Stupid cyclist! You go squish now!

[Lace Neil Singer]

This is in no way directed at the vast majority of cyclists, who obey the rules of the road and take note of other road users. This is meant for the cyclists that I call "Lycra Louts" who seem to think that their bicycle is vastly superior to any other vehicle. Having said that...

1. Red light means stop. Yup, you have to stop at traffic lights too. You wouldn't want to meet a lorry going the other way, now would you?

2. Get the fuck out the way! If there are vehicles sporting a combustion engine behind you, and you're cycling two or three abreast, then get out the way. One day some idiot will mow you down.

3. Use those sockets in your skull and look. Don't just shoot out in front of me at a t junction, causing me to slam my brakes on. If we collide, you will come off worst, believe me.

4. Helmet. Wear one. Let me put it this way; if your head meets the road, it will go splat and your brains, or the cobwebs and dust bunnies masquerading as your brains, will be splattered accross the road. So wear a fucking helmet. And proper shoes, not flipflops.

5. Lights. When you cycle in the dark, and don't use lights, no-one can see you, genius.


Feel free to add any more rants.

[crazylegs]

These really bug me, I'm a 'proper' cyclist. I stop at red lights etc etc etc and watching these idiots really bugs me. Especially those with no lights at night, although I have a particularly effective method for dealing with them!

[taxguykarl]

I am genuinely amazed that more cyclists don't get hit here in Chicagoland.
I see the exact same antics described in the OP.

[KellyHabersham]

Not a driving rant per se, but......the roads near my apartment don't have marked bike lanes, so cyclists use the sidewalks. Not a problem, except that many of them like to weave all over the sidewalk, so it's impossible to tell in which direction you need to move to get out of their way, and when they're coming up behind you, they wait until they're less than a foot away before saying anything.

[WhiteRose]

problem with that...i've had people say something and then i try to get out of their way...just to find that i'm ALREADY out of their way and then i MOVE in their way, without realizing....

[Lace Neil Singer]

These really bug me, I'm a 'proper' cyclist. I stop at red lights etc etc etc and watching these idiots really bugs me. Especially those with no lights at night, although I have a particularly effective method for dealing with them!

Running them over? Do tell. XD

My method for rant #2 is to blast my horn; being a motorcyclist, it's surprisingly easy to sneak up on cyclists who insist on blocking the entire lane. It makes me happy to see them practically jump out of their saddles.

Mean I know, but I don't want to be late for work, dammit. XD

[crazylegs]

Running them over? Do tell. XD

If I'm at work I'll get a shovel out the boot of the car (if I'm in one) and inform them that I don't want to be scraping them off the tarmac with it.

It works in about 90% of all cases!

[edible_hat]

All 5 of those also violate the law! A couple of years ago, the police announced they were going to crack down on cyclists disobeying the laws. Over 1000 fined in a week.

There is (or was, his luck may have run out) one cyclist here who is very lucky I got my car's brakes fixed when I did. The night of the day after I got the new brakes, I was driving home when this cyclist with no lights or helmet suddenly turned in front of me. Slamming on the brakes, I stopped close enough to see the "oops I crapped my pants" look on his face.


ETA: Early one morning (it was still dark) I saw a cyclist get pulled over by the police for not having lights. The very next day, in the same place, there he was again discussing something with a motorcycle cop.

[Nyoibo]

Don't put your damn dirty hands on my car, you've got a foot, use it, my car is not a damn rest stop for you.

[WhiteRose]

i dont get close enough to cars to DO that, but if I ever did it'd be in extenuating circumstances...soon i'll have a car (i hope)...

[protege]

I'm probably the only person here...who has been rear-ended by some idiot on a bike I was in a line of traffic, when the cars ahead of me suddenly stopped. I hit the brakes and heard a "thud" behind me. Turned around, and saw someone peeling their face off my rear window Seems he wasn't paying attention...and hit me. Didn't stop him from threatening to call the cops. At least nothing happened--instead, he got cited for being a bit tipsy

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I'm probably the only person here...who has been rear-ended by some idiot on a bike

If I were you, I wouldn't have that etched on my tombstone years from now when I'm gone.

Here lies Protege

Took out by a bike to the rear.

[lupo pazzesco]

If I were you, I wouldn't have that etched on my tombstone years from now when I'm gone.

Here lies Protege

Took out by a bike to the rear.

Well...that just about wiped out all the sheer hell I dealt with at work this week, thanks!

Even better, I had an inkling not to have a drink while reading this thread, so no Rule 1 violation. And my streak continues!!! Go me!!

[jedimaster91]

A couple summers ago, a cyclist was killed by a car. The local news station did a huge expose on cyclists and drivers. It was an interesting diachotamy as one of the good ones was on camera complaining about how the car drivers don't share the road. And then there was footage of the idiot cyclists who can't follow the rules of the road. These threads remind me of that segment.

[Bandit]

There's a big push around here to educate pedestrians and cyclists about the actual rules of the road - i.e. don't walk into the middle of a street while glued to a cell or a crackberry and expect people to stop.

Just remember - everyone else on the road is either an idiot or an asshole.

B