The Fun New Fad That's Sweeping The Nation!

[Ben_Who]

It's called "Walking right down the middle of a busy street!"

"Oh, look, we've had a light dusting of snow! The sidewalks are completely impassable, at least while I'm wearing my micro-mini cocktail dress with the fishnets up to my nipples and my baby-seal leather eight inch platform stilletoes! I can't possibly be expected to wallow through the hip-deep Dr. Zhivago wasteland that our sidewalks have become!"

Not to worry, because the plow trucks have made the traffic lanes nice and smooth! Why, all that rock salt has made the pavement completely clear! Simply walk RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE LANE! Why, look! Everyone is doing it!

"Hi, Henrietta!" "Oh, hi Hal!" "Walking right down the middle of a busy street?" "Why, yes, I am! So are two hundred other people along this single two-lane stretch of downtown road!" "So, did you see that new movie yet--" HONK! HONK! "Good heavens, how rude!" "I know, can't he see we're having a conversation here?" "Ha ha, I'm having two! I'm on my cell phone!" "Oh, you cheeky scamp! So am I!"

(Be sure to stay as far away from the snowbanks as possible. Snowbanks are dirty. Don't even give the impression that you're trying to stay out of the way of cars, or they'll try to take YOUR lane from you. Just keep reminding yourself that if any of them hit you, you'll sue them into poverty. Even if it means spending the rest of your life eating through a straw.)

Yes, every day, crowds of people in this city are getting where they need to go by picking their way through heavy traffic. After all, it's worth risking the only body you have, in the name of defending one of your six hundred pairs of shoes. They'll be out of style in a week, but your body will last the rest of your life!

The sidewalks grow so narrow after a heavy snow. Why share them with all the ORDINARY people? You're SPECIAL! You're more important than anyone! Fling yourself into traffic today, and walk right down the middle of the lane! You'll have plenty of company, and it's NEVER boring!

(Walking down the middle of the street, Ltd., is not responsible for any death or dismemberment that may result from your using its services. This offer void in Nebraska, and, in fact, all the rest of the states as well. Really, guys, they spent a lot of money plowing those sidewalks. Use 'em.)

[Racket_Man]

It's called "Walking right down the middle of a busy street!"

"Oh, look, we've had a light dusting of snow! The sidewalks are completely impassable, at least while I'm wearing my micro-mini cocktail dress with the fishnets up to my nipples and my baby-seal leather eight inch platform stilletoes! I can't possibly be expected to wallow through the hip-deep Dr. Zhivago wasteland that our sidewalks have become!"

Not to worry, because the plow trucks have made the traffic lanes nice and smooth! Why, all that rock salt has made the pavement completely clear! Simply walk RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE LANE! Why, look! Everyone is doing it!

not only the woman in the slut outfit but joggers, dog walkers, small children, rabbits, squirrels, and the brain dead teenagers.

I almost go run off the road by a snow plow because some stuck up jogger would not move out of the middle of the lane

[Argabarga]

Sadly, I've seen people do this in the summertime too

[teh_blumchenkinder]

You're also assuming they know who/what Dr. Zhivago is.
Also, those people are asshats. Asshats in place of brains.

[Mytical]

Oh I just love coming up to a group of people standing in the street. When you try to push through with your 2000+ lb vehicle, they just look at you as if you are crazy. Swear the people that live on the small street that leads to my even smaller street have the iq of a rock. Wait..is that insulting to rocks?

[Ben_Who]

There's a neighborhood around the corner from me where the inhabitants are transplants from someplace like Brooklyn or something where the roads aren't a constant tangle of cars and it's still possible to get a street hockey or stickball game in. It has yet to penetrate their minds that the middle of a downtown street is not a good place to carry on a conversation or catch up on old times with a long-lost friend. These people are waaaay too comfortable with just hanging out in the middle of a traffic lane.

I keep expecting to come around that corner onto Forest St. and see a family of four having a picnic on the double-yellow. That curve is very blind and blazing with yellow cautions for drivers. Sooner or later, some kid WILL get mowed down there.

Tragically, we do get a few fatalities along those lines every year, and some of them are people who thought that holding up one hand while looking the other way was sufficient to stop a 2500 lb. heavy machine with poor traction, poor visibility, and not a lot of room to maneuver.

[XCashier]

I think the police would be quite interested to hear about this. They could write enough tickets to fill their quota for months!

Anybody stupid enough to wear platform stiletto shoes in snow deserves what they get, IMNSHO.

[LillFilly]

People walking in the road really bother me when there's a nice sidewalk right there; sometimes they sort of weave into your lane and you never know when that's going to happen!

Reminds me of a track team that decided to train on the road that goes along our mall; about 30 or so, taking up a whole lane one-way. We told them to GTFO.