More tales from the auto repair shop

[Automan Empire]

Forever Diagnosis Fred Guy on the phone asks a number of questions about [model of vehicle] with shifting issues; my every response loops back to, "We need to examine the vehicle to address your problem."

After several rounds of this, he has a new twist.

"Oh, you guys already DID a diagnostic."

Oh really.

"Yeah, remember? When I bought the car like a year and a half ago, you guys did the inspection."

Wait, a year and a half ago? Did the car have the shifting problem then?

"No, but you guys checked it out then, and found (rustling of papers) that the transmission.... fluid... was black, and you recommended that I change it."

Okay, did you ever change it?

"No, I never got around to bringing it back."

Okay (seeing how you really LISTEN to advice...) well we will need to get the car back in to see what is going on with the transmission NOW.

"But you guys already DID a diagnostic, a year and a half ago!"

He went round and round a few times, never did bring the car in.

************************************

Animal 3:30 in the afternoon, [Manager at other shop] and I have a 4 minute conversation about the cars in our shops. When I hang up, there are 4 new messages.

Received at 3:30 PM "Argle bargle bargle (random conversation for half a minute until) yeah, I don't know what kind of F$%^ED UP PHONE SYSTEM these people have!" Click!

Received at 3:31 PM "Hello? HELLO? CAN ANYONE PICK UP THE PHONE? HELLOOOOOO? IS THERE A #$%^ HUMAN BEING WHO CAN PICK UP THE PHOOOONNNEEEEE?" <click />

Received at 3:31 PM "Oh, I don't believe this! I'M TRYING TO SPEAK TO A HUMAN ABOUT MY CARRRR! WHAT KIND OF F#$%ED UP PHONE SYSTEM DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE OVER THERE? HELLO? IS THERE ANYONE THERE WHO CAN PICK UP THE PHONE? <click />

Received at 3:33 PM "OH MY GOD! EVERY TIME I CALL THERE I ALWAYS GET A MACHINE!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHICH NUMBER I CALL, BOTH OF YOUR SHOPS, WHENEVER I CALL, ALL I GET IS A MACHINE! IF THERE IS A HUMAN BEING WORKING AT YOUR PLACE, YOU NEED TO PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT ***NOW!!*** HELLO? HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOO?" <click />

New message just arrived. Received at 3:33 PM "Hello? F#$%! F#$% THESE GUYS AND THEIR ****F$%#ED UP**** PHONE SYSTEM! CALL ME! I NEED TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY CAR!" <click />

While listening to these voicemail messages, the guy leaves two more like the last one.

Finally I call the guy back on the same number, and guess what? The call goes right to voicemail!

So I called the number on the RO (this is a company vehicle) and talked to the very cordial manager guy who dropped the car off. I mentioned, "someone doesn't seem to know how voicemail works..." and the guy just chuckled knowingly.

You might expect this from some rube who doesn't get out much, but this guy is the PRESIDENT of a metal supplier with 3 DBAs under the corporation. He builds an enterprise of this size, only to completely lose his s#$t over a call going to voicemail when someone is already on the phone. Seriously, WTF big guy!

How about NO This customer got off on the right foot with me. "I just wanted to pick your brain." Seems he has been laid off and is trying to fix his wife's car on a budget, which is fine. He wanted to do most of the talking and refer to the INCORRECT pictures he had printed from the internet, which is NOT FINE!

"Do you think it's this sensor?" It might be, but it could be other things, and I am quite practiced at meeting passive aggression with stronger, yet more subtle passive aggression, allowing the brain picker to feel that they got free advice, without actually communicating anything useful for free that people normally at least offer to pay me for. This is a business after all, not a free brain-picking charity.

"Do you have the sensor? How much is it?" Walk into the back room, come back out holding a new sensor in a sealed [car manufacturer] bag; "I have the sensor in stock, it is $XX." Now my free brain picker turns histrionic on me. "$XX, Oh my GOOOOODDDDDD!" in a manner fit for a quote of $XXXX.XX, which amount is frequently approved without batting an eye here.

He probably needs a thermostat, which is 1/2 the price of the sensor, but his all-for-me, none-for-you approach inspired me to avoid uttering the word, "Thermostat" at any point in the discussion.

-Automan

[MoonCat]

Jeeez, I don't even drive and even I know a diagnostic from a year ago is worthless at this point...

The voicemail guy: Oh yes....we get those....What planet do you have to be from not to know that business voicemail doesn't work like an answering machine where you can hear the person leaving the mesage??

[manybellsdown]

I just needed to have my thermostat replaced. The thermostat itself was like $20. The bracket that holds it, that was also busted ... $75. Yay.

[EricKei]

My beloved aging car (2000 grand marquis) had the heater core go out juuuust as Winter was beginning to creep in (controls heat, A/C, defogger, and the ability to read the engine temp. unsure what else). Cost of replacement part: Under $200. Not fun, but not extreme...Installation: anywhere from 600-800 depending who you ask, due to the fact that the car's design requires removing the dashboard to GET to the damn thing.

My budget didn't even come close to allowing for that, and still doesn't, so we just had it bypassed for now for more like 60 >_> (Yes, I know, not a good idea)...No heater during the cold times was bad enough, so hopefully I will be able to survive by rolling down the air conditioners on ze car during Spring, Summer, and Son of the Revenge of Summer this year until I CAN afford to fix it properly.

Unlike the SC in the OP, however, I at least know to get the thing checked out when something goes wrong ^_^ I'd rather know what's going on, even if I can't afford to deal with it right away.

[Caractacus_Potts]

Let's see. FDF had you inspect the car 1-1/2 years ago. Transmission fluid came out black and you recommended changing it but he decided not to. Now he is having trouble shifting. My unseen diagnosis: You Fucked Up My Friend!

Second one is not too hard to figure out. He's the president of his own company. He is used to saying, "JUMP!" and having people ask him "How High?" while they are already on the way up. Talking to a machine is clearly beneath him. You should have known he was trying to call and hung up on the other manager to take his call immediately. This one was clearly your fault!

I have to admit when I was younger and poorer I did most of the repair work on my cars myself (I think the biggest repair I ever did was replacing the drive system on a Nissan 200SX from the universal joint back). I would often take my car to a garage, tell them up front that I would probably do the repair myself if I thought I could manage it and then PAY them to do the diagnostic and tell me what was wrong. Key word there I think is "PAY".

[wolfie]

I have to admit when I was younger and poorer I did most of the repair work on my cars myself (I think the biggest repair I ever did was replacing the drive system on a Nissan 200SX from the universal joint back). I would often take my car to a garage, tell them up front that I would probably do the repair myself if I thought I could manage it and then PAY them to do the diagnostic and tell me what was wrong. Key word there I think is "PAY".

Of course, if the mechanic were sharp he'd come back to you with "The problem is X. That'll be $amount1 for the diagnosis. If you want us to fix it, it'll be $amount2 including diagnostic fee, with $amount3 of that being for parts. You'll also need to have access to list_of_specialized_tools."

That way, if it were something where a large proportion of the cost was for parts (i.e. you'd have to pay it anyway if you did it yourself), and it needed a bunch of specialized tools you didn't have, there would be a fair chance of you hiring them to do the work.

[Caractacus_Potts]

Of course, if the mechanic were sharp he'd come back to you with "The problem is X. That'll be $amount1 for the diagnosis. If you want us to fix it, it'll be $amount2 including diagnostic fee, with $amount3 of that being for parts. You'll also need to have access to list_of_specialized_tools."

Well...$amount3 was usually Jack's Junk Yard. You went out into a huge filed, looked for the sign with your manufacturer, proweled the section until you found your model and year then pulled whatever part you needed from it. You could just tell them the part you needed and their people would pull it but you paid like half the price if you did the work yourself.

For that rear drive train I had feelers out at all the major junkyards within 100 miles and I still had to wait 9 months before one (pulled from a car from the U-Joint back so all I had to deal with was attaching it, tires and all, as one unit) became available. That turned a $2500 to $3000 quoted job to about $1000, two days of my own labor and several bloody knuckles learning by trial and error that the only way to connect the drive train to the car body was by doing the bolts in a certain order.

I did not own but had access to most of the basic tools and I hate to admit my age but, for cars I could afford anyway, there were not many specialized tools that would be required for any repair job I would attempt.

[protege]

That turned a $2500 to $3000 quoted job to about $1000, two days of my own labor and several bloody knuckles learning by trial and error that the only way to connect the drive train to the car body was by doing the bolts in a certain order.

Reminds me of rebuilding my car's entire front suspension last summer. All of the rubbers had perished, and both front shocks were leaking. Meaning, the car floated all over the place on bumps, and wouldn't pass state inspection. When I had the car in for service, the garage quoted a price of $several hundred to take things apart and replace the rubber bushings.

After some reading online and flipping through parts catalogs, I decided to do the job myself. I wanted to upgrade to stronger poly bushes anyway. Getting things apart was a pain--43 years of corrosion meant that nothing wanted to come off! After I had it all apart, I couldn't resist cleaning and painting the A arms. Then I thought I should refill the shocks with oil, fit new brake discs, calipers (the other reason for the car not passing inspection), and fit Grade 8 bolts. I had everything apart, so why not?

The only costs I incurred were for parts, some tools I didn't previously have (reciprocating saw for cutting seized bolts, impact driver, sockets, etc.), and a trip to the garage to have the braked bled and adjusted properly. Yeah, I know...but at the time I didn't have the square-nut wrench for the rear wheel cylinders!

I did not own but had access to most of the basic tools and I hate to admit my age but, for cars I could afford anyway, there were not many specialized tools that would be required for any repair job I would attempt.

Other than the square-nut wrench, the SU carb wrench, and the device used to balance carbs...there aren't many specialized tools I'd need. Nearly everything on that car can be fixed or replaced with basic hand tools.

Hell, I even refilled both front lever-arm (not telescopic) shocks on my workbench. Easy job--clean out the old fluid with cheap motor oil, refill with motorcycle oil, making sure to work it through the shock by moving the arm, clean up the sealing surface, refit the gaskets, and you're good

My daily-driver gets poked and prodded at the dealer. I can handle basic repairs, but I lack the tools required to understand Toyota's computer system

[Argabarga]

For what it's worth, I've never run across any car that I had to actually use the manufacturer's "specialized" tool for.

The specialized tools make it easier, but, there's nothing a little ingenuity and the sacrifice of a box wrench or two and maybe a little welding or hammering can't fix

The Porsches are the worst about this, EVERYTHING they claim requires a special tool, even something as innocuous as the spark plugs when your standard plug socket will take them out just as easy.... or demanding you use a special bleeding tool with a built in reservoir to bleed the brakes when you can do it just as well with a wrench and dixie cup.

To me a true "specialized tool" is a sucky customer

[dalesys]

For what it's worth, I've never run across any car that I had to actually use the manufacturer's "specialized" tool for.

I have extracted a radiator with only a boy scout knife and a few knuckles I wasn't using much...


What? I had to see Hendrix! (or somebody).

[mathnerd]

I have extracted a radiator with only a boy scout knife and a few knuckles I wasn't using much...


What? I had to see Hendrix! (or somebody).

My father once took apart a fair chunk of the engine in a Ford 15 passenger van with a multi-tool and a long flat head screwdriver. On the side of the Florida Turnpike.

[protege]

For what it's worth, I've never run across any car that I had to actually use the manufacturer's "specialized" tool for.

With the MG though, there are a few places it's better to have the correct tool rather than make do. I'm thinking of the octagonal socket you need to pull off the rear hub nut on banjo-axle cars. Oh, and many screws that look like Phillips-head are actually Pozidrive. If you use a Phillips screwdriver, you'll chew up the centers. Those are just two that come to mind

But seriously, I've adapted various things to help me out in the garage. A discarded shopping cart, with the plastic body removed, and some metal pipe bolted to the frame made a fine engine stand. I've also heard that a pair of cheap sockets, washers, nut, and bolt works great as a clutch centering tool. I'm sure every mechanic already has those items lying around somewhere.

[blas]

I love people who just keep parroting what they've already said before.

"But you guys already DID a diagnostic test!"

Dear Lord, sounds like Whiney Bitch ex bf. He was never good at arguing, let alone handling when two people didn't agree on a subject, and his social skills sucked. So, one of the more entertaining things (God I'm a mean, bad girl) was when he was upset with me, or someone else, when he wasn't pulling silent treatment, he just kept repeating himself over and over. As if it changed from the first or second or third time he said it. "But YOU said you weren't doing anything!"