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  • #1

    Jerk-Face

    Inspired by this post

    So last week me and the parental units went out to St. Louis. My sister was graduating from Wash U Law. Not too much to report about the trip out (apart from the INCESSANT RAIN), but the trip back gave us one bit of irritation. Or at least gave Dad one.

    We were in Virginia, I believe on I-81. Lot of truck traffic (as there was for most of the trip as well), as well as car traffic. One specimen, we'll call him Jerk-Face, absolutely had to be at the head of the line in the left lane. He would speed up to get in front of people, and then, because he's a jerkface, he'd slow down whenever he was passing a truck in the right lane.

    Dad tried passing him at least three times, either being blocked by J-F when he'd speed up to prevent the passing, or because J-F slowed down to let traffic in the right lane cut Dad off.

    Dad eventually got around Jerk-Face and started getting well ahead of him. J-F sped up to try to get back in front of him, but alas for Jerk-Face, his little shitbox couldn't match speed with our car.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!
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  • #2
    And that's when I have my boyfriend whip out his cell phone, take an obvious pic (or pretend to, at least), and call highway patrol with a report of a guy driving unsafely and obstructing traffic.

    ^-.-^
    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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    • #3
      I don't get people like that. I rarely run into someone who does the double whammy such as the OP's story, but I constantly run into people who refuse to be passed. So no matter what speed they want to go, you're stuck unless you want to risk putting the pedal to the metal and gunning it really quick for a burst of speed just to get past them. It's almost always a guy doing this. Even if they just want to toodle at 65, if you go to pass them, they'll speed up to a little more than 70, so most people would just give it up and get back behind them, but no, back down to 65.....so you go to pass......rinse, wash, repeat.

      People like that need medication or to quit driving.

      What I hate even more is when it's someone who has been going slow for quite some time, as in, a whole spat of traffic has just passed them, and I happen to be the last one of the bunch to get into the left lane, and that person all of a sudden decides that they don't want to be passed anymore, so they go to gun it.
      You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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      • #4
        You see this behavior alot in Michigan. Plus the added fun of blocking you if you turn on your turn signal. I have had people speed up and drive next to me to stop me from getting in a turn lane. Some people need therapy or anger management.

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        • #5
          I used to see that a lot in Northern Ontario.

          The main highway is two-lanes for the most part, but every few km/miles, there's a passing lane for one direction or the other. These may be about a mile or two long and are clearly signed "Keep Right except to pass".

          So, of course Grandpa Dynamite, who has been going 20km *below* the speed limit for the last 25 km not pull over, he will race you until the end of the passing lane.

          And then slow back down to his/hers/its previous crawl.

          There were more than a few times that I wish I could have replaced the high-beams in my car with twin .50 machine guns.........

          B
          "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
          I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

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          • #6
            there was a case here a few years ago of a man REFUSED to let this car get back into the lane BEHIND HIM...speeding up to make sure he couldn't get in front of him, and slowing down so he couldn't get back behind him....

            on a 2 lane road....

            the poor person got killed due to this man's idiocy because of the oncoming traffic that didn't see him...
            It is by snark alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire 'tude, the lips acquire mouthiness, the glares become a warning.

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            • #7
              Quoth Sarlon View Post
              the poor person got killed due to this man's idiocy because of the oncoming traffic that didn't see him...
              o_O I really hope the driver-idiot at least served some jail time for that >_>
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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              • #8
                Oh dear.

                I think if that were me, then, I'd be thinking, "Better to scrape up the side of my car shoving my way back over than to hit another car head on," but that assumes I could see the other car coming in time. Good heavens.
                "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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                • #9
                  Quoth Sarlon View Post
                  there was a case here a few years ago of a man REFUSED to let this car get back into the lane BEHIND HIM...speeding up to make sure he couldn't get in front of him, and slowing down so he couldn't get back behind him....

                  on a 2 lane road....

                  the poor person got killed due to this man's idiocy because of the oncoming traffic that didn't see him...
                  If I were in a situation like that, where bozo was making a collision inevitable, and I had to choose between:

                  1. Innocent oncoming driver goes head-on with a semi
                  2. Idiot gets pushed through the guardrail

                  it would be an easy choice. Rule 1 of the highway: 4-wheelers don't force big rigs off the road.
                  Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth wolfie View Post
                    1. Innocent oncoming driver goes head-on with a semi
                    2. Idiot gets pushed through the guardrail

                    it would be an easy choice.
                    I'm thinking similar. Better to be in a collision where the other car is going to same direction as you (relatively low-impact), rather than head-on at speed (high-impact compared to the other option).
                    "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                    - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Kogarashi View Post
                      I'm thinking similar. Better to be in a collision where the other car is going to same direction as you (relatively low-impact), rather than head-on at speed (high-impact compared to the other option).
                      Exactly. If I recall my high school physics classes correctly (and that's a pretty big IF...), the effective impact "force" of a collision, for lack of a proper term, is something like (Speed of vehicle 1 X its mass) + (Speed of vehicle 2 X its mass) if they're headed towards one another head-on. In other words, Two cars in a head-on collision at 60mph will smush together with roughly the same force as ONE car hitting a brick wall at 120mph. If they're going the same direction, it's closer to the *difference* between those two numbers (tho, I assume that the fact that they're moving at high speed can and will cause other issues, such as loss of control).

                      Even if my numbers are a bit off, I think you get the general idea. If they're way off, correct me. Please
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                      • #12
                        Well the energy of an object is 1/2 of the mass times velocity squared. E=(1/2)mv^2

                        The short version is that the heavier and faster things go, the bigger the splat they will make if they hit something.

                        If they hit something at the same mass and speed going the other way, the splat will be *much* bigger by an order of magnitude.

                        Thus, never try playing chicken with a train. The train will win. Always.

                        B
                        "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
                        I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

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                        • #13
                          Damn, if some idiot was doing that to me, I'd either pull over onto the other side of the road's shoulder, or just stopped completely. But that would depend on what all is going on, how safe I felt and so forth. I hope the idiot who was playing passing chicken will never drive again.

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                          • #14
                            Then you get the douches that decide to play. They're going slower than you and you pass them. Pretty soon, here the come and pass you, then slow down again to where you have to pass them. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

                            Look, I know that there's a whole lotta nothin' out there between south of Los Lunas (except for Socorro and TorC) and Las Cruces and boredom sets in, but I'm really, really not interested in playing games!
                            It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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