So I'm taking my kid to her dance lessons Monday afternoon and I'm going through this narrow section of road that curves under an ancient concrete railroad bridge and winds through an overgrown swampy area where there is a creek. Chick on my ass is not exactly tailgating per se, but she is waaay too close.
I was speeding just a tad...and when I say speeding I mean I was going between thirty and thirty five...the speed limit under the bridge is 25, and in all honestly, I was slowing down a tad (it is a tight squeeze through the concrete support and I drive a van). Well, Ass Chick decided how dare I slow down and decides to hit her accelerator just as I rounded the corner and an old guy with a fishing pole over his shoulder steps right the fuck out in front of my van.
Saint Christopher his own damn self was on the road Monday, okay? Somehow, I managed not to hit the old guy. I hit the brakes and came to a very rapid stop, fully expecting to get rear ended. Old guy gets an "oh shit" look on his face and jumps out of the way, and the chick behind me somehow, someway, managed to not hit me. She came to within an inch of my bumper, but she didn't hit me. Girlfriend left most of her tires and her brake shoes all over that road.
And I'm not entirely sure she didn't scream. I saw her face in the rear view and if she didn't crap her upholstery, I'm Marlene Dietrich.
She was behind me for another half a mile or so, and guess what? She was well adn truly off my bumper for the entire time, let me tell you. A semi would have had no trouble getting between us at that point.
Maybe it will make her think a bit for a week. Maybe.
Tell you what, next time I go through that squeeze, I will be putting along at twenty five. No doubt there. And I bet from now on, Pops remembers to look before crossing.
I was speeding just a tad...and when I say speeding I mean I was going between thirty and thirty five...the speed limit under the bridge is 25, and in all honestly, I was slowing down a tad (it is a tight squeeze through the concrete support and I drive a van). Well, Ass Chick decided how dare I slow down and decides to hit her accelerator just as I rounded the corner and an old guy with a fishing pole over his shoulder steps right the fuck out in front of my van.
Saint Christopher his own damn self was on the road Monday, okay? Somehow, I managed not to hit the old guy. I hit the brakes and came to a very rapid stop, fully expecting to get rear ended. Old guy gets an "oh shit" look on his face and jumps out of the way, and the chick behind me somehow, someway, managed to not hit me. She came to within an inch of my bumper, but she didn't hit me. Girlfriend left most of her tires and her brake shoes all over that road.
And I'm not entirely sure she didn't scream. I saw her face in the rear view and if she didn't crap her upholstery, I'm Marlene Dietrich.
She was behind me for another half a mile or so, and guess what? She was well adn truly off my bumper for the entire time, let me tell you. A semi would have had no trouble getting between us at that point.
Maybe it will make her think a bit for a week. Maybe.
Tell you what, next time I go through that squeeze, I will be putting along at twenty five. No doubt there. And I bet from now on, Pops remembers to look before crossing.

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