New member - real old routine

[Mini Mammoth]

Hi - long time lurker, first time poster. Here's hoping I'm brief but entertaining!

I work in a shop. I am pretty average looking I think, but there is one thing about me that makes me stand out - I have severe excema. It's pretty noticeable, as it's all over my hands and my face and it has at times affected the way I move or ability to work. Now since I've had this pretty much all my life for the most part, I don't care. I'm not telling you this for sympathy or to make out how brave I am, it's the truth. Aside from when it's SERIOUSLY bad, I just plain don't notice it for the most part.

In fact, it's actually come in handy once or twice. When I was teaching, the kids were FASCINATED by it. I was SO much cooler to pay attention to because I looked outside the norm. When I couldn't clap my hands to get the class's attention because my hands were playing up, the kid were clarmouring to be the next one to help out Miss Mammoth and clap their hands for her Like I said, kids are intrigued by it and I really don't mind when little kids pipe up in the shop 'Why's that lady got chicken pox?' or 'Why're that lady's hands all bad?', because I know they're just interested - it's something new, they find out what it is, bam! they know, they move on. I like explaining to kids, I like to think it leaves them more open to the unusual-looking later on.

Now, compare this reaction to those of an increasing number of my adult customers. I know that many of these people mean well, but I can't help thinking it's rather rude to point out to a complete stranger that they have a noticeable ailment? Which is essentially what they're doing I think; 'Oh, that's excema isn't it? Yes, my daughter's sister's cousin's dog's owner's neighbour has that, it's terrible isn't it?'. Isn't this basically saying 'There's something wrong with you - I CAN RELATE TO THAT AND HERE'S HOW'.

These people are an annoyance - usually when they do this I try to outgross them Well, if they want to talk about it then, by golly, we're going to talk about it, in all it's glorious detail!

However, there are some who do upset me, and I'd like to know if I'm getting over the top here. I get really quite a few medical professionals diagnosing me. Not only do most of these people get it wrong (I see a dermatologist regularly. Not one of these people have been as specialised as he is), but each time they diagnose me they do so right in public. One told me 'its ok, I'm a doctor' in the middle of a crowded department and wanted to know what I use, umming and ahhing all the while and nodding in approval as I stammered out a surprised reply (I know, I shouldn't have, chalk it up to surprise). Another wanted to know if I was seeing a 'good doctor', as the one I was seeing clearly wasn't any help (my skin is currently the best it can get - my self esteem took a wee nose dive then). Another, when I jokingly explained to him after he demanded to know what I was using that this was the best my face had been in a long time, exclaimed 'REALLY?!', right at the till. I've even had a homeopathic doctor try to diagnose me, but at least he had the grace to take me aside and look shamefaced when I informed him he'd given the wrong diagnosis.

The latest assured me that it was ok to talk about it, he was a doctor (with other customers right there to listen in), and he knew it could be cured, I just needed to go to Fancy Hospital. With him, it was clear he Knew All and it was of little use to explain that I had in fact tried a lot of the latest treatments with little to no effect and that no, it cannot always be cured, despite what his doctor wife 'who had it herself' says. But it's ok, he's a doctor, which obviously trumps my skin specialist dermatologist and means it's pefectly fine, as with all the others, to bring up my ailments in public, even when he doesn't even know my name, let alone my medical history.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt any of them would go up to a person with a cane and practice their diagnosis skills. Or maybe it's just me getting bent out of shape, maybe I should suck it up and be thicker-skinned because after all..... they're all doctors.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Aislin]

I have been misdiagnosed for years as having excema myself, sadly excema was just a symptom. I have celiacs. The excema is just a symptom of my disorder and as long as I treat the celiacs my excema it stays in remission. I can relate, it is so annoying to have everyone tell you, try this cream or pill. I wish people would learn to judge people on their actions rather than their looks.

[Seshat]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt any of them would go up to a person with a cane and practice their diagnosis skills.

They do.

[fireheart]

In fact, it's actually come in handy once or twice. When I was teaching, the kids were FASCINATED by it. I was SO much cooler to pay attention to because I looked outside the norm. When I couldn't clap my hands to get the class's attention because my hands were playing up, the kid were clarmouring to be the next one to help out Miss Mammoth and clap their hands for her Like I said, kids are intrigued by it and I really don't mind when little kids pipe up in the shop 'Why's that lady got chicken pox?' or 'Why're that lady's hands all bad?', because I know they're just interested - it's something new, they find out what it is, bam! they know, they move on. I like explaining to kids, I like to think it leaves them more open to the unusual-looking later on.

I find that incredibly adorable. It's one of the reasons why I'm glad I chose to specialise in Special Education with a focus on mainstreaming children: they are a lot more accepting than you think.

I have yet to ask if one of the kids in my partner's re-enactment group has asked my partner if he's drawn on himself (partner has a tattoo on his back, kid in question is 4 years old)

[PepperElf]

Not one of these people have been as specialised as he is), but each time they diagnose me they do so right in public.

Is it bad that the first thing I thought of was … "So if you're trying to be my doctor, explain how discussing my condition in public fits in with HIPAA."

[Captain Trips]

Is it bad that the first thing I thought of was … "So if you're trying to be my doctor, explain how discussing my condition in public fits in with HIPAA."

Exactly what I was thinking. Remind them that, if they really are a doctor, they are putting their license in jeopardy with such a blatant HIPAA violation!

[EricKei]

First, to !! We've chocolate and bacon by the boatload (though you may have to fight over the latter ), and drinks by the case if you're of age. Vent all you like, that's what we're here for!

I must agree with PE's sentiment, here ^_^ I'd say go for it IF the management will let you get away with it. If not, just do your best to pretend you didn't hear what they said, and redirect them to stuff that you are there to sell.

After all, calling someone out on that *while you are trying to help them as a customer* is not bad customer service, it's turning the subject of conversation BACK to the store and its merch, where it belongs Your health is your business and your doctor's; nobody else's unless you say otherwise.

[Jay 2K Winger]

"It's okay, I'm a doctor."

Yeah, and so's Denis Leary, but I wouldn't listen to his medical opinion.

Next time one of those "it's okay, I'm a doctor" guys speaks up, cut them off and ask them "Are you a skin care specialist or a dermatologist? No? Then you can't realistically help me."

[Halo_miles]

I have to mention to people once in awhile that my hearing is quite poor, and this is usually after I've asked them to repeat themselves a few times. Yes, I understand it's annoying, and yes, it sucks, but the worst is when people start saying, "I didn't know *store* hired handicaps!" I'm not walking around with a missing leg, for Christ's sake. My ailment may not be noticeable, but I feel for you. It's frustrating as hell.

[raudf]

Good grief, I'm afraid, I'd be very tempted to say, "You don't say?! Well, I'm a doctor too! Sure, it may be in ART, but ya know, I'm still a doctor." (No, I do not have a doctorate in art, but they wouldn't know that now would they?)

I was diagnosed with very mild psoriasis, mostly small patches on elbows, knees, nape of neck and an area around the left eye that has started acting up. I have asked people what they use for treating skin ailments like that, because I want to see if it might work for me too. Compare notes, so to speak. But I try to do that in a less public place, because.. eeewww.

[Mini Mammoth]

Aislin - The last guy was insistant that it was all tied up with diet, no matter how many times I told him that in my case, no, it really wasn't. For which I am truly grateful, little greedy guts that I am - you have my sympathy. Do you have the same situation over there as here, where allergies seem to be becoming more catered for so you can at least find ways to make your favourites without incurring the wrath of the dietry gods? I hope so

Seshat - Damn. I'm so sorry you get it too - what on Earth is going through their minds?! I understand the need to help, but I swear half the time they're not about helping, more showing off what they know and do. Or at least that's the distinct impression I've got from some (to be fair, not all).

Fireheart - they really are! I don't give a monkeys when kids ask (up to an age), I'd rather they asked than stored it away as something to be wary of. Other non-excema-y parts of my appearance often prompt questions and not-so-quiet whispers from little ones - if your friend gets them for his tattoo, enjoy them I do! I even started making up stories about how I came to look this way (cucumber sandwiches are involved )

PepperElf, Erickei and Captain Trips - I'll have to check what HIPAA is and what the equivalent is in my country. See if my manager will let me use that as a conversation closer - thank you!

Jay2K - *snort* Mentally, I'll yell that

Halo_miles - It so does not suck to be asked to speak up or repeat! It's basic courtesy on the customer's part and really not that difficult, especially if you're like me and just plain don't know how quietly or how fast you're speaking. I can speak up easily, and I can't be so far out of the norm that it's not just as easy for a bunch of other people including your customers to do it too.

raudf - Ew is right - excema is never pretty, but at least it's easier if the person talking to you about it has it themselves and hopefully like yourself brings it up more discretely. Although if they recommend evening primrose oil I do tend to tune them out

Thank you everyone for your answers - at least I know I'm not getting annoyed/upset over nothing. I'll talk to my manager and see if there's anything I can say to nip these types of conversation in the bud.

[cinema guy]

I've had excema most of my live, so you have my sympathy. These days it tends just to be a red rash on my face, and people ask me if I've been out in the sun, even if when I've been at work all week in the middle of British winter.

[MoonCat]

Welcome to Customerssuck!

I find it really appalling that a stranger would even try to engage you in conversation about this. I would never ask someone I didn't know questions about their medical issues.

What do you bet that if a stranger stopped one of those doctors on the way out and asked him to have a look at their bad leg or whatever, he'd sneer, hand them a business card, and stomp out?

[PepperElf]

Or just slip on a bow tie and say "I"m a doctor of everything!"

just do your best to pretend you didn't hear what they said, and redirect them to stuff that you are there to sell.

True. It's a polite way to say "I'm not intrested. Let's get back to business."


and... chocolate & bacon... or if we're feeling creative it's chocolate-bacon!

[macphile]

When I saw the start of your post, I thought it was going to be along the lines of customers freaking out if you touch their food or something. Now I'm now entirely sure what's worse? It's all bad, maybe.