Tweet
This is a growing problem for me, and this is partly a plea for some advice.
What the hell do you do about perverted customers in a customer service environment?
Over the last couple of weeks, I've been subject to a fair few inappropriate comments from customers. The first one, an old guy was buying some stuff, I rang up his items, and started to put them in a bag. Due to the nature of the items, and the plastic bag, it seemed they might fall out, so I tied the handles in a knot, and I said "here, I'll just tie that up for you," while doing so.
To which he replied "Oooh, going to tie me up, are you?" and laughed. I immediately felt very uncomfortable- thing is, I didn't know how to respond. In friendly, familiar company, I could joke back, and I would even find that funny, but this really made me uncomfortable, he was a complete stranger. So instead, I kept a neutral face and ignored his comment. This seemed to annoy him, and he said "What, no comment?"
I replied "No sir, I'm afraid I found your comment somewhat inappropriate." To which, he then walked off, muttering angrily under his breath.
I was genuinely worried that he was going to complain, although fortunately he didn't. He'd been a pleasant customer right up to that point too. I was very annoyed by the whole thing. It was obvious what I was doing, and the whole thing could have even been ignored if he'd had the sense to realise perhaps I was embarrassed by his comment and not press the matter further (I've had one or two customers make a joke that was in poor taste, realise their gaffe, then just move on from it, thats fine).
He hasn't been alone. Most of the comments I seem to just miss so I haven't reacted to them openly, but I have felt embarrassed realising that I think my customer has just made yet another sexual comment.
Today has made me realise I have to do something about it.
I was serving on refunds today, and served a customer- a man older than my father, so I would probably guess late 50s? Anyway, finishing up his transaction, he then asks me if I'm going to Alt Fest this year- which I found a tad odd, just as he didn't strike me as an alternative type by his appearance (yet somehow, he'd clocked me as alternative/goth despite the work uniform, tied back hair and elephant earrings :P). I said no, as I don't like festivals (of the musical variety).
To which he pressed the matter saying I SHOULD go anyway. I said "Well, I like gigs, but I don't fancy the idea of standing around in a muddy field for a weekend!" (Every year, Glastonbury, Reading, Isle of Wight, they seem to get rained on lol). So he then asks me "So, are you into metal, or gothic?"
All the while, there are 2 more customers waiting behind him, and I have finished and trying to make myself look busy as the conversation was already making me feel a tiny bit weird. I'm walking back and forth along the length of the counter, carrying stuff. I reply "A little of both." He presses further what sort of music, and I say "like I said, a bit of everything. I was in London seeing a sort of Dark-cabaret musician last weekend" (Voltaire btw
).
"Do you go to Club Antichrist?"
Club Antichrist is a well-known fetish and alternative club, also in London. Loads of my friends have been, but I haven't. Its a little bit too fetishy for me, although I have no problem with that. I have been to tamer fetish clubs before, and you'll often find gothy types like them because of the music, relaxed and friendly atmosphere and excuse to dress elaborately I said no, and he started saying very enthusiastically "Oh you should go, you really should."
Distinctly feeling uncomfortable now, he finally left, and I said to the next customer, "Well, that was weird," and she replied "Yeah, I think he wanted you to go to that club with him!"
It DID feel a bit like a pick up in a way, like he was trying to chat me up a bit, which I suppose in itself isn't something to be OVERLY upset about, but having a guy older than your dad trying to tell you to go to a fetish club just seemed creepy to me, and even texted one of my friends (who also enjoys the fetish scene, calls it like it is, and isn't as easily as embarrassed as me) for her opinion- and she agreed it was creepy.
I can't fathom why I'm attracting all these creeps at the moment. Its certainly not down to my dress- I'm wearing work uniforms, black cargo trousers, black polo necks, and bright orange aprons. Clearly very sexy. I do wear gothic accessories and gothic makeup but thats hardly provocative. It would still upset me even in public, with my own clothing, but the clothing can hardly be a reason for this when its work uniform.
I was wondering if my friendly persona can be a problem, but I stopped right there- I am not going down that road again. Me being friendly is not the red-light to act like a complete douche nozzle in ANY situation, and certainly not when I'm clearly working. Surely it should be obvious that at least some of my friendliness is part of the customer service (the rest is just my sparkling personality). Thing is, we can debate sexism and stuff in bars and stuff till the cows come home, but ultimately I AM WORKING, I AM CLEARLY NOT HERE FOR CHAT UP LINES.
I have noticed ALL of the men who do this are older men, close to if not over 60. So much for the stereotype that the older generation have more manners.
Another weird thing is the fact that in some ways, these old creeps have zoned in on the right person. I DO frequent fetish clubs, and I even enjoy some light BDSM with my fiance (something I'm not at all ashamed to mention, especially on the Internet, where I have anonymity anyway, but I'm really not ashamed all the same. Of course, though, needless to say, I DO NOT discuss this at work, with customers or strangers). I enjoy naughty sexual jokes, and a part of my personality is quite sexually entuned, open-minded, and open when discussing those sorts of topics...however, I am not promiscuous, and I don't talk about that kinda stuff with strangers AT ALL- with friends and family, I give none of the fucks.
Its part of the reason that makes it more uncomfortable. I'm SURE I haven't joked about that kinda stuff at work before, but now I'm second guessing myself (when logically, I know I am a very professional rabbit, who does not discuss controversial topics like that while on the clock). I've been wondering if maybe I've laughed at something I shouldn't have, and I know I haven't- because i've been uncomfortable.
Tommorrow, I'm going to try and get hold of my supervisor and ask her advice, but I'm frankly at a loss here...its completely different to a colleague sexually harrassing you.
My fiance's advice so far is to go into the hardware aisle, and find a staple gun -_-
What the hell do you do about perverted customers in a customer service environment?
Over the last couple of weeks, I've been subject to a fair few inappropriate comments from customers. The first one, an old guy was buying some stuff, I rang up his items, and started to put them in a bag. Due to the nature of the items, and the plastic bag, it seemed they might fall out, so I tied the handles in a knot, and I said "here, I'll just tie that up for you," while doing so.
To which he replied "Oooh, going to tie me up, are you?" and laughed. I immediately felt very uncomfortable- thing is, I didn't know how to respond. In friendly, familiar company, I could joke back, and I would even find that funny, but this really made me uncomfortable, he was a complete stranger. So instead, I kept a neutral face and ignored his comment. This seemed to annoy him, and he said "What, no comment?"
I replied "No sir, I'm afraid I found your comment somewhat inappropriate." To which, he then walked off, muttering angrily under his breath.
I was genuinely worried that he was going to complain, although fortunately he didn't. He'd been a pleasant customer right up to that point too. I was very annoyed by the whole thing. It was obvious what I was doing, and the whole thing could have even been ignored if he'd had the sense to realise perhaps I was embarrassed by his comment and not press the matter further (I've had one or two customers make a joke that was in poor taste, realise their gaffe, then just move on from it, thats fine).
He hasn't been alone. Most of the comments I seem to just miss so I haven't reacted to them openly, but I have felt embarrassed realising that I think my customer has just made yet another sexual comment.
Today has made me realise I have to do something about it.
I was serving on refunds today, and served a customer- a man older than my father, so I would probably guess late 50s? Anyway, finishing up his transaction, he then asks me if I'm going to Alt Fest this year- which I found a tad odd, just as he didn't strike me as an alternative type by his appearance (yet somehow, he'd clocked me as alternative/goth despite the work uniform, tied back hair and elephant earrings :P). I said no, as I don't like festivals (of the musical variety).
To which he pressed the matter saying I SHOULD go anyway. I said "Well, I like gigs, but I don't fancy the idea of standing around in a muddy field for a weekend!" (Every year, Glastonbury, Reading, Isle of Wight, they seem to get rained on lol). So he then asks me "So, are you into metal, or gothic?"
All the while, there are 2 more customers waiting behind him, and I have finished and trying to make myself look busy as the conversation was already making me feel a tiny bit weird. I'm walking back and forth along the length of the counter, carrying stuff. I reply "A little of both." He presses further what sort of music, and I say "like I said, a bit of everything. I was in London seeing a sort of Dark-cabaret musician last weekend" (Voltaire btw
). "Do you go to Club Antichrist?"
Club Antichrist is a well-known fetish and alternative club, also in London. Loads of my friends have been, but I haven't. Its a little bit too fetishy for me, although I have no problem with that. I have been to tamer fetish clubs before, and you'll often find gothy types like them because of the music, relaxed and friendly atmosphere and excuse to dress elaborately
I said no, and he started saying very enthusiastically "Oh you should go, you really should."Distinctly feeling uncomfortable now, he finally left, and I said to the next customer, "Well, that was weird," and she replied "Yeah, I think he wanted you to go to that club with him!"
It DID feel a bit like a pick up in a way, like he was trying to chat me up a bit, which I suppose in itself isn't something to be OVERLY upset about, but having a guy older than your dad trying to tell you to go to a fetish club just seemed creepy to me, and even texted one of my friends (who also enjoys the fetish scene, calls it like it is, and isn't as easily as embarrassed as me) for her opinion- and she agreed it was creepy.
I can't fathom why I'm attracting all these creeps at the moment. Its certainly not down to my dress- I'm wearing work uniforms, black cargo trousers, black polo necks, and bright orange aprons. Clearly very sexy. I do wear gothic accessories and gothic makeup but thats hardly provocative. It would still upset me even in public, with my own clothing, but the clothing can hardly be a reason for this when its work uniform.
I was wondering if my friendly persona can be a problem, but I stopped right there- I am not going down that road again. Me being friendly is not the red-light to act like a complete douche nozzle in ANY situation, and certainly not when I'm clearly working. Surely it should be obvious that at least some of my friendliness is part of the customer service (the rest is just my sparkling personality
). Thing is, we can debate sexism and stuff in bars and stuff till the cows come home, but ultimately I AM WORKING, I AM CLEARLY NOT HERE FOR CHAT UP LINES. I have noticed ALL of the men who do this are older men, close to if not over 60. So much for the stereotype that the older generation have more manners.
Another weird thing is the fact that in some ways, these old creeps have zoned in on the right person. I DO frequent fetish clubs, and I even enjoy some light BDSM with my fiance (something I'm not at all ashamed to mention, especially on the Internet, where I have anonymity anyway, but I'm really not ashamed all the same. Of course, though, needless to say, I DO NOT discuss this at work, with customers or strangers). I enjoy naughty sexual jokes, and a part of my personality is quite sexually entuned, open-minded, and open when discussing those sorts of topics...however, I am not promiscuous, and I don't talk about that kinda stuff with strangers AT ALL- with friends and family, I give none of the fucks.
Its part of the reason that makes it more uncomfortable. I'm SURE I haven't joked about that kinda stuff at work before, but now I'm second guessing myself (when logically, I know I am a very professional rabbit, who does not discuss controversial topics like that while on the clock). I've been wondering if maybe I've laughed at something I shouldn't have, and I know I haven't- because i've been uncomfortable.
Tommorrow, I'm going to try and get hold of my supervisor and ask her advice, but I'm frankly at a loss here...its completely different to a colleague sexually harrassing you.
My fiance's advice so far is to go into the hardware aisle, and find a staple gun -_-
Comment