Train communiting lemmings

[Gizmo]

I seem to be running into more and more lemmings on the train these days.

I had a few lovely examples today:

People getting off the train with trolley cases:These people would get one step off the train and completely blocked the door whilst they pulled up the handle to their trolley case. Everyone else then piles into the back of them because they can't move. There were at least half a dozen of these today which is relatively unheard of.

Even more fun was the person 3-4 back from the first one to do this who was huffing and puffing at the first person holding them up... who then proceeded to step one step of the train and block the doors for everyone else whilst they pulled up the handle of their trolley case.

Oversize suitcase: This woman was standing in front of the ONE entry gate into the front of the station. She had her oversize suitcase blocking the entry gate so no one else could use it whilst her friend went to get a luggage trolley. Luckily there was another entry gate around the side so I walked the long way round to that.

Oversize duffel bag: This guy goes up to the usual exit gate which is barely a person wide with a duffel that is at least 1.5 people wide. About 2 minutes later he finally manages to cram the bag through the gate. He'd walked past and completely ignored the sign pointing to the wide luggage gate to get to the one he used.

The service dog family: This wasn't a pain on the family's part but more on the rest of the commuters. The amount of people who failed completely to notice the poor animal and tripped over him was astounding. What was worse was the woman who tripped over him on the way to her seat to put her handbag down (next to her boyfriend) and then did exactly the same a few seconds later - yes, she didn't even sit down - when she walked back out to the bathroom.

The poor animal looked like every time someone got near him that he expected to be kicked or something. He kept trying to squeeze himself under the seat to get out of the way.

The ticket losers: I see these people every day. Every day they get off the train and walk up to the ticket gate and then hunt in every pocket for their ticket. I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't block the gate for so long or if I didn't see them do this every day.

EDIT: Forgot one: The train hugger This one was standing so close to the train that when the doors opened outwards they actually pushed him away from the train. He really wanted to get on first..

[ApolloSZ]

Ugh. I call them Sheeple.

I was ranting about it to a co-worker on the train last night. They forget things like basic physics. Two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. And because I'm bigger (and so used to this) I'll win.

Or the people who almost hump my leg waiting for me to get through the door. Oh look, I was a tad too slow and another sheeple got in. But didn't you know, if they don't get off the train that instant it might EXPLODE. Or something. I dunno.... -.-

[Chromatix]

Ah yes, commuters. The bane of suburban life everywhere.

Around here, people seem to treat the trains more reasonably. However there are still some regular incidents:

- People who stand up immediately after the train leaves Pasila, to be the first at the door when it reaches Helsinki. This takes about 5 minutes, longer if there's a stuck set of points or some other delay. The time between any other pair of stations (on the slow lines) is 1-2 minutes.

- People who stare at the doors when the train pulls into the platform and wonder why they don't open. You've got to press the button, dummy. I'd do it for you, but there's half a dozen other people, two prams and a bike in the way, and nobody else within reach of it has thought of it either. Bonus if they have been standing there for the past 5 minutes (see above).

- Everyone piles into the front of the train so as to be at the front of the flood of humanity heading for the Metro station. It just means that they can't find a seat and will take longer to get off. Meanwhile I'm starting at the back of the train, but I'll still overtake you.

- Every time the ticket inspectors swoop in (this is not the conductor's job here, he just sells tickets and watches the doors) there's always at least one and usually two people in each carriage who don't have a ticket.

- At a specific point on the journey, the automatic announcement of stations is supplemented by a warning not to smoke or drink alcohol on board (the Swedish is "absolut förbydet" though I've probably spelled that wrong). I've still lost count of the number of spilled cans and bottles on the train - and *every* time it is alcoholic. You'd expect kids to spill their fruit juice more often.

- People smoke on the platform while waiting for the train. Then they light up the *instant* they get off it, only to throw away the half-smoked stub when they reach the Metro station entrance. Meanwhile everyone else in the flood of humanity has to breathe their smoke. On the way home, they light up before crossing the enclosed bridge over the railway.

- On the Metro, people are often seen bouncing off the doors just after they have closed. They have a hustle alarm, and I've found that I can always stop myself from full flight if it's clear I'm not going to make that train. The next one's in 5 minutes.

- There aren't any actual ticket barriers here. There are, however, small machines for the contactless smartcards (it's not quite like Oyster, but close) at the entrance of each Metro platform area - you're suposed to get a valid ticket before entering the platform. At the central station these are at the top of the escalators, which are normally configured so only one escalator goes down to the platform and the other three go back up (it's all about pulse loading). But there is a single machine for each escalator. No prizes for guessing how often people step obliviously away from the machine and into my season-ticket-holding path.

- Speaking of the escalators, it is amazing how many people take bikes and pushchairs on them. There are lifts for a good reason.

[Geek King]

To be fair, I've never seen a commuter train that needed someone to push a button to open doors at stops, so that would probably flummox me a couple of times, too. I'd like to think I'd learn quickly, though.

[Gizmo]

Encountered another annoying one today (I was going shopping in the next big town over)

I got to the train station with about 7 minutes before the train which is a little uncharacteristic for me. I'm normally really early but this was a spur of the moment decision since I had been abandoned for a music concert by the hubby.

There are about 6 people waiting in the ticket office queue and each of the 3 machines has 2 groups (2-3 people each) waiting at it. Every one of these fall into the type I'll call the socials. They would press a button on the screen, turn and talk to their friend for about a minute*, turn back and press another... I'm sure that one even paused for a chat halfway through his pin number!

I really thought I was going to miss my train and have to wait until the next one in half an hour. Finally one of the machines was finished with and the guy steps away.. one step, still blocking the machine(talking to his friend who was using the next machine). I edged my way in between him and the machine, muttering 'excuse me' unfortunately catching his shoulder slightly. He turns round and mutters "sorry!" in a pissed off tone and goes back to talking to his friend... without moving.

I barely made it to the train with only a few seconds to spare.... Although the train was then held up by a couple of minutes by those same groups getting one step on the train and then deciding to have a conference as to where in the train they would sit/stand. No, don't move out the way of the doors so that the rest of us can get on... that would be sensible! (and there was a void just beyond the doors that if they'd stepped 2 steps to the right they could have easily stood in and be out of the way. A couple of people in front of me were even trying to ask them to move that way but were being ignored.)


*possibly in customer standard time ... I didn't time it.