Ease up on the break. Hit it again. Feel the car starting to skid. Ease up on the break. Hit the break and feel it stopping normally. Pump the break when it starts to slide. I knew exactly how long it would take to stop that damn thing. I'm lucky no one ever jumped out in front of me, they would have been dog food.

The worst incident I ever had with that car was actually not on ice at all. I was good with ice. I didn't think RAIN would be such a problem! But it was also a main road so I was doing 60. Coming up on a red light I tried to stop. Began to fishtail. Stopped breaking and then tried again. Started to fishtail. Ended up running the red light. Fortunately, the people with the green saw me coming and saw what was happening so it was good, sort of. God, I hated that car.

It gets better, though. In the summer, it got air in the brake line. I didn't know that... I just knew it was handling like it did on ice. So I told my dad there was something wrong. I was still a new driver at that time and not as assertive as I should have been... he told me to drive it to school and he'd check it that night. So I did, breaking like I would on ice, ie a block away. When dad looked at it he said it was completely unsafe and mom went off a little on him for letting me drive it.

Anyway, overall, I was a menace. My current car might be 2WD but it has GOOD TIRES! What an improvement! What's the worst car you guys have ever owned?

[greek_jester]

Owned by my mother, affectionately known as The Deathtrap. An old Cortina that was mostly rust around a surprisingly wonderful engine.

One of the back doors was jammed shut, the gearstick had a nasty habit of detatching from the car while you were driving, and the back seat wasn't actually attached to anything so if mum braked too sharply all she could see in the rearview mirror was a row of legs waving in the air. There were also a couple of holes in the floor, so if it was raining badly you learned to sit on your feet if you wanted them dry.

Weirdly I still miss that car. It had character.

[Kogarashi]

Our worst wasn't all that bad. It was a Ford Aerostar that had a tendency to stall on the highway at the worst times (thank goodness we could still shift to neutral and restart it). The heat took forever to kick in during the winter so we kept a stash of blankets in there, and the speedometer broke one year so it always read 0 mph and we had to learn how to tell our speed by feel until it finally got fixed. Which was worse than the other car where the gas gauge broke and always read Empty, but at least with that one we could use the trip meter to give us an idea of when to refuel.

[Teefies2]

72 Chevy Vega. My very first car that I bought with my own money. That sucker drank a quart of oil a week, no lie. Then when I took it to college, the first winter, I rolled the driver's side window down one day and it STAYED down. Forever. This was in New Jersey, in the winter. Every time I went to get in the car, I had to shovel the snow out of the driver's side first

[wolfie]

That sucker drank a quart of oil a week, no lie.

Only a quart a week? Before I got the new engine put in, my truck was drinking a couple gallons a week (roughly 1000 miles per gallon of oil).

I rolled the driver's side window down one day and it STAYED down.

Passenger side window for me. A couple bolts attaching the metal strip at the bottom of the window to the regulator had sheared, leaving the strip sitting on the bracket. Bracket goes down, window descends by gravity. Motor doesn't have enough force to push window up (improper alignment of regulator to strip means it takes more force than when properly bolted on). Cue disassembly of interior trim, sliding window up manually, running regulator up, and duct-taping window until I can get to my mechanic.

[CyberLurch]

84 Chevy S10 3/4 ton. Yes, you read that correctly, for a couple of years, GM actually did offer a 1500# payload package for its S10. The option didn't last long; it was a bad, bad idea. Those little trucks just weren't built for that sort of duty, especially since the most powerful engine available that year was the carbureted 2.8L V6 - an engine originally developed for the compact Citation and Celebrity passenger cars, adapted to a RWD application.

I bought the truck used in 1996.

It was actually a good vehicle the first two or three months, but things just started failing.

First, the A/C. All right, old air conditioner, they break down, don't really 'need' A/C anyway. Then the transmission started acting funny. The workaround was to let the truck warm up before putting it in gear. If you did that, it worked normally. If you failed to do that, it would absolutely refuse to go into high gear for at least 20 minutes.

The truck would also lose power at odd times. Driving along, you'd feel the engine start to lose power, until even just keeping moving at 35 mph required full throttle. Pull over, let it idle for about 10 minutes, and the problem would resolve itself. Completely random. Summer heat, bitter cold, rain, dry... didn't matter. Replaced the fuel pump, investigated possible water in the fuel, never did track the problem down.

The brakes were... 'interesting'. The brake line to the rear of the truck had been spliced so many times it was almost comical. I replaced the line entirely with a new one, and it worked much better.

The speedometer was way, WAY off. Later found out the previous owner had swapped out the rear axle, one with a MUCH different ratio. Instead of 3.73s, it had 3.08s. No idea what he was trying to accomplish.

Which also explained the truck's general lack of power, and why even under the best of circumstances, high gear (aka overdrive) wouldn't engage until at least 50 mph (it's supposed to kick in at around 38-42 under light acceleration).

And starting it cold was always an adventure.

The engine finally quit one February night. I'd started it, let it warm up, and was on my way to work when it started belching huge plumes of water vapor out the tail pipe. At first, I though I'd popped a head gasket, but when I later tore the engine apart to fix it, I discovered a big crack in the #5 cylinder wall. The repair costs were far beyond what the truck was worth, so I sold it to a guy who wanted the body and chassis to do a V8 conversion.

[wolfie]

Later found out the previous owner had swapped out the rear axle, one with a MUCH different ratio. Instead of 3.73s, it had 3.08s. No idea what he was trying to accomplish.

Probably wanted to improve fuel economy by going to a taller gear. Bad idea if it means you the engine is no longer in the "sweet spot" when the transmission is in its top gear at your desired cruising speed.

I sold it to a guy who wanted the body and chassis to do a V8 conversion.

IIRC, the S-10 was offered with a choice of a 4 or 6 cylinder engine. Could a V-8 even fit under the hood, and could the truck handle the extra power? Buyer would probably have been better off with a full-size pickup.

[protege]

IIRC, the S-10 was offered with a choice of a 4 or 6 cylinder engine. Could a V-8 even fit under the hood, and could the truck handle the extra power? Buyer would probably have been better off with a full-size pickup.

I know people who have put V8s into S10s. Most people do it because a big engine in a small truck is simply awesome. No different that hot rodding anything else. Of course it requires some upgrades to the brakes, but those are easily changed.

Anyway, the worst car I ever owned...would be the '87 Ford Tempo that I "inherited" when my dad started working downtown. He started taking the bus and said that I could have the car. By the time I took on that piece of crap, it was in pretty bad shape. Tempos were a piece of crap to begin with, but years of deferred maintenance meant that I had problems. Throw in some accident damage, and it was no wonder.

Those things had a well-deserved reputation for brake problems. More than once, I'd go to apply the brakes, and nothing happened That car went through brake pads like they were going out of style.

But the accident damage? That was the result of my dad pulling out of a parallel spot...and some old fool in a 1970s Pontiac driving into him at 70mph. The Ford got tossed--sideways--down the street a good 40 feet Even though the door and fender had been fixed, the frame was bent *just* enough that if you hit the brakes hard enough (provided said brakes worked!) the driver's door would occasionally fly open.

That was about the time that the driver's window broke. Not the glass, but the winding mechanism. You could roll the window down, but it was a bitch to put back up. One time, it fell down by itself, and no amount of cursing would get it to rise. No choice but to drive home--in the snow--with the window down and a failed heater.

I drove that heap about a year before it killed itself. It was 1994, and I was driving home through a pretty dangerous area--Pittsburgh's Hazelwood neighborhood (Hazelwood was in the middle of a gang war then--someone was always getting shot). Sitting at one of the many lights, that stupid car started to overheat. I did the old trick of dropping the windows, cranking up the heater (which surprisingly worked!), and I made it through the ghetto.

I went a few more miles before the car went out with a bang. As I was attempting to turn off the man road...the engine blew up There was a loud bang, lots of smoke and steam, and lots of pretty red lights on the dashboard. As I'm recovering, the next bang was from some idiot in a Blazer rear ending the stricken car...writing it off.

At least I made out though--the insurance company gave me two grand (a lot more than the Ford was worth) towards a newer car.

[CyberLurch]

IIRC, the S-10 was offered with a choice of a 4 or 6 cylinder engine. Could a V-8 even fit under the hood, and could the truck handle the extra power? Buyer would probably have been better off with a full-size pickup.

You do remember correctly: The S-10 was offered with a variety of fours over the years, ranging from a 1.8 Isuzu engine up to a 2.5L GM 'Iron Duke'. The last four-bangers offered were the 2.2L 'borrowed' from their front-drive passenger cars.

The first-gen S10s all had a 2.8L V6 option; in 1987 or 1988 a 4.3L V6 also became available. A 4.3 V6 S10 with a few well-selected tweaks can be quite a bit quicker than most folks would believe.

As for a V8 conversion - oh, yeah, there are kits available to do this, but a determined and talented fellow could easily swap in a small block Chevy himself and proceed to thoroughly piss off the local law enforcement with what he built. Even a 'stock' 350 engine out of a big old Impala is a real shot of adrenaline for an S10. And yes, it will all fit under the stock hood, and its insanely inexpensive to do. Excellent sleeper material, right there.

[LesserSouthernFroglet]

Worst was an old VW type 3. Driving down a hill to the only set of traffic lights in town, went to brake. No brakes. I managed to get it home without killing anybody and never drove it again. I had it for a week.

Its other neat trick was it had no low-beam headlights. If I was driving after dark it was high beam or nothing. Used to freak out people who flashed me because of the high beam, then I'd just turn the lights off and vanish.

I had an old Navara twincab a few years ago, it also used to go stealth - with no warnings the headlights would just fade out on low beam. Usually stopping it and giving the headlights a good kicking would get it going. I replaced the lamp connectors and it still played up. Apart from that it was a great little beastie.

The current worst car I know isn't mine, but a friend's. It's an elderly Tarago van, not too mechanically sound, and in addition he crashed it and wrote it off a few months ago. He's still driving it. The windows keep falling out (they're now duct-taped in), the air con works but squeals like a banshee convention, it rattles even before the engine starts. One of the park lights is hanging by a wire. It randomly stops for no reason, sometimes 8 or 10 times in a trip, needs to be restarted (IF it will restart). The favourite place for that is in the Maccas drive-through. When it is actually moving, it rattles so much you'd swear the whole thing was going to do a Bluesmobile and just disintegrate around you. Considering how beat up and bent the body work is, it is entirely possible.

[BPFH]

My worst was a '78 Chevrolet Chevette, which I believe I've mentioned elsewhere CS.

Enumerating all the fail in that vehicle would be difficult, but let's see:

• It had a black exterior and a formerly red interior - the cloth held its color pretty well, but by the time I had it, the plastic had faded to a truly shocking shade of pink.
• The knob on the crank for the driver's side front window snapped off at some point, so rolling the window up or down was a pain.
• The knob on the gearshift was loose - I had to make sure I applied pressure to the top of the knob, or risk having the sucker go flying (possibly out the window) when shifting into 3rd.
• It got 18 miles per gallon (of gas).
• It got 400 miles per gallon (of oil). Turn a corner and watch the blue smoke!
• Ever wanted to know what happens when the ground wire on a car battery burns out?
• It eventually developed holes in the floorboards. I found this out the hard way when I was driving in the rain.
• It was on the old GM 2-key system (round one opens the doors, square one starts the car, IIRC).
• You could hit someone standing two feet behind and one foot to the left of the car, with the windshield washer fluid.

For all that, it really only died catastrophically about three times:

• When the ground wire burned out, my mom and I were about 50 miles from home. Dad came out with his van and gave us a jump start. We wound up having to call a tow truck twice (once to jump-start the Chevette, once to jump-start his van). We only discovered the ground wire issue when Dad took it in to have it fixed.
• On my way home from school, one of the bolts for the belt broke off. In the middle of the winter. In Michigan. It shattered all the fan blades.
• What finally killed it was the clutch. We started having trouble getting it into 1st, so we'd just start it in 2nd and rev higher. Then we started having trouble getting it into 2nd. This was around the time when Dad decided that maybe it was time to get a replacement...

[Nunavut Pants]

The worst car I have ever owned is also my favorite car. I still own it, in fact. It is horrible, and the only way anyone will ever get it from me is to pry the keys from my cold, dead hands.

It is a 30+ year old zoomy fun car with an air-cooled motor. (Sorry, not gonna be more specific for $(REASONS).) It does run, which is an improvement from how it spent several years. It runs rather poorly, but it does run. The parking brakes stick when you leave them applied for more than about 12 hours, so I park it in gear and chock the tires when it is sitting in my driveway. It has rust--not as bad as just about any car in Chicago that has seen more than one winter, but there is definitely rust there. I'm pretty sure there is more rust hiding inside of some of the more important metal structures in the body of the car, but I'm scared to look.

It leaks--everything, just about. Certainly water into the interior, and certainly oil out of the engine! And gear oil out of the transmission. Not sure about brake fluid, though. At least I know it doesn't leak radiator fluid--aircooled, you see.

The motor has been rebuilt at least a couple of times so far. The transmission at least once, but it makes a howling noise at speed on the freeway. That's OK, because it takes approximately forever to get to freeway speeds anyway. And it coughs and hiccups and farts and is just plain unhappy much of the time. And the mixture goes very lean at cruise, to the point where I'm afraid it will melt bits of the cylinder head--AGAIN.

The primary mechanic for the car is a total moron, who mistakenly thinks he knows what he is doing. Did I mention that the mechanic is me?

In the infrequent times that it actually runs decently, it puts an immense smile on my face. That almost makes it worth the rest. To me, at least.

[bhskittykatt]

We had an old '79 Datsun that was rusted so bad, you could watch the road pass by beneath you. When we got it, it had no brakes; the ex drove it to the mechanic early in the AM when there would be no traffic. He followed me so I could drive him home. At one point we hit a red light; he was half a block behind me and ended up swerving to avoid rear-ending me. We were scolded for driving it to the shop. It also had no dash, just a mess of wires and gauges. The ex thought he could "make it look cooler" by making his own custom dash but that ended....poorly.

I currently have a '95 VW Jetta. Let me count the ways it has failed me since I acquired it.... brakes went out (including master cylinder), throttle went out (the line between the petal and throttle detached whilst attempting to merge onto the interstate once, something which it is not designed to do), it's had multiple coolant leaks I've repaired, clutch went out, transmission went out, suspension went out, one of the car latches is broken so you can open it from the outside but not from the inside, trunk latch is busted so you have to use a jury-rigged cable that came out the back seat until it recently broke so now I have to flip down the back seat to get into the trunk, and once my car door spontaneously caught fire when the power-locks shorted out. Had to call the fire dept and everything.

Right now the tires are bald too, but due to a typo in recent divorce paperwork that I did not catch in time (and I am so very mad at myself about this because everything is final now), the ex is actually legally entitled to it now. I was going to replace the tires, but this bombshell revelation dropped on me last night, so I think I'll ride those tires out as long as I can (he at least is letting me continue to use it until June-ish when I finally quit my paper route). I only use it for the route so...yeah.

[bhskittykatt]

My worst was a '78 Chevrolet Chevette, which I believe I've mentioned elsewhere CS.

We had a car once that iirc, half of it was a '77 Chevette and the other half a '79 (which tells you something right there). From the inside you could see where they welded them together. It was a gorgeous blue color. That was about the only redeeming quality. Near the end, the drivers door actually detached from the car so it would fall off if you opened it; we had to use it as a paper route car and the ex was crawling through the window to get in and out. When the clutch died and the engine exploded oil a few days after, that's when we finally sold it for scrap.

[drunkenwildmage]

You do remember correctly: The S-10 was offered with a variety of fours over the years, ranging from a 1.8 Isuzu engine up to a 2.5L GM 'Iron Duke'. The last four-bangers offered were the 2.2L 'borrowed' from their front-drive passenger cars.

GMC also had a version of the S-10 (They called it the S-15/Sonoma) that had Buick's monster V6 Turbo on it. Car and Driver did a drag race with it against a Ferrari 348ts, and the truck won.