Tweet
Road names, landmarks, and cities/towns are all changed to different names for obfuscation purposes.
So I don't use Waze or any other traffic-avoidance apps when I'm driving to and from work at The Client. Generally, the fastest route is still going to be the most direct, and any alternate routes aren't going to be faster or traffic-free, because everyone else is using those same roads to avoid the main roads. I do use GoogleMaps, but generally only when going on road trips. Google is pretty good at warning me about traffic slowdowns and alerting me to alternate routes to avoid them when I do use it.
I mention this as background. The other night, I hit a major traffic jam on Major Toll Road, my main route home. MT Road may cost money to use, but it's also the most direct and fastest way home, and I hate having to deal with traffic lights, and any alternate route will deal with traffic lights. I wasn't using GoogleMaps before hitting MT Road, and being that I'm usually in rush hour traffic on my way home anyway, I didn't think too much of the slowness at first... until I realize we're crawling, and I haven't even hit the toll plaza yet.
I pulled up GoogleMaps on my phone, and saw that the slowdown was due to a car accident on MT Road, about three miles up the road. According to GMaps, it was causing a 19-minute delay, and then the GMaps voice (which I call "Navi") said, "You are still on the fastest route."
FML. I was seriously cussing up a storm in my car, because that's generally what I do when I'm stuck in traffic.
I called home to let my folks know about this. Dad picked up the phone and I warned him about it. These are paraphrased conversations.
J2K: "Hey, Dad, just letting you know, I'm stuck in traffic. There's an accident on MT Road, and I'm gonna be late."
Dad: "Okay, thanks for telling me. How late do you think you'll be?"
J2K: "I probably won't get home for at least half an hour. It's a 19-minute delay."
Dad: "Oof. Do you have Waze?"
J2K: "No, I don't usually need it."
Dad: "Okay... where are you on MT Road?"
J2K: "Not even to the toll plaza yet."
Dad: "Okay, you could try getting off at Route A, and take Westville Pike to try to get around it--"
J2K: "Dad? I have GMaps up. It's telling me I'm STILL on the fastest route."
Dad: "Oof."
J2K: "I appreciate the attempt, but I'm just stuck with this."
Dad: "Okay, well... thanks for letting me know."
We hang up, and I go about silently fuming in my car at the inconvenience to my evening. Then my phone rings again, and it's Mom. Again, paraphrased:
Mom: "Hi. So where are you?"
J2K: "Still not even at the toll plaza."
Mom: "I'm looking at the traffic maps now, it looks like there's an accident up by Venue Place--"
J2K: "I know. I can see it on my GMaps."
Mom: "Okay. You could try getting off on Route A to go to Westville Pike--"
J2K: "Yeah, Dad told me about that one. But GMaps is telling me it has a similar ETA to MT Road. Plus, I'm five lanes away from that exit, it'll be a nightmare to try to even get to it."
Mom: "...yeah, it's looking pretty busy on Route A, too..."
J2K: "I bet it is, probably a bunch of people trying to get out of this mess."
By this point, I was getting annoyed and angry, largely because my being stuck in the traffic jam was not helping my mood. I know Mom was trying to be helpful, trying to get me home sooner, but she was persisting.
Mom: "Could you get off and go through Corner Town?"
J2K: "No. I'm already past that exit. I told Dad, I'm just stuck in this mess. I'm still on the fastest route."
Mom: "There's another exit you could take, up at--"
At this point, I hung up on Mom, because it was either that, or I'd start swearing at her, and I didn't want to start cussing out my mother. She called back a minute or two later, but I ignored it.
After I got through the toll plaza, I made a mental decision of "fuck it" and seeing that traffic had enough gaps in it for me to get over to Route A. However, rather than taking it toward Westville Pike, I opted instead to go the other direction into Corner Town, with the intent of getting onto Route DEF, which I knew would get me to some back roads I was familiar with to get home.
GMaps and Navi kept trying to get me to pull a U-turn and go back onto MT Road, but eventually renavigated me onto Judgement Hall Road. From there, it was a series of back roads I wasn't familiar with, but they eventually deposited me back at MT Road, but beyond the traffic accident. From there, it was smooth sailing back home.
I get off work at 6pm. Normally, I'll get home between 6:45 and 7pm, depending on conditions.
On the night in question, if I'd stayed on MT Road like GMaps suggested, I would have gotten home between 7:15 and 7:25. Thanks to my detour, however, I didn't get home until 7:45.
When I told Dad this, he winced. "I told you," I said, "I was still on the fastest route, but I tried one of the alternate routes you suggested, and lo and behold, it took longer."
Mom was understanding of why I hung up on her, and lo, things are still normal in the Winger household.
So I don't use Waze or any other traffic-avoidance apps when I'm driving to and from work at The Client. Generally, the fastest route is still going to be the most direct, and any alternate routes aren't going to be faster or traffic-free, because everyone else is using those same roads to avoid the main roads. I do use GoogleMaps, but generally only when going on road trips. Google is pretty good at warning me about traffic slowdowns and alerting me to alternate routes to avoid them when I do use it.
I mention this as background. The other night, I hit a major traffic jam on Major Toll Road, my main route home. MT Road may cost money to use, but it's also the most direct and fastest way home, and I hate having to deal with traffic lights, and any alternate route will deal with traffic lights. I wasn't using GoogleMaps before hitting MT Road, and being that I'm usually in rush hour traffic on my way home anyway, I didn't think too much of the slowness at first... until I realize we're crawling, and I haven't even hit the toll plaza yet.
I pulled up GoogleMaps on my phone, and saw that the slowdown was due to a car accident on MT Road, about three miles up the road. According to GMaps, it was causing a 19-minute delay, and then the GMaps voice (which I call "Navi") said, "You are still on the fastest route."
FML. I was seriously cussing up a storm in my car, because that's generally what I do when I'm stuck in traffic.
I called home to let my folks know about this. Dad picked up the phone and I warned him about it. These are paraphrased conversations.
J2K: "Hey, Dad, just letting you know, I'm stuck in traffic. There's an accident on MT Road, and I'm gonna be late."
Dad: "Okay, thanks for telling me. How late do you think you'll be?"
J2K: "I probably won't get home for at least half an hour. It's a 19-minute delay."
Dad: "Oof. Do you have Waze?"
J2K: "No, I don't usually need it."
Dad: "Okay... where are you on MT Road?"
J2K: "Not even to the toll plaza yet."
Dad: "Okay, you could try getting off at Route A, and take Westville Pike to try to get around it--"
J2K: "Dad? I have GMaps up. It's telling me I'm STILL on the fastest route."
Dad: "Oof."
J2K: "I appreciate the attempt, but I'm just stuck with this."
Dad: "Okay, well... thanks for letting me know."
We hang up, and I go about silently fuming in my car at the inconvenience to my evening. Then my phone rings again, and it's Mom. Again, paraphrased:
Mom: "Hi. So where are you?"
J2K: "Still not even at the toll plaza."
Mom: "I'm looking at the traffic maps now, it looks like there's an accident up by Venue Place--"
J2K: "I know. I can see it on my GMaps."
Mom: "Okay. You could try getting off on Route A to go to Westville Pike--"
J2K: "Yeah, Dad told me about that one. But GMaps is telling me it has a similar ETA to MT Road. Plus, I'm five lanes away from that exit, it'll be a nightmare to try to even get to it."
Mom: "...yeah, it's looking pretty busy on Route A, too..."
J2K: "I bet it is, probably a bunch of people trying to get out of this mess."
By this point, I was getting annoyed and angry, largely because my being stuck in the traffic jam was not helping my mood. I know Mom was trying to be helpful, trying to get me home sooner, but she was persisting.
Mom: "Could you get off and go through Corner Town?"
J2K: "No. I'm already past that exit. I told Dad, I'm just stuck in this mess. I'm still on the fastest route."
Mom: "There's another exit you could take, up at--"
At this point, I hung up on Mom, because it was either that, or I'd start swearing at her, and I didn't want to start cussing out my mother. She called back a minute or two later, but I ignored it.
After I got through the toll plaza, I made a mental decision of "fuck it" and seeing that traffic had enough gaps in it for me to get over to Route A. However, rather than taking it toward Westville Pike, I opted instead to go the other direction into Corner Town, with the intent of getting onto Route DEF, which I knew would get me to some back roads I was familiar with to get home.
GMaps and Navi kept trying to get me to pull a U-turn and go back onto MT Road, but eventually renavigated me onto Judgement Hall Road. From there, it was a series of back roads I wasn't familiar with, but they eventually deposited me back at MT Road, but beyond the traffic accident. From there, it was smooth sailing back home.
I get off work at 6pm. Normally, I'll get home between 6:45 and 7pm, depending on conditions.
On the night in question, if I'd stayed on MT Road like GMaps suggested, I would have gotten home between 7:15 and 7:25. Thanks to my detour, however, I didn't get home until 7:45.
When I told Dad this, he winced. "I told you," I said, "I was still on the fastest route, but I tried one of the alternate routes you suggested, and lo and behold, it took longer."
Mom was understanding of why I hung up on her, and lo, things are still normal in the Winger household.
Comment