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To all the drivers turning left from 4th to Guadalupe:
This is not a pinball game.
You do not get bonus points for every foot closer you're able to swerve your car to a pedestrian trying to cross the street.
You do not get a free play for eliciting shrieks of terror from pedestrians as they frantically try to dive out of the way of your maniacal course.
You also do not lose points for waiting the 15 seconds it takes me to clear your path before gunning your engine and flying around the corner on two wheels.
You may, however, be subject to a permanent TILT error when I smash your windshield with my catapulting body after you misjudge the distance between said body and the front grill of your pickup.
Or, you could, you know, slow the fuck down and grant me the right of way I'm supposed to have when that little glowing white stick figure says it's theoretically safe for me to cross the street.
I've figured out why downtown has so many jaywalkers - it's not actually disrespect for the law, being in a hurry, or entitlement attitudes; it's self-preservation knowing that when that light turns green, they're left completely at the mercy of every idiot that wants to turn left IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW OUTTA THE WAY SUCKERS regardless of whoever happens to be occupying the crosswalk at that particular moment.
This is not a pinball game.
You do not get bonus points for every foot closer you're able to swerve your car to a pedestrian trying to cross the street.
You do not get a free play for eliciting shrieks of terror from pedestrians as they frantically try to dive out of the way of your maniacal course.
You also do not lose points for waiting the 15 seconds it takes me to clear your path before gunning your engine and flying around the corner on two wheels.
You may, however, be subject to a permanent TILT error when I smash your windshield with my catapulting body after you misjudge the distance between said body and the front grill of your pickup.
Or, you could, you know, slow the fuck down and grant me the right of way I'm supposed to have when that little glowing white stick figure says it's theoretically safe for me to cross the street.
I've figured out why downtown has so many jaywalkers - it's not actually disrespect for the law, being in a hurry, or entitlement attitudes; it's self-preservation knowing that when that light turns green, they're left completely at the mercy of every idiot that wants to turn left IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW OUTTA THE WAY SUCKERS regardless of whoever happens to be occupying the crosswalk at that particular moment.
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