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  • #1

    Two-fer Tuesday, except on Wednesday

    At least she has a good excuse

    "The cashier was crabby, but she's pregnant, so it's all good."

    --customer comment from the latest round of customer service surveys

    And yes, the person mentioned is very pregnant. And I say this being one of those people who believes it's inappropriate to call a woman pregnant unless she currently has a baby coming out of her.

    Snappy answers to stupid telephone questions

    While burning up the final minutes of my shift, I took an outside call for housewares. It went something like this, at least mentally:

    Me: Good afternoon, housewares, how can I help you today godie.

    Caller: Yes, Ma'am, I....

    Me: I'm a guy.

    Caller: ...was wondering if you had that vacuum cleaner that's green and red, and....

    Me: Of course we do! Lots of vacuums that are green and red! No end to green and red vacuums!

    Caller: I think it's by Hoover. Anyway, ma'am....

    Me: I'm a guy. You don't know the name of the vacuum you want?

    Caller: ...no. Could you look at the vacuums and give me the prices of all of them....

    Me: Sure! PRICE ALL THE VACUUMS.

    Caller...okay, just the Hoover ones, ma'am.

    Me: I'm a guy.

    (goes over to the vacuum cleaner aisle and notes the prices for the two Hoover vacuum cleaners we carry.

    Me: Okay, we have the Windtunnel Rewind vacuum for $120....

    Caller: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Me:

    Caller: I just remembered the name of it!

    Me:....and we also have the Hoover Really Nice Model vacuum cleaner fort $180.

    Caller: And what's the difference between the two of them?

    Me: Sixty bucks.

    Caller: No, really, why is one sixty bucks higher than the other one?

    Me: How the hell should I know? Maybe they check the Really Nice model for vermin at the factory before they ship it out.

    Caller: Do you sell a lot of those vacuums?

    Me: How the hell should I know?

    Caller: Do you have the $120 Hoover vacuum cleaner?

    Me: Yeah, a couple (has an entire shelf in the backroom full of them.)

    Caller: Okay ma'am, I'll be in later, thanks for your help.

    Me: I'm a guy. *click*
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Had a very similar conversation with one of my coworkers last night in regards to my name. Only this was face to face and it became apparent to me that even though she was well into her fifties, she was acting like a high school kid who was told she couldn't go to the prom.

    As to customers, I have so many of those conversations that I could create a leather bound volume.

    Comment

    • #3
      This happens freaking constantly to me, from all types of people (though mostly older in age). At least for you it's over the phone--to me it's in person. I sometimes call people out on it, but it's embarrassing, so embarrassing being mistaken as a girl.

      I don't even know what it is! The only thing I can think of is that I don't have facial hair and have hair longer than a buzz cut (seriously it doesn't even go past my neck, so I don't know how that could factor in). That's...pretty much all a person can see of me while I'm at my desk, which is where it usually happens at.

      And then there are people that are unsure, and will alternate between referring to you as a he and she. Why, if you were even slightly unsure of a persons gender, would you do that?!

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth Stone View Post

        And then there are people that are unsure, and will alternate between referring to you as a he and she. Why, if you were even slightly unsure of a persons gender, would you do that?!
        Because English has no gender neutral pronoun yet. I think we need to invent one here on customers suck and get it into common usage.

        Rule 1. It has to be clean.
        Rule 2. Has to be pronounceable by idiots.

        Ok enough rules.

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth Stone View Post
          it's embarrassing, so embarrassing being mistaken as a girl.
          Back in high school I was just starting to grow my hair out, and it was slightly long in back. While working at a restaurant, an 8- to 10-year-old boy came up behind me and said, "Excuse me, ma'am?" So I wheeled around on the poor fella, looked down at him, and making my already deep baritone voice even DEEPER, said, "Yes?"

          Kid about had a heart attack.

          Quoth Teskeria View Post
          Because English has no gender neutral pronoun yet. I think we need to invent one here on customers suck and get it into common usage.

          Rule 1. It has to be clean.
          Rule 2. Has to be pronounceable by idiots.

          Ok enough rules.
          Too many rules. That second one is going to make things tough.

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is           Still A Customer."

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Teskeria View Post
            Rule 1. It has to be clean.
            Rule 2. Has to be pronounceable by idiots.
            Rule 3. Spelled with one letter or less.
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth dalesys View Post
              Rule 3. Spelled with one letter or less.
              O for women. Q for guys, cos it's like O but with a willy.
              "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

              Comment

              • #8
                Great, now I'm reminded of the K/O mess from MIB III when you mention O for women.
                My Guide to Oblivion

                "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth cinema guy View Post
                  O for women. Q for guys, cos it's like O but with a willy.
                  That's perfect

                  Still too hard for some people to pronounce, though...
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Teskeria View Post
                    Because English has no gender neutral pronoun yet. I think we need to invent one here on customers suck and get it into common usage.

                    Rule 1. It has to be clean.
                    Rule 2. Has to be pronounceable by idiots.

                    Ok enough rules.
                    Actually, the transgender and genderqueer communities have two sets.

                    Zie/zir/zir (Pronounced zee, zir and zir), corresponding to 'He/him/his' or 'she/her/hers'.

                    Or sie/hir/hirs. (See, hir, hirs).
                    Seshat's self-help guide:
                    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Stone View Post
                      This happens freaking constantly to me, from all types of people (though mostly older in age). At least for you it's over the phone--to me it's in person. I sometimes call people out on it, but it's embarrassing, so embarrassing being mistaken as a girl.
                      Oh, that's happened to me. Lots.

                      I mean, how many women out there have a five o' clock shadow?
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        chummer, squid, grod, frood, ace, tango, bakebrain, bitjockey, blank, cupcake, git, headcount, pidgeon, target, mark, chumba, meatbag, choob, drone, popper, waste, bork, gonk...

                        all gender neutral
                        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                        Hoc spatio locantur.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          "Hir" is also an archaic male pronoun which was (iirc) gender-neutral, or at least close to it in the same way that male pronouns are *sometimes* used as gender-neutral in modern speech.
                          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post

                            Caller: Do you have the $120 Hoover vacuum cleaner?

                            Me: Yeah, a couple (has an entire shelf in the backroom full of them.)
                            Do I detect a Simpsons reference?
                            To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Teskeria View Post
                              Because English has no gender neutral pronoun yet. I think we need to invent one here on customers suck and get it into common usage.

                              Rule 1. It has to be clean.
                              Rule 2. Has to be pronounceable by idiots.

                              Ok enough rules.
                              It doesn't HAVE to have one. One can simply avoid using a gender based pronoun. It's as easy as cutting words from a word document.

                              For example; "Excuse me, Sir?" ---> "Excuse me?" "Excuse me, security?" would also be acceptable.

                              If you're talking one on one with a person, labeling said person with a gender pronoun is redundant--just as it would be if you were to use his/her name in conversation repeatedly...you're obviously talking to that person, it's unnecessary.

                              Comment

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