Now, if any of you read the short, awkward intro I posted, you'd know I'm really not good with words
at all. So forgive me any rhetoric transgressions, please 
Cheapskate
My mother, grandmother, aunt and I were working a yardsale last weekend. I left after the first annoyance of the day--I'd had my fill
CS-Cheapskate
Mom-You can figure this out!
CS--*picking up $7 dollar outfit* Oh, this is cute! Would you take $3 for it?
Mom-- No, $4.50 is the lowest I'll go.
CS-- *Debates, then folded outfit over arm and continues shopping. She then came over to the table with above outfit and basket.* So, $4.50 for all of this?
Mom-- No ma'am, the basket is $1. Your total is $5.50.
CS then hands my mother a five dollar bill, and precedes to wait silently.
Mom-- *After awkward moment of silence* I'm still waiting on 50 cents, ma'am.
CS--Oh, of course! *continues to wait silently, then sighs, throws two quarters on the table, and leaves.*
Uhm, what? Did she really think we'd let her off paying if she stood there long enough??
Creepy old pervert
This one actually happened about a year ago, when I was 16, and before I got a dog and a passion for hiking. I was largely overweight (still on the heavy side, but improving)
CP-Creepy Pervert
CPW-Creepy Pervert's Wife
Me--I'm gonna leave you in the mystery
Bgn--CPW is shopping, while CP (Who's at least 50) waits in their car. CPW and I strike up a friendly chat while she shops, as so often happens at these things. My brother walks by the open door, and CPW notices /Bgn
CPW--So, I guess that's you're boyfriend in the house?
Me-- *Awkward laugh* No, that's my older brother.
CPW-- Oh, but you do have a boyfriend, right?
Me-- . . . . Noo.
CPW-- Why not?
Me-- *Wanting the convo to end* I don't know?
CP-- You should. I like larger women better-They keep you warm in the winter. Mmmhmmm *winks*
Me-- *Now feeling insulted and weirded out* Thank you, have a nice day.
I went in and sent my brother out to deal with them. Ick!
Southern roads are sidewise!
Bgn--This is actually a story my brother told me. He works at some tire place. A misinformed woman comes in, complaining that her car shakes when she drives it. Not a sucky customer, just a funny one /Bgn
MW-misinformed woman
Bro--brother
MW--I just got down here from (northern state) and my car started to wobble!
Bro--No problem, ma'am, I'll just (run some sort of test to figure out what's wrong)
MW--Thanks!!
Brother runs test, comes back, and explains the problem and solution to her.
MW--Are you sure?
Bro--Yes ma'am, but if it would make you feel better, I can run the test again.
MW--No, no, it's just that my brother told me that roads in the south are sideways.
Bro-- . . .
Sideways?
MW--Yeah! He said you're roads were sideways, and not flat like northern roads.
Bro--I assure you, ma'am, our roads are just as flat as your's
MW--No, no! My brother said they were sideways! Can you fix my tires so they can drive on the sideways roads?
Bro-- Uhm. I can fix it to where your car won't shake when you drive, yes.
MW--Well, that's what I asked!
Bro fixes her tires and drives the car back out to her.
MW--Thanks sweetie!
Bro--

So, there's three stories for you! I have some more, but what fun would it be to tell them all at once?
Hope you enjoyed it!


Cheapskate
My mother, grandmother, aunt and I were working a yardsale last weekend. I left after the first annoyance of the day--I'd had my fill

CS-Cheapskate
Mom-You can figure this out!

CS--*picking up $7 dollar outfit* Oh, this is cute! Would you take $3 for it?
Mom-- No, $4.50 is the lowest I'll go.
CS-- *Debates, then folded outfit over arm and continues shopping. She then came over to the table with above outfit and basket.* So, $4.50 for all of this?
Mom-- No ma'am, the basket is $1. Your total is $5.50.
CS then hands my mother a five dollar bill, and precedes to wait silently.
Mom-- *After awkward moment of silence* I'm still waiting on 50 cents, ma'am.
CS--Oh, of course! *continues to wait silently, then sighs, throws two quarters on the table, and leaves.*
Uhm, what? Did she really think we'd let her off paying if she stood there long enough??
Creepy old pervert
This one actually happened about a year ago, when I was 16, and before I got a dog and a passion for hiking. I was largely overweight (still on the heavy side, but improving)
CP-Creepy Pervert
CPW-Creepy Pervert's Wife
Me--I'm gonna leave you in the mystery
Bgn--CPW is shopping, while CP (Who's at least 50) waits in their car. CPW and I strike up a friendly chat while she shops, as so often happens at these things. My brother walks by the open door, and CPW notices /Bgn
CPW--So, I guess that's you're boyfriend in the house?
Me-- *Awkward laugh* No, that's my older brother.
CPW-- Oh, but you do have a boyfriend, right?
Me-- . . . . Noo.
CPW-- Why not?
Me-- *Wanting the convo to end* I don't know?
CP-- You should. I like larger women better-They keep you warm in the winter. Mmmhmmm *winks*
Me-- *Now feeling insulted and weirded out* Thank you, have a nice day.
I went in and sent my brother out to deal with them. Ick!
Southern roads are sidewise!
Bgn--This is actually a story my brother told me. He works at some tire place. A misinformed woman comes in, complaining that her car shakes when she drives it. Not a sucky customer, just a funny one /Bgn
MW-misinformed woman
Bro--brother
MW--I just got down here from (northern state) and my car started to wobble!
Bro--No problem, ma'am, I'll just (run some sort of test to figure out what's wrong)
MW--Thanks!!
Brother runs test, comes back, and explains the problem and solution to her.
MW--Are you sure?
Bro--Yes ma'am, but if it would make you feel better, I can run the test again.
MW--No, no, it's just that my brother told me that roads in the south are sideways.
Bro-- . . .

MW--Yeah! He said you're roads were sideways, and not flat like northern roads.
Bro--I assure you, ma'am, our roads are just as flat as your's
MW--No, no! My brother said they were sideways! Can you fix my tires so they can drive on the sideways roads?
Bro-- Uhm. I can fix it to where your car won't shake when you drive, yes.
MW--Well, that's what I asked!
Bro fixes her tires and drives the car back out to her.
MW--Thanks sweetie!
Bro--


So, there's three stories for you! I have some more, but what fun would it be to tell them all at once?

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