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Mwah ha ha. Just because I have a moral code against actively attacking women doesn't mean I can't still get one now and then.
As I've mentioned before, here at the paper, when people come up and need me to go get something for them, I want them to STAY PUT at my desk and do not come with me anywhere in the newsroom. While I'll admit it's mostly because I just don't want them following me, it's also a practical reason because we regularly have sensitive documents sitting around on various desks and the less those are exposed, the better (and yes, we have had people who would try to peek and got summarily shot down).
Sometimes, they try to follow me regardless of my telling them to wait, and I usually stop and tell them to have a seat, or if they're really insistant on it, I will walk back to my desk and sit and tell one of the reporters to bring me what I need instead, so they have no one to follow.
Today, I'm already in a pretty foul mood (family stuff, bleh), and this woman comes in needing to turn in something for the sports department, so I need to go get her a form to fill out. I tell her to stay seated (keep in mind, she was already sitting down) and I will bring her the form. So I get up and head back to the sports department, and I very definitely become aware of a presence behind me...and sure enough, it's her. I turn and ask her again to please have a seat and I will bring her the form she needs. I start to head back and she's once again ON. MY. ASS. "Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to go back and have a seat and I'll be right with you."
"Oh, okay!"
I turn back around and start to head back...and there she is again. I can practically feel her breathing on me this time.
NOW I'm pissed. But I know how to correct this particular misbehavior.
I usually walk with my head down, out of habit from scanning the ground for cats or babies at home. And this woman was just a bit shorter than me and like I said, ON MY ASS. So I went to get the form, picked it up, and, while "reading" the form to be sure I had the right one, of course, made a turnaround-and...
Well, you can guess what happens when the top of a calcium-rich skull meets a face. To be honest, if she wouldn't have been standing half an inch off my heels, she'd have been fine. See, boys and girls, this is what happens when you tailgate...
Her: *goes down on her butt, grabbing at her head* "Ow!"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry! I thought you went back to my desk!" *implied "Like I told you to twice."* "Are you okay? Are you bleeding?" *blah blah blah concern*
She wasn't hurt, I didn't plow her nearly as hard as I would have liked to, but I'm sure she'll probably have a very pretty bruise for a couple of days. Then again, considering how hard her head obviously is, she'll probably be fine. Idiot.
As I've mentioned before, here at the paper, when people come up and need me to go get something for them, I want them to STAY PUT at my desk and do not come with me anywhere in the newsroom. While I'll admit it's mostly because I just don't want them following me, it's also a practical reason because we regularly have sensitive documents sitting around on various desks and the less those are exposed, the better (and yes, we have had people who would try to peek and got summarily shot down).
Sometimes, they try to follow me regardless of my telling them to wait, and I usually stop and tell them to have a seat, or if they're really insistant on it, I will walk back to my desk and sit and tell one of the reporters to bring me what I need instead, so they have no one to follow.
Today, I'm already in a pretty foul mood (family stuff, bleh), and this woman comes in needing to turn in something for the sports department, so I need to go get her a form to fill out. I tell her to stay seated (keep in mind, she was already sitting down) and I will bring her the form. So I get up and head back to the sports department, and I very definitely become aware of a presence behind me...and sure enough, it's her. I turn and ask her again to please have a seat and I will bring her the form she needs. I start to head back and she's once again ON. MY. ASS. "Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to go back and have a seat and I'll be right with you."
"Oh, okay!"
I turn back around and start to head back...and there she is again. I can practically feel her breathing on me this time.
NOW I'm pissed. But I know how to correct this particular misbehavior.
I usually walk with my head down, out of habit from scanning the ground for cats or babies at home. And this woman was just a bit shorter than me and like I said, ON MY ASS. So I went to get the form, picked it up, and, while "reading" the form to be sure I had the right one, of course, made a turnaround-and...
Well, you can guess what happens when the top of a calcium-rich skull meets a face. To be honest, if she wouldn't have been standing half an inch off my heels, she'd have been fine. See, boys and girls, this is what happens when you tailgate...
Her: *goes down on her butt, grabbing at her head* "Ow!"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry! I thought you went back to my desk!" *implied "Like I told you to twice."* "Are you okay? Are you bleeding?" *blah blah blah concern*
She wasn't hurt, I didn't plow her nearly as hard as I would have liked to, but I'm sure she'll probably have a very pretty bruise for a couple of days. Then again, considering how hard her head obviously is, she'll probably be fine. Idiot.
Only one word can be used to describe that...
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