To everyone who cuts me off...

[Kusanagi]

Let's get one thing straight.

I drive a van. Is it old? Yes. Does it look bad? It's not perfect, but it isn't an eyesore.

Here's what you need to understand - it's over two thousand pounds of solid steel. The engine block alone weighs more than your Scion.

Now, given that you're a complete retard, I'm going to explain a few things to you.

1) The kinetic energy of 2,500 pounds of nearly solid steel is more than double that of your unibody plastic-panelled car traveling at the same speed.

2) My bumpers are solid steel, and right about level with the headlights or tail lights of your BMW or Audi.

3) My vehicle does not accelerate fast. It also is not capable of braking fast.

4) My vehicle does not respond well to abrupt inputs that change its trajectory - having to jerk the wheel and slam the brakes does interesting things to a chunk of steel driving 60 miles per hour.

Any damage that happens to my van as a result of a collision caused by you ignoring these factors is going to be far less expensive than anything that happens to your car.

Here's the bottom line, you retards. For everyone that passes me on the shoulder, cuts me off, tries to beat me to a traffic light or stop sign, or tailgates me:

I'M GOING TO WIN IN A COLLISION WITH ANYTHING SMALLER THAN A SCHOOL BUS.

THIS INCLUDES YOU.

So do me a favor - stay clear of me or at least give me the same respect you give OTHER drivers in cars like yours on the road. Just because I'm bigger and slower does NOT mean I don't exist - if we get into a tangle, you're going to end up in alot worse shape than you will in a collision with something smaller.

[EricKei]

I drive an old Grand Marquis. I think the only reason I don't (usually) get road rage at people who cut me off is the knowledge that, if I *do* end up hitting them because of their erratic, often illegal, methods of driving, the simple fact is that their vehicle will be a pretzel while mine will likely suffer nothing worse than a messed-up bumper >_<

[Megg]

I drive a Mercury Villager. It is not the tank my mom's '69 Chevy pickup was, but those retarded "moms" that seem to go out of their way to hit me are going to get a surprise when their little convertible does not shove me out of the way. I keep thinking I should just not react fast enough one of these times and let them hit me. My van could use some paint, 5 years in Idaho really did a number on it.

[Salted Grump]

I did some math, actually; It's kinda interesting. My Ford Focus (Aka. the Fuckus, because it's a piece of crap), weighs upwards of 3500 pounds. (About 1.75 tons) It's like a large, plastic-coated bullet, and it's the lightest of the cars I have.

(the others are a Honda Odysey, Volkswagen Jetta (all-steel), Dodge Dart (With Leaning Tower of Power) and a Buick Skylark with a 350 ci V8. (the engine weighs more than most modern car Front halves do)

More recent cars, like the Fit, or the Yaris, or what-have-you, like those pregnant Rollerskates (Smarts) made by Mercedes, If they hit ANY of my cars, would end up losing the argument, very quickly.

[protege]

Some of the older small cars are pretty tough--I've posted about the Lexus ES-something that hit my Toyota Tercel before. All I had damaged, was the left-rear corner..while the Lexus was pretty messed up. His entire front end was a mess--hood, grille, bumper, both lights, radiator...plus the crack left in the windshield when his cell phone hit it. My car drove away under its own power. His...made it to the corner, then expired in a cloud of steam

Seriously though, some people turn into raging idiots around large vehicles. I've seen people cut off *semis* on the highway. Stupid, since one of those trucks can literally knock you into next month

Also, the suspension systems on many older minivans are a bit crude. They simply can't handle sudden changes in direction, because they were never designed to be sports cars. Doesn't stop idiots from driving them like that though...

[Andara Bledin]

Way back when I was still with my ex, he was driving our AMC Hornet. (It looks a lot like an Eagle or Gremlin) He was coming out of a parking lot lane into an alley, but there were some trees blocking his view.

He, being the ADHD personality he is, decided that since he couldn't see anyone, he'd go ahead an pull out. Of course, just because he couldn't see anyone doesn't mean that he could see that the way was clear. Then we wouldn't have a story.

So, he pulls out right in time to run into a Toyota pickup. As he was turning right, the front left bumper of the Hornet rammed into the front left corner panel on the Toyota, just in front of the driver's door. I think he'd actually managed to reach 5 mph before the collision.

The Toyota was rendered immediately unsafe to drive. I think a bit of the quarter panel was actually against the wheel.

As for the Hornet, well, the left front headlight was missing the mounting bracket, so it was actually held in place with a bit of metal strapping. It wasn't particularly secure, so when the cars met, the headlight was jarred loose and fell out of the socket on to the ground. Other than that, you couldn't even tell there had been an accident.

^-.-^